Why the FUCK don't you like Uriah Heep?

Uriah Heep aren't metal? Whether or not they are directly metal is up for debate, but they are important players in the story... in the first chapter, admittedly!

All the elements were there- heavy (ish) riffs, screaming vocals, pounding drums, crazy stage antics, and above all, mad volume.

That is more metal to me than a million death or black metal bands who completely miss the point!