apparently i am a "molester" when im sleeping

[20Mg]

My wife just told me that ive been constantly "molesting" her in my sleep..
she sometimes woke up finding me "tuning" her nipples like a radio knob and rubbing her panties.. sometimes i even poke her back with my semi-erect penis. Fucktup thing is i have no memory of doing it AT ALL. Nada. As far as i know i slept like a corpses. Tell me im not the only one PLS.

 

[mick thompson]

WTF man - why are you posting this? keep this stuff to yourself and tape yourself one night when you sleep - she's prob bullshitting you

 

[JBroll]

"tuning" her nipples like a radio knob

Anyone else thinking this will make a horrible studio prank sometime very soon?

Jeff

 

[mick thompson]

Anyone else thinking this will make a horrible studio prank sometime very soon?

Jeff

lol - "more gain please! crank it right up to 11!"

 

[JBroll]

"You're a bit... *flat*. Let's see if we can get you a bit more... *perky*..."

[cue porn soundtrack]

...

["Erm, what the fuck?"
"What? What?"
"I'm a fucking *bassist*. You're grabbing my nipples. Porn music is going off in the background. Just what the fuck are you thinking?"
"... oh, shit, that's right... I was supposed to use that one on an attractive female singer with poor pitch control..."]

Jeff

 

[mick thompson]

hahahahaha im loving the porno music cue! bom chicka wa wa - funky bass and a rocking moaning wah - the poor bassist wouldn't know what to do with himself!

 

[slayercannibalsuffohead]

Got the same problem, except it doesnt happen when I'm sleeping.

 

[narcossintese]

I would hate to tour with you.

 

[Unavailable]

Lol, I do the exact same thing to my gf.

 

[Episteme]

First post ever in this forum, and it's in a strange thread!

On a more serious note though, there is such a sleep disorder. It's called sleepsex or sexsomnia http://www.sleepsex.org/ has some information on it.

This girl that I'm currently seeing told me that her ex boyfriend had serious sexsomnia issues and it was almost disturbing sometimes because he would wake up midway and have no recollection whatsoever.

 

[TravisW]

I used to be a sleepwalker and sleephumper before I got my CPAP mask. Now I have to con my way into sex like every other married man.

 

[20Mg]

First post ever in this forum, and it's in a strange thread!

On a more serious note though, there is such a sleep disorder. It's called sleepsex or sexsomnia http://www.sleepsex.org/ has some information on it.

This girl that I'm currently seeing told me that her ex boyfriend had serious sexsomnia issues and it was almost disturbing sometimes because he would wake up midway and have no recollection whatsoever.

i knew it. its an disorder. Wish my girl was like that instead.

 

[Glenn Fricker]

I roll around an awful lot. One night, I elbowed the wife in the head so hard it even woke me up!

 

[Narissa]

my fiance has done that to me in his sleep. except it went all the way... and he woke up during. lol but went with it. lol

then again, he screams, sings, and hits in his sleep too. lol

 

[EerieVon]

Thats the excuse I have given my wife--geez honey I didnt realize I was doing that--I musta been asleep or something

 

[Soundlurker]

I roll around an awful lot. One night, I elbowed the wife in the head so hard it even woke me up!

One night my girlfriend's grandfather apparently woke her grandmother up with a powerful kick from behind, yelling GOOAL!!

 

[Torniojaws]

Imagine Chuck Norris' wife in that situation

 

[Last_Confession]

instant death but chuck norris doesn't sleep man, he simply waits

 

[Harry Hughes]

I'm not sure if I'm meant to laugh at the original post or not

 

[Mancha]

Tuning the knobs is cool ...
When you start using outboard gear in your sleep, your wife is gonna be reeeeaaaaly displeased