101 Rules of Power Metal

[DoomsdayZach]

Fuck ken... i now have cover art! An owlbear chasing after some bitch with her titties all hanging out of a torn toga (with strategically placed wisps of hair and shreds of cloth, of course)... damn that will be sick as hell.

 

[Kenneth R.]

wtf. you can't censor cheesy metal. do manowar wear clothes?

 

[DoomsdayZach]

speaking of, i just took a dump so epic that Manowar should write a song about it. It has all the components of a manowar song... epic struggles, hard times, fallen brothers, riding into battle upon my trusty [porceline] steed...

And ken, you're getting all fucked up. Only guys in power metal get naked, hence the homoerotic nature of the genre. Chicks are always dressed in torn shreds of clothing, but never anything more than a bit of crack and ample cleavage showing. Black metal and death metal are the ones with gratuitous nudity, albeit the nudity is quite... er... non-erotic in nature.

 

[Kenneth R.]

orite. So that's rule #102 of why Power Metal sucks

 

[DoomsdayZach]

But power metal doesn't suck. i would rather listen to Manowar or Hammerfall over pain of salvation and fates warning ANY day.

 

[Kenneth R.]

You make Owlbear cry.

 

[DoomsdayZach]

No, because bands like manowar and hammerfall have badass mascots like owlbear. pain of salvation and fates warning have mascots like... Ollie, the don't drink and drive ostrich and Rosco, the drug-free racoon.

 

[Kenneth R.]

rofl

 

[Detective Clarence Beauregard]

pain of salvation and fates warning have mascots like... Ollie, the don't drink and drive ostrich and Rosco, the drug-free racoon.

 

[PizzashaX]

How can you people hate power metal? When Symphony X has a power metal feel to it. (at least, thats what me and my friends believe)

I saw this list on a Facebook group, I had fun reading it.

 

[razoredge]

Well, the more bands that sign on to a genre the more the genre begins to have problems and there are alot of power metal bands playing the same shit, the same exact formula. The only thing SX has for common elements with power metal is the metal part. Outside of that they are a stand alone band. A gem amidst a pile of ashes.

 

[Meedleyx10]

the main difference between SX and powermetal is that SX doesn't make a habit of sucking

other than that, there are quite a few parallels

 

[CttN]

speaking of, i just took a dump so epic that Manowar should write a song about it. It has all the components of a manowar song... epic struggles, hard times, fallen brothers, riding into battle upon my trusty [porceline] steed...

Oh God. I have to sig that.

 

[progmetaldan]

the main difference between SX and powermetal is that SX doesn't make a habit of sucking

other than that, there are quite a few parallels

Good call...

 

[1by4by9]

No, because bands like manowar and hammerfall have badass mascots like owlbear. pain of salvation and fates warning have mascots like... Ollie, the don't drink and drive ostrich and Rosco, the drug-free racoon.

EPIC LOL

 

[MnoruS]

'Lord of the thunder' murders every single song ever created.

 

[symphonyXjapan]

I find it funny that so many people bash stereotypical power metal. This is because one of the most liked songs on the new SyX album is one of their most power metal sounding songs yet, The Walls of Babylon. It has a lot of the stereotypical traits of power metal that have already been mentioned here.

 

[DoomsdayZach]

i love power metal. I'm in a power/thrash band. WOOO!!!

<3 manowar

SOUND THE CHARGE, INTO GLORY RIIIDE
OVER THE TOP OF THEIR VANQUISHED PRIDE
BY MOONLIGHT WE RIIIIIIDE
TEN THOUSAND SIIIIDE BY SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Detective Clarence Beauregard]

I find it funny that so many people bash stereotypical power metal. This is because one of the most liked songs on the new SyX album is one of their most power metal sounding songs yet, The Walls of Babylon. It has a lot of the stereotypical traits of power metal that have already been mentioned here.

No.

Seven and possibly Set the World on Fire might be considered power metal. Maybe even Eve of Seduction. I'll admit that some of the vocals in Babylon are power metalish, but that's it. The music is far more complex than your stereotypical power metal song. Go listen to Hearts on Fire and tell me it sounds anything like Walls of Babylon.

 

[DoomsdayZach]

Hearts on fire slays so much, but everyone knows that the only Hammerfall album worth owning is the Glory to the Brave. Seriously, that album is magic.