*cracks fingers*
Right, then...
1.What is your full name?
David Neil Woodhouse
2.How old are you?
(don´t cheat, ladies!!)
20
3.Favourite color?
Aquamarine.
4.Favourite food and drink?
Roast dinner or Burger King spicy beanburger, depends on my mood. I drink mostly tea, coffee and orange juice, with the occasional scotch.
5.Favourite movie?
I guess right now it would have to be Amadeus.
6.Favourite tv-serie?
Don't have one.
7.Favourite cartoon character?
Don't have one.
8.Favourite game?
If you mean computer game, then it would be any of the Infinity Engine RPGs.
9.The sickest thing you know?
Two wrinkly old men with long beards having anal sex in a bathtub filled with urine, shit and vomit, one of them occasionally stopping to suck a lump of poo out of the other's beard. Yep, that ought to do it.
10.What is the thing you like doing best? OR
10.Is sex the best thing in the world?
( ´cause the pressure of the public eye
)
I'm still a virgin...the thing I like doing best is writing.
11.The most evil thing anyone has ever said to you?
"Satan be with you!" (Someone's way of wishing me good luck before my GCSEs)
12.The most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to you?
"Nice arse, mate"
13.The best gig you´ve ever been to?
The most recent Maiden gig.
14.What foreign countries you have visited to?
Only France a couple of times.
15.In what foreign countries you´d like to go someday?
Iceland, Italy and America.
16.The best coutry in the world?
Great Britain, because it's the country with me in it.
17.Coffee or tea?
Either.
18.Milk or water?
Milk.
19.The ugliest thing you own?
I have an eyesore of a Marilyn Manson hoody from my younger days. I got it as a present in the time where I was starting to grow out of Manson, and I don't think I've ever worn it.
20.The best word in the whole wide world?
Flibbertigibbet. And that's a Shakespearean word, OK?
21.What is your job?
Student.
22.What would you WANNA do for living?
Be an author, or any kind of artist really.
23. The worst band you know?
Westlife. The absolute nadir of pop music. The indisputable worst of the worst.
24. Best season?
1986/87.
25. Who is your best friend?
You don't know him.
26. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
Plenty of times. I've got a soft spot for the mature lady.
27. The most goodlooking famous person? (Man and a woman)
David Ryder-Prangley (male), that chick from that thing (female).
28. Best in Christmas?
Uh...what?
29. Do you like sleeping?
No, I like to lie in bed awake, or to dream of course.
30. Person you´d like to kill or at least make disappear?
Can't think of anyone really. I'm arrogant enough to just blank out people I don't like.
31. Best author?
William Burroughs.
32. Your favourite book?
The Place Of Dead Roads.
33. Internet- site you use the most (not your mail-box)?
Ultimate Metal.
34. What thing pushes your buttons EVERY time it happens?
Getting praise for my work.
35. For what are you fanatic for?
Nothing, really.
36. Support McDonald´s?
No. Their food is disgusting. I eat at Burger King.
37. Death Metal or Black Metal?
Black Metal. To me, average Black Metal is kind of enjoyable, but average Death Metal is excruciatingly boring, not to say that I don't like GOOD death...
38. Darkness or light?
Well, it's bloody hard to see what you're doing in the dark, plus I'm sick to the back teeth of "the beauty of darkness" and "inspiring gloom" seeing as so many "Mature Metal" bands seem to have such a giant stiffy for the concepts...so I'm going with light.
39.Like Lord of the Rings?
Yes.
40. Who´s the best charachter in it?
I can't say. For me, the story itself is the star of the show. In the films, I suppose it would be Legolas and Gimli.
L: "He was twitching!"
G: "He was twitching because he's got my axe embedded in his nervous system!"
41. Rain or shine?
Rain.
42. What is so horrible thing you´d never do it, you´d rather die?
Have a lobotomy. My mind is my most treasured possession.
43. what colour is your toothbrush?
White and purple.
44. Do you have fetishes and if yes, what are they?
I'm sexosexual.
45. g-strings: yes or no?
On women, yes. On me, no. On Jo Brand, HELL NO.
46. name 3 favorite band of yours
Black Sabbath, ELP and The Scorpions.
