album reviews, quick and to the point pt. 2

Cythraul

Active Member
Dec 10, 2003
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Ophiolatry – Anti-Evangelistic Process: You know you’re in for a treat when the band members look like Grade A scumbags. One of the guys even has an inverted pentagram tattooed on his forehead (which raises the eternal question “What does his boss at Cinnabon think about that?”) Joking aside, Ophiolatry plays an interesting kind of brutal, technical death metal. Sure, this stuff is extremely blasturbatory, but the music is actually interesting. Imagine what Igor Stravinsky’s Rite of Spring would sound like if Stravinsky worshipped Beelzebub and had an electric guitar and you’ll have a rough approximation of what this stuff is like.

Impureza – Inquisition Demos: Sure, you might think that death metal meets flamenco sounds like a pretty weird idea, but ask yourself this: Is there anything more metal than the Phrygian mode?

Artillery – By Inheritance: From now on this is the album that I will play for people when I feel like demonstrating why metal riffing is superior to all other forms of riffing. These riffs are supreme. Play this album when you’re slaughtering falses. Play it when you’re drinking beer in your truck. Throw it on when your grandmother comes to town. Do not play this album if you have a trend haircut or pants that don’t fit correctly. If you don’t like this album, you’re probably a furry.

Destroyer 666 – Phoenix Rising: This album is worth getting just for the track “I Am the Wargod (Ode to the Battle Slain)”. Seriously, that shit is epic. Plus, how could a band with the name “Destroyer 666” not kick obscene amounts of ass?

Swordmaster – Postmortem Tales: This is one of those albums that came out as part of that first wave of retro thrash back in the late 90s. Most of that stuff is ridiculous, and so is this. However, on a certain level it is awesome. It’s noisy, unrelenting, almost annoying at times, and it boasts such gems of modern lyricism as “Iron chains and colossal chaos – enslaving for the power of death. Evoke the evolution – now draped in sharp thorns of metal.” Seriously, what the hell does that shit even mean? This album is just what you need for those times when you’re desecrating your local graveyards and crushing your local posers.

Ceremonium – No Longer Silent: Ceremonium is a cult death metal act out of New York with a strong doom metal influence. This band has never achieved the recognition they deserve, but that’s not surprising; one’s mind must be well-attuned to subtlety in order to appreciate such stuff (that’s why I appreciate it). No Longer Silent is a lot less doom-oriented than its predecessor, but the doom influence is still conspicuous. There are plenty of particularly atmospheric bits that make me cream in my pantaloons. So kindly insert your Dave Matthews cd into your rear end and listen to something good for once, like this album.