What would you do?

[Soundlurker]

If the bassist you're recording plays like that:
Mp3

 

[Clockwork]

Kill him. And then rerecord the parts yourself, it is the only way.

 

[spacem00se]

Oh my god. Like 13 yo me.

 

[Soundlurker]

I guess I'll record one of the the guitarists who's actually mainly a bass player (he's playing guitar as a secondary project). I just don't want to take part in the pre-pubescent drama that will probably ensue, so I'll tell them to settle it between themselves and only come back after that.

 

[~BURNY~]

Tell him to go home and practice... And never come back... Then spontaneously combust while laughing at him (with an evil laugh).

 

[AdamG94]

I personally would have laughed really hard, then told him it's not good enough and asked him to put some dedicated practice in, otherwise someone else will play his parts (i.e. you or the guitarist).

 

[updog]

I'd do all of those, in that order.

 

[crillemannen]

tell him straight up that this wont do, and then tell the band if they are remotely interested in a good result then they would have the best guitarist in the band track the bass

 

[Soundlurker]

To be honest this thread is mainly meant as a joke, I know I'm not going to let such playing make it to the final product, whatever the cost. It's just that my attitude towards clients is to be as friendly as possible (as long as it doesn't deteriorate the quality of my work substantially) and telling someone the harsh truth is rarely well appreciated by him.

The main problem is that I know for a fact that he has practised a lot because he knew his parts and the song order and the band can testify to that. However, he has very bad picking technique and a mediocre sense for rhythm at best. Some people just don't really have it in them but I can't tell him "ehm...have you tried taking up bowling or something else that doesn't involve desecrating an art? Yet they don't have a deadline so he'd insist on rehearsing more unless I give him a good reason why that would be futile.

 

[Erik Monsonis]

TBH it's a terrible playing, I'm not saying the opposite... but I've had MUCH worse and quite frequently... FML

 

[Max Morton]

at least the strings are not dead (trying to be optimistic here )

 

[Max Morton]

but I've had MUCH worse and quite frequently... FML

and yeah, +1. especially, in teenage metalcore bands

 

[colonel_claypoo]

i've heard worse.
first thing I would do is ask him to simplify the parts, although in this case, there's not a lot you can simplify.
secondly I'd ask if anybody else in the band can do it better. probably the guitarists since it's also played with a pick.
thirdly and most propably I'd record it myself or ask a friend to do it.
and lastly, program it and say you're their savior and can make any performance sound like a machine^^

 

[gabriel g.]

if a bass player plays like this I let him do 5 takes . Then I take the bass and play it. Then I show him the difference and ask the band if they want a tight sounding record or something for their egos...

 

[Soundlurker]

at least the strings are not dead (trying to be optimistic here )

Yes, it took me a lot of time and effort to convince him that there's a difference between freshly opened strings and 3-week-old ones.

Anyway, the guitar player will try to persuade him that it's for the best if he records it instead.

 

[Lon]

just to easen your burden, i've had to deal with far worse bassplaying than this, and yes, it still boggles me how bad you can play an instrument

 

[Mago]

at least the strings are not dead (trying to be optimistic here )

hahaha I thought the same

Telling him to go home and practice would be the right thing, but I guess since they'd want it done some of the guitarplayers should do it.

Wouldnt record it myself without telling them, seems like a dickish move.

 

[Lasse Lammert]

at least the strings sound new....

most punkbands I worked with had a bass player like that....

 

[Harry Hughes]

Wut, bass isn't even my first instrument and I can play it better than that.
Boggles my mind that people can't figure out how to hold a pick properly and fret notes properly.

 

[ahjteam]

I was expecting something like... a lot worse. Like my bassplaying (and yes, there is no guitar in that clip).