attn: yasser

[goatschool]

teenage british girl (fake accent) and thug dude come to the door just now and try to sell magazine subscriptions so they can go to cancun.

girl: "ever been there?"

me: "can't say i have"

her: "haha neither have we, that's why blah blah blah"

me: "yeah, see, i'm really not interested. no one in this house reads, either"

her: "oh well you don't have to read, they have pictures"

thug kid (with seriously concerned psuedo-intellectual look): "hmm... really? you don't read? why don't you read?"

me: "we're illiterate"

thug kid: ...

girl: "it means they can't read. they don't know how"

thug kid: "errr if you know what that word means, you read"

me: ...

thug: "i'm on to your game. i know you're fronting me. i know. hahaahahaha i'm just fuckin with you dude"

at which point i directed them to the jew house next door and said they'd buy.

 

[Yasser Arafat]

 

[mousewings]

I'm not Yasser, but...


Haha, I hate it when people go door to door and ask for donations, try to sell subscriptions, etc. Don't they see I'm in the middle of sewing or doing something important.

In our household, we say we hate to read. This is true for my mother. She admitted she hated school and hates reading books. It's wonderous how I graduated college with that kind of role model.

 

[Greg B.]

Comcast sent a salesperson into the neighborhood. She saw the Direct TV dish from the former tenants. What I saw was my cats getting ready to sneak out the moment she blocked the then open door

girl: Do you have Comcast?
me: yes. Cable and Internet. Buh-by..
girl: Are they supposed to get out?
me: Since the door you came through doesn't actually close and leads out to the street, no. Excuse me.
(girl keeps door firmly open)
girl: I heard the noise downstairs. I see it's music. This is a nice place. It just sounded weird because you don't have anything in here yet and...
me: ANNABELLE! GET UP HERE NOW! Good girl! Come on in, honey.
(I look around frantically for signs of my younger cat Gus, finally squatting down and peering under an end table in the hall)
girl: I like music too. That's what's so great about Comcast High Speed Internet (R). You can download so fast off things like Kazaa.
me: GUS! GET OUT OF TH... wait did you just say download off kazaa?
girl: Yes! Why you can...
me: That's illegal.
girl: eh-lee-gull?
me: Against the law. Napster lawsuit? RIAA suing everybody under the sun? ACLU flipping out on Comcast for handing over customer info when asked? Music piracy?
girl: . . .
me: oookay. I've got my cats. Bye!

 

[Autumn Falls]

We've had a few of the magazine sellers coming door to door recently telling us how they need points to go to Mexico. Depending on who we send to talk to them it can be quite annoying or quite funny.

Brandon

 

[goatschool]

I'm not Yasser, but...

gahhh

Haha, I hate it when people go door to door and ask for donations, try to sell subscriptions, etc. Don't they see I'm in the middle of sewing or doing something important.

i wonder if people with cancun on the brain know what sewing is. or why that ear belongs on the back of that rat.

In our household, we say we hate to read. This is true for my mother. She admitted she hated school and hates reading books. It's wonderous how I graduated college with that kind of role model.

i never bought a textbook during my last two years of college.

i picked minxnim's brain, instead.