I really enjoyed your song in the most parts. The keyboard added a lot to the heavy parts of the song, which are the ones that I liked the most. The fastest parts, which is kind of a chorus (Can we call that a chorus ? At least, it is played twice in the song) bothered me a bit. I think it should have been more progressive, bringing people into that ambience that you've set up quite well in the beginning. It's my opinion though !! Oh yeah and I think the screams should have been a bit louder, it sounds like you're a mile away from the mic !!
Overall i would give an 8 out of 10 for your song. Real good mix of heavy metal, death, and ambient that worth the listen.