47. Do you have pets?
Two cats; a fluffy black and white one called Hendrix and a sleek white one called Aimee.
48. Do you have siblings?
One younger brother.
49. Can you sing?
A very little bit. I can sing along with Type O Negative or Pulp (until Jarvis Cocker goes for the higher notes). Having a fairly deep voice and a narrow range, I can't sing much that I actually like.
50. Puppies or kitties?
Kitties! Me wubs kitty kats.
51. Are you in a relationship? (if yes, do you love him/her from the bottom of your heart?)
No.
52. do you believe in love from the first sight?
Yes.
53. Are you religious?
Not really. My strongest religious belief is a firm conviction that it may be possible that something fitting the description of a God or Gods might possibly exist.
54. rate yourself from 1 to 10 with explanation
10. Without me, nothing that ever happened to me would ever have happened to me.
55. Do you keep posters on your wall? What kind?
No.
56. Do you dye your hair?
No.
57. Who should be the king of the world if there could be one?
The person who wants the job least.
58. Do you dress in black clothes? if no, then in what colors?
Yes, usually black of some form, but I like blue and red as well.
59. What would you rather be deaf, mute or blind?
Mute, easily.
60. Are goths gay?
I don't know, why don't you ask them?
61. What is your favourite tree?
Me favourite tree be Sabbath, ELP and de Scorp'yans, like me is already said, mon.
62. Do you wear socks?
Yes.
63. What is your favourite piece of furniture?
My bed.
64. Do you consider yourself as an adult?
Yes, and so does this driving licence, now GIVE ME THE BEER, GODDAMNIT!
65. Your opinion on marijuana?
Smoke it if you want to. I don't give a gnat's nuts.
66. Leatherpants or jeans?
Jeans.
67. Do you feel that text-messages and e-mails have destroyed the "real" way of discussion?
No.
68. What language would you wanna learn?
I'd like to study Italian a bit further.
69. Do you wear glasses?
Yes, for driving or reading at a distance.
70. Studying or working?
Studying.
71. What festivals have you been to?
Only one was the Big Day Out at Milton Keynes, with Metallica headlining. I went to the so-called "Monsters of Rock" fest at the NEC, but that was just a glorified Alice Cooper gig with a few more support bands than normal.
72. If there is a room with one door and 3 windows and there are madmans coming in in every one of them, what will you do?(use your imagination, there can be something else as well)
Offer them counselling.
73. Will you one day have kids?
I hope so.
74. Do you yet have names for them picked up? What are they?
Boys: Victor, Hector, Alfred.
Girls: Elizabeth, Helen, Venus.
If there's any more after that then I plan to use the Roman numbering system, so the seventh would be Septimus or Septima.
75. If you could, what kinda machine would you build in an amusement park?
An anti-puke field generator.
76. Are candles nice pretty-lighty-thingys or just something you can put peoples hair to?
Candles are OK.
77. What do you parents do for a living?
Well, my mother is permanently unemployed through disability. My birth father used to be a technician for the RAF, no idea what he's up to now. My first stepfather is an assistant manager for a roofing company, and my second stepfather just left an assistant manager's job at a factory in London to move up to Coventry and live with us.
78. Did you have a happy childhood?
Fantastic. I have very happy memories, especially of my pre-teen years.
79. Roof or floor?
For what?
80. Do you often picture people naked?
Yes.
81. Are you expecting something exciting in this very minute? What is it?
No.
82. Sherlock Holmes or Hercule Poirot?
Poirot.
83. Do you hate copy-machines? (this question has something to do with the thing that I´m dealing here right now...and I say YES)
No.
84. Crowded busses...place to blow your head off or good place to chat?
I hate, hate, HATE crowded buses.
85. Skating or skiing?
Neither.
86. Hair open or with a pony-tail?
I'm wearing a ponytail right now. I have to tie it back for work and sometimes I don't bother letting it back down.
87. Gymnastics or dancing?
Gymnastics.
88. Some dude with a bad breath comes to talk to you, what do you do?
Ignore the whiff. A lot of my friends smell.
89. Do you have a driver´s licence?
Yes.
90. As what kinda driver you´d classify yourself?
Maybe too fast, but I've got some skills.
