Best review of a Power Metal album EVER!!!!

[GateXII]

http://www.bravewords.com/hardwares/1001341


Text:

POWER QUEST

Master Of Illusion

(Napalm)

Reviewed by : Martin Popoff
Rating : 3.5

Not sure why UK bands struggle with power metal. You’d think it would be a natural, given ancient history and the more recent NWOBHM, yet here’s another saccharine keyboard-popped act turning in cliché after cliché, from the cover art through the band and record title, into every pore of the music. The production is appropriately prissy, with staccato guitars massaged in as rhythm support to those clean, clear vocals and attendant Sonata/Bodom keyboard tones. It’s over hill and dale with a spring in your step, off to the medieval fair, for a joust and a swing ‘round the maypole. Zero desire to live in the real world here, and zero desire to carve out any fresh spot in the dungeon and dragons realm in which the band is caged, frilly sleeves fraying. Yeah, granted, I can only tolerate pi percent of the power metal pie, but even earnest fans of the genre would have a hard time finding interesting elements to this, save for a thorough demonstration of synth settings.



Damn...that's some funny shit!!

 

[Will Bozarth]

that RULES!

 

[The_Q]

I don't hold anything Martin Popoff writes or thinks as anything valid anymore. I met him and he's a pompous, arrogant, loudmouth prick. He thinks his opinions are the only opinions as well. I happen to like the new Powerquest album. Martin Popoff is a tool!

 

[GateXII]

Regardless of what anyone thinks of Martin...this review echoes pretty much exactly what all Power Metal "haters" think of the genre...which is what makes it hilarious!!!

It's just unfortunate for Power Quest that they were on the receiving end of this one.

 

[Symphony]

Interesting....hehe! But medieval? dungeons and dragons?

 

[booB]

It's kind of a bummer... because there are plenty of power metal bands that don't have that prissy, happy-go-lucky sound. Yet, they all get lumped into the same genre. That's why I split the genre into two sub-genres: dark power metal, and happy metal.

 

[GateXII]

It's kind of a bummer... because there are plenty of power metal bands that don't have that prissy, happy-go-lucky sound. Yet, they all get lumped into the same genre. That's why I split the genre into two sub-genres: dark power metal, and happy metal.

Very true! But it's probably because the number of happy sounding power metal bands far outweigh the number of dark sounding pm bands. No?

 

[Saladbar]

I really dislike the genre tags.
Some people call Iced Earth a Power Metal band which would put them in the same category as say.....Hammerfall. I think we would all agree they are 2 totally different bands.
I can't judge a band by what they are labeled, I'm not the biggest Powermetal fan but bands like Zandelle and Rhapsody get a lot of play in my house. Dungeons and Dragons lyrics don't really bother me cause if they did Dio would not exist in my collection, and I have quite a Dio collection.

It's like totally dissing a band for having rough vocals without even listening to the whole song.

 

[ShadowLioness]

I must admit, that review was funny as hell. 95% of what gets dubbed as "Power Metal" I just can't get into. I do agree that most of it is the "happy" kind. I don't mind happy music, just sometimes not in the way certain bands present it in. ;-)

I will give everything a shot once, and sometimes I get pleasantly surprised, regardless of label.

 

[Dr. Pete]

While I disagree with the review, and mine is posted on one of the webzines I write for (see sig, I think), I do find it hilarious. I should go back to doing more of those things, just to freshen up a bit.

 

[Chris Lotesto]

good 'ol Martin....would expect nothing less....

 

[PowerMetalNerd]

Damnit.....

This article reminds me.....I have to mend my frayed puffy shirt for Opening Day at the Renaissance Faire....have to look rather stunning while frolicking around ye olde maypole and cheering for my valiant knight at thy Royal joust.

 

[Chris Lotesto]

Damnit.....

This article reminds me.....I have to mend my frayed puffy shirt for Opening Day at the Renaissance Faire....have to look rather stunning while frolicking around ye olde maypole and cheering for my valiant knight at thy Royal joust.

at first i thought you typed MANpole!!

 

[PowerMetalNerd]

at first i thought you typed MANpole!!

LOL!!!

Yeah, that too.

 

[The Wicked One]

It's kind of a bummer... because there are plenty of power metal bands that don't have that prissy, happy-go-lucky sound. Yet, they all get lumped into the same genre. That's why I split the genre into two sub-genres: dark power metal, and happy metal.

Tad Morose and Silver Cypher have that as a motto.

im sorry i love power metal, but not the happy kind.

now if youll excuse me i want to find this douche and blast When Eden Burns by Persuader in his fucking head

 

[booB]

Damnit.....

This article reminds me.....I have to mend my frayed puffy shirt for Opening Day at the Renaissance Faire....have to look rather stunning while frolicking around ye olde maypole and cheering for my valiant knight at thy Royal joust.

I think I speak for all the men on this forum when I say: "PICS PLEASE!"

Wait... did they have cameras in those days? You might just have to have someone paint you.

now if youll excuse me i want to find this douche and blast When Eden Burns by Persuader in his fucking head

Good album, but The Hunter is still their best and most powerful disc. What is this Silver Cypher of which you speak?

 

[The Wicked One]

I think I speak for all the men on this forum when I say: "PICS PLEASE!"

Wait... did they have cameras in those days? You might just have to have someone paint you.



Good album, but The Hunter is still their best and most powerful disc. What is this Silver Cypher of which you speak?

well i have all 3 persuader cds. The Hunter was a great album. I have a hard time saying which is better among the three each has their + and -. Like the song the Hunter would have too long of an outro its beautiful stuff but it needs to be a song on the side or incorporate lyrics. My life for you is like that but its a bit more fitting.
Evolution Purgatory is great for Thrashers but i missed stuff like Cursed or As You Wish.

When Eden Burns is the hybrid, it has things like Cursed and had some heavyish stuff, but it lacked the kick in the face that EP brought, I listen to either of them depending on my mood.

The Hunter (i like all the songs but these stood out the most)
Cursed
As You Wish
My Life For You
Fire At Will
Escape

Evolution Purgatory (same as hunter)
Strike Down
Sanity Soiled
Raise Hell
Turns To Dust
Masquerade

When Eden Burns(..you get the point)
Sending You Back
When Eden Burns
The Return
Slaves of Labor
Judas Immortal


btw Silver Cypher is an upcoming band from Ohio. just run around myspace.

 

[Cheiron]

I wonder if Martin had listened to the band's other albums...