A Viking Christmas

[Tyra]

A Viking Yule
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the Hall Not a creature was stirring, not warrior nor thrall And I in my armour, my greaves and my helm Was drunker than anyone else in the Realm.
I staggered upstairs and fell into bed
While four quarts of mead were ablaze in my head.
Then up from below came the sounds of a brawl So I grabbed up my axe and ran down the Hall.
I missed the last step and crashed down in a heap Thinking, "Why can't those low-lifes downstairs go to sleep?!"
When what to my wondering eyes should appear But two brawny strangers, wielding mallet and spear.
I said to myself, "We'll soon have them beat!"
Then I noticed ten warriors laid out at their feet.
I gave out a yell and leapt into the fray....
I'll always regret my poor choice of that day.
For the one laid his hammer to the side of my nose And up, up, up to the rafters I rose.
Then came a lone frightened voice from the floor, "Those are no mortal warriors -- that's Odin and Thor"
Then they looked at each other and they said, "Battle's done.
Now they know who we are, it no longer is fun."
Then Thor raised his hammer, and his elbow he bent, And with a loud crash, through the ceiling they went.
I crawled through the Hall and flung open the door, Not really sure that I'd seen them before.
The snow bathed in starlight, the moon like a glede, I saw them ride off on an eight-legged steed.
And I heard them exclaim, 'ere they flew out of sight, "TO HELA WITH CHRISTMAS, WE JUST LOVE A GOOD FIGHT!"

Good Yule to all, from Tyra

 

[Krigloch the Furious]

that was great!

 

[Amogh]

@#$@#^@#% Vikings FTW!

 

[Sleipnir]

Happy Yule to you and yours T, keep me posted......................

A Viking Yule
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the Hall Not a creature was stirring, not warrior nor thrall And I in my armour, my greaves and my helm Was drunker than anyone else in the Realm.
I staggered upstairs and fell into bed
While four quarts of mead were ablaze in my head.
Then up from below came the sounds of a brawl So I grabbed up my axe and ran down the Hall.
I missed the last step and crashed down in a heap Thinking, "Why can't those low-lifes downstairs go to sleep?!"
When what to my wondering eyes should appear But two brawny strangers, wielding mallet and spear.
I said to myself, "We'll soon have them beat!"
Then I noticed ten warriors laid out at their feet.
I gave out a yell and leapt into the fray....
I'll always regret my poor choice of that day.
For the one laid his hammer to the side of my nose And up, up, up to the rafters I rose.
Then came a lone frightened voice from the floor, "Those are no mortal warriors -- that's Odin and Thor"
Then they looked at each other and they said, "Battle's done.
Now they know who we are, it no longer is fun."
Then Thor raised his hammer, and his elbow he bent, And with a loud crash, through the ceiling they went.
I crawled through the Hall and flung open the door, Not really sure that I'd seen them before.
The snow bathed in starlight, the moon like a glede, I saw them ride off on an eight-legged steed.
And I heard them exclaim, 'ere they flew out of sight, "TO HELA WITH CHRISTMAS, WE JUST LOVE A GOOD FIGHT!"

Good Yule to all, from Tyra

 

[Thrymfal]

hilarious

 

[Knarfi]

great!

 

[darcy]

i love it!

my roomate and i are going to have a little festergreen this year... i plan to buy some little horses and cut off the legs of half of them to make little sleipnir ornaments and top it with a little mjolnir. it will be awesome.

 

[Belgar]

I always prefered Sinterklaas/St Nicolas to Christmas. As a matter of fact my gf and I do celebrate it ... reminds me of when I was young.

 

[Thrymfal]

oh yeah, i know what you mean. I'm no christian, but i do celebrate mid-winter generosity day, which curiously enough is always on the 25th

 

[Knarfi]

5 december vandaag, Sinterklaas gaat dr op uit met zn pieten.. gratis pepernoten zijn nooit weg ^^

 

[valerus]

haha nice one

 

[Thorshammer]

That was the best poem I've read, ever.

 

[Brun Bjørn]

really nice ;D

 

[Tyra]

OK, that's it. I'm forsaking this godforsaken country and moving somewhere better:
B.C.'s small but proud Scandinavian community has a reputation for being even-tempered and easygoing.

That could all change this Christmas.

That's because, for the first time in living memory, akvavit -- a distilled spirit that has been a Nordic holiday tradition for centuries -- is no longer for sale in this province.

See link for full story
Story | Vancouver Sun
4fa9-9c9b-9e72e72e89ae&k=83602

 

[Bates]

Wow, that sucks.... that's the only good part about the when I have to do holidays with the in-laws.

"It's a full caraway flavour with a lot of burn to it," said Max Augustin, 56, who moved to Vancouver from Denmark at age 10. "You cannot drink this stuff warm. You cannot drink this stuff mixed with 7Up or anything like that. It will just kill you. It's horrendous what it will do to you."

That totally describes my first experience with it. It wasn't quite cold enough, I guess. hehe


And... d'oh.

It turns out the Danish company that makes the drink, De Danske Spritfabrikker, was bought out by Swedish spirits giant V&S in 1999.

In 2005, to cut costs, the company began halting exports to several smaller markets -- including Canada.

 

[Runesinger]

OK, that's it. I'm forsaking this godforsaken country and moving somewhere better
B.C.'s small but proud Scandinavian community has a reputation for being even-tempered and easygoing.

That could all change this Christmas.

That's because, for the first time in living memory, akvavit -- a distilled spirit that has been a Nordic holiday tradition for centuries -- is no longer for sale in this province.

See link for full story
Story | Vancouver Sun
4fa9-9c9b-9e72e72e89ae&k=83602

Wow! Isn't this a major violation of human rights???

I just hung the holly in all my windows and a big holly wreath on the door to keep the bale-worms away. I've got a big log already to burn tomorrow night.

Glad Yule to all!

Runesinger

 

[Tyra]

Wow! Isn't this a major violation of human rights???
Runesinger

Yes, it is! It's also a disaster. Mind you, with friends that make mead like yours, I don't suppose I should worry too much. Besides, there's always OP Anderssen.

To everyone else: Meet the Grand Dame of meadmaking, Blue Ribbon Price Winner at the fair, Miss Runesinger. Nobody makes mead like her.

 

[Bates]

That is one thing I have never had

 

[Tyra]

What, mead? Well, the stuff you get in the store isn't anything like the stuff that people like Runesinger and I make at home, and it most certainly isn't anything like the stuff they made in the Iron Age. They made theirs in open vats, it was thick and black and full of seeds etc. Probably a fly or two aswell. That's why they used a special kind of ladle to scoop it out, so that the crud stayed in the ladle. Anyhow, it's not very difficult to make. Use the internal serch engine, cuz I think we've dicussed roughly how to make it before on this forum.

Hey, Runesinger, have you ever tasted any of Mike Mohilo's mead? It comes highly recommended. He usually brings some to the Althing and to the SCA events. He also makes ale, which I hear is very good. Judging from Lyle's head the day after the war, he is not very stingy with it, either. How very Norse of him, huh? He's done some good mead and beer making classes at the thing. Lyle actually paid attention to those classes...

 

[Bates]

My various attempts at making beverages have never resulted in anything drinkable. Give me meat and fire, and I can do some good.