91. How tall are you?
6'4"
92. Would you wanna build your own house?
If I could get a big plot of land and execute all my weird ideas.
93. Do you like being photographed?
Yep.
94. Have you ever posed nude?
No. Well, not for public consumption anyway.
95. Are you lazy? Explain yourself!
Heh, well I sometimes lie in bed till gone eleven in the morning, but then I get up and don't stop doing stuff till 2:30 the next morning...
96. Do you wear jewellery? What kind?/Why not?
Yes, I've got a silver ring on that I've worn for about eight months now. Usually only wear rings and pendants.
97. When something doesn´t go your way, what do you do? (shout, curse, cry, wait a minute...)
Suck it up.
98. Look yourself with some other persons eyes. What do you see?
Some dopey asshole with a mullet.
99. What animal would you wanna be?
I wouldn't. Being an animal would suck.
100. Do you watch the news? Why?/Why not?
Sometimes. I find it interesting.
101. Do you like Nine Inch Nails? (inspired by Rusty´s "avatar"-words)
No, they're appalling, the most overrated thing in the history of anything.
102. Have you ever worn a beret? You like ´em in general?
No, and I never will. They sometimes look cute on girls, but they make men, and I mean ALL men, look like posers.
103. You run towards a corner, pull the carpet from the floor and find a secret passage like in old movies. What do you see when you open the hatch?
That set of keys that I lost three bloody years ago.
104. Which is scarier weapon: a dirty knife or a huge stick with nails put into it?
A huge stick.
105. Long skirts or short ones?
Depends on the legs.
106. How do you usually spend your Saturday nights?
Same way I spend every night. Writing, working, posting on here.
107. What is the worst illness you´ve had?
I've been very lucky, I've never had anything life-threatening. Worst was probably a mysterious headache that made me puke and got so bad that they put me on a hospital ward.
108. Seen a dead person? in real life, I mean.
No.
109. The most stupid thing you did during your childhood?
Off the top of my head, there was this girl at school who used to get bullied, people saying she was dirty and had fleas. They used to make a show of wiping the chair if they had to sit in it after her. One day I was really I pissed off about something and she got in my way, and I said "Out of my way, Fleabag!", and she broke down and started crying. Never in my life have I regretted anything quite so much, and what's worse is that I never even apologised.
110. Math or languages?
Either suits me. Don't mean to brag, but (ahem) GCSE French (A*), GCSE German (A), GCSE Maths (A).
111. Blonds or brunettes?
Blondes, I'm afraid to say.
112. The best ice cream tastes like...?
Haagen Dazs chocolate flavours.
113. Have you ever walked out from a movie theatre in the middle of the show ´cause the movie sucked so hard?
Nope.
114. What thing did you bought, paid lots and didn´t even like the result?
Nothing major. Shelled out for a few crappy CDs on my time.
115. Are you able to see things often from another persons angle?
Yes.
116. Have you kept a diary?
Several.
117. What magazines you like to read?
Terrorizer, Fortean Times, The Economist, Total Guitar.
118. Is the world now scarier place than it was when you grew up?
No, not really.
119. Are you bi-sexual?
No. I can appreciate male beauty, but men don't attract me sexually.
120. Enough yet?
Hell no. Bring it on, bee-hotch.
121. Which do you prefer; science fiction or horror?
Science fiction.
122. Why are we still here?
Why is who still where?
123. Is Arnold tougher than Sylvester?
No. Arnie is a pussy. And in case he's reading this, my name is Boris Stravinsky and I live in Malmo, Sweden.
124. Have you completely forsaken VHS´s now that DVD has come?
Not quite. I still watch my old videos, though I haven't bought any recently.
125. George W. Bush?
No thanks, you keep him.
126. Do you have "snail-mail"-buddies?
No, apart from my half-sister, all the people I write to I also e-mail.
127. You like getting a tan?
Yes.
128. You got tattoos/piercings?
My left ear is pierced, and I've got a Celtic band tattooed around my right arm.
129. ...shit...
No thanks, I'd prefer some cake.
130. When is the last time you´ve build a snowman?
Ages ago.
131. When is your birthday?
April 20th.
132. Getting or giving gifts?
Giving. The feeling of making someone happy is so much better than the feeling of grinning like a Cheshire cat while thinking "I'm never EVER going to use this bloody thing..."
