Apply here if you're interested in ROBBING A BANK

Guerrilla

Holy shit.
Aug 27, 2002
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For a while now, I've been toying with the idea of robbing a bank. I believe I have more brains than many of the people that rob banks and get away with it, so I'm willing to take the risk and walk away with some serious cash or in the unlikely event I get caught, go to jail for a few years.

I need however a team to help me out with this, so if anyone here is interested in some quick cash to buy a nice new car or some sweet custom guitar or something this is your chance.
I'm thinking about the robbery taking place this summer in Los Angeles, in North Hollywood. Now, if you're from around that area, don't bother applying, we don't need anybody recognizing you. You'll have to pay for your own airplane tickets, or train or bus tickets, or whatever to LA. DO NOT drive your own cars to LA.

I'm looking for 3 more people, making a total of four, with 1 being the getaway driver, which will be in the car at all times, and the other 3 taking care of the bank.

I haven't picked out a bank yet but it will be a central branch, with lots of roads nearby with as little traffic as possible, to increase the chances of a fast and clean getaway.

This will be an armed robbery, so if you're not comfortable with firing a gun, no need to apply. Even the driver might be required to use one. The plan is not to kill anybody unless it is absolutely necessary. If you're the type of person that in a shootout with the securicops tries to aim at their shoulders or legs, no need to apply. If you're really good with a gun, that's ok but if you're an amateur, there's no need to waste time trying to shoot them somewhere where it won't kill them. In anycase, we will try to do our best to avoid any sort of conflict besides the initial charge in the bank and the taking care of the security guys.

We'll all need to be in LA a good month and a half before the actual robbery. This will give us time to study the bank, both interior and exterior, note the position of security guys, plan out escape routes etc, as well as get our hands on some guns. We'll have to steal the getaway vehicle, as well as two more vehicles which we will use after we dump the hot getaway car. We’ll also have to steal license plates to put on the three stolen vehicles, etc.

Rest assured that the whole operation will be well thought out, with attention to detail and with our safe escape first in mind.

Each one of us will have to chip in $1000 to get started.

So in conclusion, I need 3 people, 1 to be the getaway driver and 2 to come in the bank with me. I'd prefer if all 3 were males. A female will only attract unnecessary attention and also lacks the physical strength and speed of a male. The driver should know his cars well, how to get in one, how to hotwire one, etc. The persons going in the bank need to be able to make important decisions in a moment’s notice. They need to be assertive, not hesitate to hurt whoever doesn’t obey their orders. As said above, the plan is to not kill anybody but those who apply must feel no remorse in case something goes wrong and a copper gets his brains blown out.

If you think you qualify and have everything I’m looking for, go ahead and reply and write down your personality type, any previous criminal experience, and why you are interested in robbing a bank.



The money will be split evenly between the four of us, each one will get 25% of whatever we get away with. This goes to show how much I appreciate the help of whoever joins me and to show that everyone, no matter what their job is, is equally important to the operation. Threatening with a gun or shooting a team member to steal his share WILL NOT be tolerated. You MUST NOT hesitate to IMMEDIATELY shoot any team member who points a gun at you making such threats, even if he appears to be joking. There is NO WAY to know if he means it or not, so you must do what you have to do. I cannot stress enough how important it is to NOT joke around about such issues. The last thing we want is after a clean getaway, with no casualties, a team member to end up with a bullet between his eyes cause he cracked a joke about our shares of the money.

This is a great opportunity for anyone who wants to make some quick cash to buy some sweet stuff, or pay off their credit companies, or just wants to make enough cash to be able to not have to work for a few months and just go chill out someplace warm. Go ahead and post a reply, and if I’m interested in you, I’ll pm you and we can call each other up and get to know each other better.
 
This is hilarious, but i'm sure the fbi is watching you now. I hope you get away, despite the fact that this attempted heist seems to be something out of Heat the movie. I think you need to be a bit smarter and pull of more of a inside job type thing. I think you need to watch a few more movies- Like the bank robbery in Thunderball and Lightfoot, or Bandits, or even shaving a few pennies like they did in office space.
 
Guerrilla said:

This is a great opportunity for anyone who wants to make some quick cash to buy some sweet stuff, or pay off their credit companies, or just wants to make enough cash to be able to not have to work for a few months and just go chill out someplace warm.
uhm...well in either way you will NOT work for a while :lol:
 
I was thinking about this...and got wondering...in general I mean, what´s the odds of getting away with a robbery??

not that I`m interested but just curiouse ;)
because it´s not like the banks doesnt have experience with this kind of events, and the security must be quite massive, and if you actually manage to get some money out, dont they have like a colour bomb on them?? like this *pof* *all money turns green* :lol:
heks.gif
 
ante said:
I was thinking about this...and got wondering...in general I mean, what´s the odds of getting away with a robbery??

not that I`m interested but just curiouse ;)
because it´s not like the banks doesnt have experience with this kind of events, and the security must be quite massive, and if you actually manage to get some money out, dont they have like a colour bomb on them?? like this *pof* *all money turns green* :lol:
heks.gif
Well, the security at the bank generally isn't a big problem, as you can immobilize them immediately when you go in. The problem is that there are alarm buttons everywhere, and it's very easy to trip an alarm and you got the cops coming for you. That's why you need to rehearse everything beforehand, each guy needs to know exactly where he's gonna go and what he's gonna do, to minimize the time you're gonna actually be in the bank.

As far as paint bombs go, I guess they could slip one in your bag as they load the money, so you just have to be there with them as they load the money, observing every move they make. Or, don't let them touch the money or your bags, and do it all by yourself. That's gonna take a while though.

And what's the problem with posting this on a public forum? You think the feds are gonna stake out every bank in North Hollywood for the whole summer? Or that after the robbery, they'll come back here looking for my ip? Well go ahead, prove I did it then, hahaha.
I posted this here, cause I need a team of random guys, and I know I can trust the personalities and skills of my fellow metalheads who fart around all day, acting like clowns to amuse people on this board. All in all, I'd prefer if my team were made up of death metallers though.
 
Guerrilla said:
As far as paint bombs go, I guess they could slip one in your bag as they load the money, so you just have to be there with them as they load the money, observing every move they make. Or, don't let them touch the money or your bags, and do it all by yourself. That's gonna take a while though.
pfft. amateur bank robbers think they can think of everything. they don't know shit.

find a bank without a glass shield. then make them hand over the money, then put it in the damn bag yourself. make them give you the ink bombs in a seperate bag.