Why I Am A Christian

[xfer]

October 30, 2002 - Wireless Flash
Did Jesus Eat Magic Mushrooms At Last Supper?

SANTA CRUZ, Calif. (Wireless Flash) -- Chew on this: An ethnobotanist in Santa Cruz, California, thinks Jesus was munching magic mushrooms at the Last Supper.
Clark Heinrich says man has enjoyed the psychedelic effects of mushrooms since thousands of years before Christ -- and figured the King of Kings probably turned on as well.

In fact, he thinks Jesus was high on a psychedelic 'shroom known as "fly agaric" which was hailed for its taste as well as its trips.

Heinrich says the mushroom resembles pita bread and when soaked with water it feels exactly like human skin. He figures that's the bread that Jesus was referring to at the last supper when he said "eat this bread, this is my body."

But that's not the only way Jesus might have doled out psychedelics. Heinrich says people who eat lots of shrooms have a reddish-orange urine that's even more hallucinogenic -- and figures the almighty turned water into wine by whizzing into a five-gallon jug of H20.

Heinrich is the author of a new book, "Magic Mushrooms In Religion And Alchemy" (Park Street Press).

 

[Stultus]

 

[xfer]

"piss christ" versus people with longer sideburns than brandon walsh? pff, my religion WINS.

 

[Stultus]

You can just imagine my guys killing your savior.

 

[Stultus]

Well, it seems my people met with your people and reached a settlement.

 

[FuSoYa]

1) I think after reading that, I am also a Christin now.

2) But I have forelocks.

 

[xfer]

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

 

[xfer]

2) my Jewish roommate commented positively about your forelocks after you left the other day. but he's one of those fake Jews who won't eat pork yet he's not religious (no, I don't see the point, either) so take his comments with a grain of (kosher) salt (or non-kosher, he won't mind).

 

[avi]

I'm a Jew and I actually keep kosher so fuck all y'all

 

[xfer]

I was going to write a screenplay once about this scientist who genetically engineered flying lobsters so they would no longer be considered bottom-feeders and Jews could eat THE MOST DELICIOUS OF BUGS while stile keeping kosher. Then the flying lobsters escape and wreak havoc, leaving pinched noses and creeped-out children in their wake. Kind of like Piranha 2.

 

[xfer]

...but I didn't for obvious reasons.