The scariest thing to remember is that Romney was the very best the GOP had to offer, as far as they thought. Can you imagine any of the other candidates from the primary against Obama in this one? Santorum, Perry, Bachmann? Jesus Christ... That party has some serious re-thinking to do. If I were in charge I'd immediately disassociate from the evangelical right, take the voter hit, and spend the next 2 election cycles re-tooling the party into a socially moderate, fiscally conservative party that actually can stand by the 'conservative' title and steal independent/moderate Dem votes in the process. The Christian Right is holding back the party, this country, and humanity as a whole.
While I'm certainly on board with you in the belief that there must be a separation of state and church in some fashion for the GOP to make themselves a bigger tent endeavor (I'm very much a keep your religion out of my government and I'll keep my government out of your religion), I think the underlying problem, while possibly relating to deep seeded religious beliefs, has been a denial of evolution - not just in the biblical sense, but in the way of a simple denial that America's makeup has changed, societal views have changed.
It's like they took a snapshot of America in the 50's and assumed it would always stay that way - that as a society our views would never evolve (in the non biblical sense), that our racial makeup and long held views of peoples places in the structure of society were simply the way things were supposed to be. This is not the denial of evolution in the Genesis sense, it's a denial that society adapts to the realities around it - that peoples views on things once thought out of place can be seen as normal human behavior.
You could kick out the religious right and you would still have societal evolution deniers dragging the party to stay with a vision of America that just doesn't jibe with reality. Even their world view is that of the past. Neo-Cons look to spread democracy through the world as long as the free elections they strive for elect the leaders that align themselves with conservative beliefs. They deny the tribal nature of many societies with thousands of years of inner conflict and think if the people are simply given the choice to vote all that will go away - once again denying the evolution of societies, the simple fact that no change happens overnight - old enemies simply don't become friends if a "majority" votes them into power. The right to vote is simply the first step in a long line of changes freedom brings.
Related to presented belief in democracy the GOP states, but conflicting message they send supporting the "will of the people", we saw the way they deal with reality in this last election. In 2008 a large percentage of minority and underprivileged voters turned out to support the election of President Obama - they clearly saw that reality (surprise surprise), but there reaction was not to craft a policy/position that would draw that electorate to their views, to possibly adapt/evolve to make that tent bigger. No - the choice they made was to suppress the vote by using the clear advantage they held in many state houses to enact voter ID laws for supposed voter fraud issues. In person voter fraud accounted for 1 case for every 15 million votes (10 cases since year 2000). Is it coincidental that the states that sought voter ID laws were overwhelmingly lead by GOP governors? Fortunately subsequent legal challenges overturned or at a minimum delayed the implementation of these laws as they would adversely effect minority and underprivileged voters. Once again - deny the makeup of the electorate and protect the "image" they perceive the country to be built upon. No effort to make the tent bigger - just to make it so a certain population has no involvement in who gets elected and represented.
Too many conservatives simply want too much of the population to see the world as they see it. The refuse to come to grips with the fact that different people hold different views and unfortunately this refusal taints their ability to recognize the areas where people can agree.
After this election it's been interesting listening to all the "what went wrong" stories surfacing with suggestions on what needs to change. Many of them seem to think they can just make the tent bigger but still include the fringe (right wing extreme punditry crowd - Rush and Glenn Beck listeners) by simply not saying what they think - taking a "don't ask don't tell view" on social issues. They seem to think they can have the cake and eat it too - generally going back to that snapshot of the 50's where as long as it was not spoken about we can just pretend it's not relevant to the populaces choice. I've seen several conservative "luminaries" thinking it's as simple as simply not talking about the social issues and we'll stop the belief that they are the party of crazy. <wink, wink, nudge, nudge - say no more say, no more>. Once again - the belief that societal evolution does not occur if we don't talk about it. They seem to think it's the "talking about it" that get's them in trouble instead of the "thinking about it".
I'm all for a fiscally conservative party that see's the country for what it is - made up of people with differing views, all entitled to the same protections as US citizens regardless of religion, sex, race, creed, sexual orientation,... one that leaves choices best left to individuals out of the legality/illegality sphere. I know I may sound like a bit of a libertarian, but I only dabble down that path so far as I do think regulation can be a critical part of ensuring a safe society. I'm not comfortable with the whole "a completely free market will self regulate itself" type thinking when it comes to both personal safety and financial well being. I'm also a bit of a "takes a village" type person that feels while individual effort can certainly bring success - no one does it without the help of others (whether acknowledged or not). Even with free will we sometimes make the wrong choices and hopefully someone else helps pull us up.
The problems the GOP has is much larger than just the religious right. It's rooted in a vision of the past they hold dear.
As always - individual mileage may vary. Always willing to debate topics with reasonable people - we both might learn something.