133. Do you boicot something?
No.
134. Could somebody else please take over?
I think someone did.
135. Who´s going to Wacken (yep, still on that fucking subject)
Not me.
136. Have you travelled by an airplane? How´s it like? I should do this in the summer but I´m afraid...
No. Statistics show that 100% of aeroplane passengers will die at some point in their lives.
137. How often do you wash your hair?
Varies. Once every couple of days to once a week.
138. How long does it take for you to take a shower?
Ten or fifteen minutes. I hate getting out of the shower.
139. Could you go in a plastic surgery? What would you "fix"?
Nothing.
140. Speaking or listening?
Listening, if it's interesting.
141. Who would you wanna meet? (dead or alive)
Ozzy Osbourne, before he turned into an affable old fool.
142. Politics?
No.
143. Are a good cook?
If you like oven chips or frozen curries.
144. Do you like cleaning?
No.
145. Suicide is...?
Dangerous.
146. What do you think about men who dress in skirts and wear make up?
Soundtrack to my youth
147. Are policemen our friends or enemies?
Friends, mostly.
148. Are you afraid of going to a dentist?
No.
149. How do you want to die?
On stage in front of 20,000 people at the climax of the greatest fucking gig any band has ever played.
150. Tell me what you think of me (Lumitalvi).
Don't know who you are.
151. What is the most stupid stereotype?
Jews are hard working money fiends. The only Jew I know is lazy as fuck and would rather be poor than tired.
152. Would you rather be an actor or a POPstar?
Actor.
153. Britney or Christina?
Britney. "X-Tina" sux0rz.
154. What is/was your favourite toy?
The teddybear that I've still got. It's had bits pulled off it, it's had vomit washed off it, but it's still around.
155. Did your parents read bedtime stories to you?
I don't think so.
156. Are you afraid giving speeches?
Not at all.
157. Blacksmith or shoemaker?
Er...
158. Wiccas are...?
Annoying.
159. Do you consider yourself as a patient person?
Yes, until something pisses me off.
160. Wanna go out when it´s raining?
Yeah, rain is quite nice.
161: What do you think of me (Rusty)??
Don't know who you are.
162. What do you think of rahvin??
Don't know who you are.
163. Why the fucking hell isn´t Rusty gonna come to Tuska?
Because he knows Tuska is a shitpit?
164. In what eeeeevill and verymuch HURTING way should we punish him??
Make him go to Tuska.
165. Why doesn´t my stomach like food in the morning?
It's trying to tell you that you should go back to bed.
166. Why I am so fucking short of cash?
Because they're whores, not charity workers.
---
167. How many cousins do you have?
Umpteen. Fuck knows.
168. Do you often buy new clothes?
No. I buy new shirts at gigs and that's about it.
169. Is honesty the best policy?
Not when you just killed someone and ate their brain it isn't.
170. Do you take good care of your health?
No.
171. Vegetables or fruits?
Fruits are funny, with all their simpering and camping, while vegetables just lay around taking up space, so I'm gonna say fruits.
172. How many nights a month you sit in a bar?
None.
173. What´s the last gig you´ve seen? (last, not best)
Maiden at the NEC.
174. Do you consider yourself as a scenepolice? (in any scene)
No.
175. Are you desperately waiting for spring to come?
No.
176. Have you tried out what dog food tastes like?
No, but I have eaten a cat biscuit.
177. One thing in your life you would do differently.
See #109.
178. Is fucking animals cool?
If the Swedish think it's OK, it must be OK
179. What instrument would you wanna play?
Theremin.
180. *hands out a gun for you to shoot me with*
I can't reach it. There seems to be a computer screen or two in the way.
181. Do you actually read others answers?
Probably not.
182-190. What do you think of...
I haven't heard of any of them.
191. What is your favorite sex position?
Trousers down, right hand on the mouse, left hand on the cock.
192. Do you like the taste of the opposite sex's genitals? (how official did that just sounded?)
And to be more exact, I mean CLEAN genitals, not festival genitals after 3 days without a shower
No idea.
193-201. Sex...sex...sex...
I'm a virgin. I either don't know or don't care about these questions.
*crosses fingers before clicking Submit*
