Conspiracy Theories!

A few years ago I was being monitored by the FBI who were in cohorts with certain individuals from Ultima Thule. They brainwashed my friends and tried to kill me a number of times. Failing that, they tried to make me kill myself, which they nearly succeeded in. Good times.
 
My biggest conspiracy theory:

America in her current state exists to destroy the middle class in every way, shape, and form. Medical insurance, education, gas, mortgages, and every other major cost continues to skyrocket to send the 90% of us fiercely into the bottom rung so the richers can control everything in the land. For examples, check out the 80/20 mortgages, large companies bullying employees out of medical coverage, and the ridiculous hike in university tuition. I paid around $600 a quarter for college, the price has nearly doubled over the past 5 years, and I hardly went to a prestigious school. Frankly with my career path and experience I'm pretty safe, but still. I see the younger generation getting seriously screwed, whereas I only had a rough time until I made my mark in society, or something. Jesus CHRIST I'm fucking drunk.
 
There is an occult satanist conspiracy to seperate humans from their spirituality and traditions. These occult satanists are more commonly known as "communists" or "jews".
 
I have this theory that Claws of Perdition may be somehow distantly related to me or something.
Listen to more Smashing Pumpkins goddamnit!
I am going to be hungover for my job interveiw, and it makes me happy.
 
Night Mare said:
I have this theory that Claws of Perdition may be somehow distantly related to me or something.
Listen to more Smashing Pumpkins goddamnit!
I am going to be hungover for my job interveiw, and it makes me happy.

I would like to say this is the biggest conspiracy since roswell.....you are going to be hungover i know its true im sorry.
 
Why aren't you on MSN you antisocial bastard? I am listening to Monty Python, and I wanted to tell you all about it.
And I am drinking out of a beer stein. Yehhhh.