Nothing to take seriously, it's just beyond me how anyone can hate something so much and still write an entire essay wasting their time.
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This doesn't deserve a 90. Really, it deserves about a 77, because if it were Marshall Law or someone that put this out, it would be a decent 80s metal album, except too short and with slightly overslick production. But I'm gonna give this a 90 anyway, just so it can be over 70 points better than fucking Opeth.
FUCK OPETH!!! FUCK their pretense. FUCK their asininity. FUCK their inability to fucken rock hard. And FUCK the fact that this is a joke band and this pretty much owns the living donkey dickfuck cockrape out of anything that that bunch of cunt-rats ever managed to do.
Yeah, fuck them. And fuck their idiotic badmouthing of this genre of metal. Fuck the fact that this is about as classic and balls-out as it gets, and heavy fucking metal SHOULD sound this way, by definition, and not that modern tripe that masquerades as 'metal' but is more pussy than old Tom's mates and progeny... FUCK Opeth. Stupid bunch of pretentious gaywads that decided to say in an interview "well, Hammerfall did this too, and took it seriously".
You fucking know why? Because THIS is what heavy metal is all about. Fuck the pretenders. Fuck the fact that they dismiss this, because they're too young or impressionable or stupid or whatthefucknot, but enough with this charade where Opeth are labelled the masters of 'progressive' 'death' 'metal' when they are none of the motherfucking above.
WATCHTOWER pwn you.
POSSESSED pwn you.
JUDAS FUCKING PRIEST pwn you.
And yes, even STEEL pwns you.
Opeth, you bunch of stupid shitheaded cunts. Metal is not about growing cheesy moustaches, wearing berets, sitting around drinking wine, wearing high heels, staring at a bunch of rectangles on a piece of paper and admiring how awesome an example of modern art it is, smoking thin cigarettes through your nose and meditating on the virtues of black and white photography in subdued voices. FUCK THAT. Do you dare, do you dare?? Apparently, once you did.
THIS is the most brilliant thing you've ever done. Forget going for brilliance, because you have achieved it. I had thought you were just a bunch of morons that couldn't write a song to save your worthless lives. But no, you are worse. You just ENJOY pretending to be all snooty and idiotic and filled with drivel, even though you could actually write something that makes fucking sense.
It's not that you had no balls... you purposely cut them off!! I defecate on you repeatedly and watch your value increase! Cunts!
FUCK OFF NOWADAYS BULLSHIT LABELLED 'METAL'. Steel rocks. Fans of WASP, Skid Row, even old Virgin Steele... check it out. Don't hurl too hard when you realise what bunch of stupid poseurs came up with this.
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This doesn't deserve a 90. Really, it deserves about a 77, because if it were Marshall Law or someone that put this out, it would be a decent 80s metal album, except too short and with slightly overslick production. But I'm gonna give this a 90 anyway, just so it can be over 70 points better than fucking Opeth.
FUCK OPETH!!! FUCK their pretense. FUCK their asininity. FUCK their inability to fucken rock hard. And FUCK the fact that this is a joke band and this pretty much owns the living donkey dickfuck cockrape out of anything that that bunch of cunt-rats ever managed to do.
Yeah, fuck them. And fuck their idiotic badmouthing of this genre of metal. Fuck the fact that this is about as classic and balls-out as it gets, and heavy fucking metal SHOULD sound this way, by definition, and not that modern tripe that masquerades as 'metal' but is more pussy than old Tom's mates and progeny... FUCK Opeth. Stupid bunch of pretentious gaywads that decided to say in an interview "well, Hammerfall did this too, and took it seriously".
You fucking know why? Because THIS is what heavy metal is all about. Fuck the pretenders. Fuck the fact that they dismiss this, because they're too young or impressionable or stupid or whatthefucknot, but enough with this charade where Opeth are labelled the masters of 'progressive' 'death' 'metal' when they are none of the motherfucking above.
WATCHTOWER pwn you.
POSSESSED pwn you.
JUDAS FUCKING PRIEST pwn you.
And yes, even STEEL pwns you.
Opeth, you bunch of stupid shitheaded cunts. Metal is not about growing cheesy moustaches, wearing berets, sitting around drinking wine, wearing high heels, staring at a bunch of rectangles on a piece of paper and admiring how awesome an example of modern art it is, smoking thin cigarettes through your nose and meditating on the virtues of black and white photography in subdued voices. FUCK THAT. Do you dare, do you dare?? Apparently, once you did.
THIS is the most brilliant thing you've ever done. Forget going for brilliance, because you have achieved it. I had thought you were just a bunch of morons that couldn't write a song to save your worthless lives. But no, you are worse. You just ENJOY pretending to be all snooty and idiotic and filled with drivel, even though you could actually write something that makes fucking sense.
It's not that you had no balls... you purposely cut them off!! I defecate on you repeatedly and watch your value increase! Cunts!
FUCK OFF NOWADAYS BULLSHIT LABELLED 'METAL'. Steel rocks. Fans of WASP, Skid Row, even old Virgin Steele... check it out. Don't hurl too hard when you realise what bunch of stupid poseurs came up with this.
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