A little bit of feedback from you lot

[Goreripper]

Because you can't post attachments here, I've posted up a little tale I wrote on this thread

http://www.ultimatemetal.com/forum/lord-off-topic/385728-some-feedback-if-possible.html#post7160230

on the LORD forum. I'm looking for some comment on it before I send it out into the void of short-story publishing. So if any of you have a few minutes to take a look, I'd appreciate it.

Cheers.

 

[Stonewall]

You may want to think about setting the line spacing to double and numbering the pages.

 

[Southy]

If I had the time to read it all I would, but it is a good read so far

 

[Stonewall]

I'm with Southy, the first page is quite gripping, a good opener... if I have anything further intelligent to say as I make my way through it I shall.

 

[Priest of Evil]

hopefully read it later today

 

[Winmar]

Downloaded. Will read, but not tonight, because have to study for class tomorrow. Sore finger, can't type properly. Personal pronouns therefore omitted from this post.

 

[Iron Zombius]

wow.......i liked it alot.

discriptively you made it easy to imagine the surroundings. Just couldnt get the bit about leila birth.......will PM if you like so as i dont spoil it for those yet to have read it.

 

[Stonewall]

Did you end up having any success with this one Gore?

 

[Goreripper]

It's been rewritten a couple of times since then, and rejected a couple of more times. No luck so far. One editor told me it was shit.

 

[Stonewall]

Well, that's not very nice. Perservering?

 

[Southy]

Did you retort with the old, 'no your shit'?

Just keep perservering mate, it'll be printed one day and people will be all kinds of shown up as dumb

 

[Goreripper]

I haven't submitted it for a while due to other shit I am doing, but after the Chrissy period I'll start looking again.

 

[Blitzkrieg]

Harry Potter was rejected by a few publishers before being picked up. That amuses me.

 

[Goreripper]

Unfortunately, Stephanie Meyers wasn't rejected often enough.

I can just see the editor the first time he/she saw a Harry Potter manuscript: "This is just a rip off of A Wizard of Earthsea with some Tom Brown's Schooldays and Roald Dahl mixed in. We'd be fools to publish this."

 

[Blitzkrieg]

Like a fox.