I've been a loner since I was a kid, there was something freaky about me. I gave out the energy and got bullied by several kids and I got that satanic response at a young age, probably when I started school at 4 or 5. I don't remember much before the age of 12 years old but I became a Leveyan satanist knowing that I was the only one who could help myself. I didn't actually hear metal itself but the essence of the music; i.e. aggressive, solos, shredding, grunting, all appealed to me and when I first heard it, I knew I was heading in the right path. I showed the outside what I thought when I turned 7 by dressing how I like, other than listening to what my mom said. Even my Mom disowned me- I learned not to care. It was at the age of 9 I started reading spiritualism and occultism books, and started to get into practice, without any help. I was travelling alone until I met someone in April '06 who could help me, and introduced me to friends to get into metal clubs, covens, cults etc. Satanic rituals aren't a big deal if you haven't done them yourself, but it's always best to overestimate them so the outcome isn't as bad as you determined it. I've yet to burn a church, but many people here know full well of the thrill we get from the desecration of what we truely hate.