You're just not avid readers
when books started being called "summer beach reads" i [being still a kid] thought this was a reference to all those books being the same length
so, i thought "
driving down to the beach, opening page one, finishing the book, then driving home and going to sleep in your own house"
i spent my whole childhood thinking a "summer beach read" was a length of book, the length of book you would read in a single fucking day on the beach, where you wake-up in your own house,
drive to the beach, read the entire freaking book, then drive home and sleep in your own fucking bed.
and sometimes i actually read books that fast
a random book by R. A. Salvatore, Laurel K. Hamilton, Ed Greenwood, Charlaine Harris, i can read in a day
it was only after becoming an adult [and having already read a huge amount of the books by the above authors] that i discovered that "summer beach read" was a reference to teachers in Minnesota going to Miami for summer vacation where it takes all fucking summer to read a fucking James Patterson book
lumping me into the category of those dumb-asses that take all-fucking-summer to read a
single book is actually horribly offensive