da COPS, yo

Hell Mike

Hell Mike

fuck melodic black metal
Aug 22, 2003
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Norrland
www.nasheim.se
How often are you peeps in contact with policemen? On which side of the law? In traffic or other?

Personally, I have mostly good experiences with police officers. Last time I talked to one was when I called the cops on my previous neighbour when he was beating up his wife, AND the very same cop redirected me (and other traffic) after an accident just the week before. WEIRD!

I've been pulled over for standard traffic control stuff a few timesand even though I'm always scared shitless they've never had anything to complain about really. A few times they've been mad at me for being very drunk and stuff like that too, but always in a good way (ie telling me to shut up and go home instead of locking me up for the night, more or less).

Swedish cops are nice and good people judging from my experience, out to help and keep the streets safe and not there to boost their crappy confidence by fucking with law-abiding citizens.!

I think that's about it really. For some reason I just got curious about the RC cop statistics so tell stories and make a guess at how often you get the long arm of the law up your rectum. And if you enjoy it.
 
I've been detained 3 times, but never arrested. One incident involved 8 patrol vehicles and a helicopter. Kids will be kids! I have several good buds in L.A.P.D, but I'll readily admit that a good portion of them are douchebags/pricks. I was pulled over last month for not wearing a seat belt of all things. When I was a milksop it wasn't unusual to hop in the back of a pickup, as it did 70mph on the freeway.
 
RiA, indeed.

Usually the rookies are the dicks, but not always. Fresh cops usually are all amped up and feel that they have something to prove with their newly acquired "power." With that said, I definitely don't envy their job.

I've had a few run ins and WAY more where I have just been uber-lucky. I was nose-to-nose with a cop once saying that he can't do shit to me because I didn't do anything. Acting like a tough guy. I was an idiot when I was young.

This thread is going to spawn a lot of great stories. I can feel it already. Maybe later tonight when I come home from friends' house after mucho beers/rips and an empty wallet due to sucking at poker, I'll be inclined to share some shenanigans from my ghetto youth that I am less than proud of.
 
Aside from traffic stops, the only thing I have is from when I was 15. A friend and I made a munchie run to 7-11 because we were high as fuck. A cop nabbed us in the parking lot saying we fit the description of two dudes that had carjacked a woman. We were scared to death. Sitting in the back of the squad, chatter comes through that a witness identified one of the two black males that were being sought for the carjacking. This lady cop just sat there for a second and my friend, all cocky-like (I was still petrified) said "do you think you can fucking let us out now?!?".

Unrelated, a couple weeks later I went into rehab. Good times.
 
When I was a teen/twit/twat, some of my buddies and I found it humorous to go "egging". Halloween came in June, as we scrapped our dinards together to hit up the Circle K for some projectile induced laughs. At the end of a night in which I'm more than ashamed of today, we ended up at a local plaza where my buddy chucked one at a security vehicle. Next thing we know we're in a high speed pursuit (I've been in 4) with this security schmoe. As I did my best Mario Andretti impersonation in a Ford Escort, and eventually lost the Blart, a PD vehicle approaches from a side street. It's apparent that this sap had phoned the authorities over a little yoke. I nonchalantly switched gears and began abiding by all traffic laws. As I head on to the on ramp of the local freeway, I look in the back and notice several more PD units in slow pursuit. This all started to become surreal at this point, and all we could do was laugh at what was transpiring. I turn on the local "Ranchero" station, and my 3 cohorts and I start singing Latin hymns while now being pursued by 8 units and a bird. 4 minutes in to "ordelay ahhhhhh haha mami", lights flash and one cop gets on his Jimmy Hart megaphone demanding that I pull over, to which I readily comply. Our mirth was ephemeral, as my friend starts shitting himself at the realization that his pops, a former decorated PD officer is going to become privy to his hijinks. Myself and whoever was riding shotty get out of the vehicle, and lay on the ground prone, as the bird above beams a light which would scare the snot out of Scotty. At this juncture the cops are yelling at my friends who are in the back seat to get out of the vehicle. "Come out of the car, lets see your hands." My friend retorts, "I can't, the child safety is on!". The pigs approached, opened the vehicle, grab the one friend by the scruff of the neck, and slammed him hard to the asphalt, where I hear his utterances of agony at my aft. One of the doughboys goes through the vehicle, then proceeds to runs my license. 5 minutes later, after some brief questioning we were free to go. We admitted that we egged the security van, sincerely apologized, and counted our lucky chickens we weren't going to have to explain this idiocy to our families. I had a pretty fucked up childhood, and instead of doing drugs like my dear old Mom, Pop, Uncle, and every local biker/junkie who would show up at my childhood home, this type of stupidity was my release.

In conclusion, the cops didn't give a shit about the egg, we were all minors, and the reason they were in hot pursuit was that they thought the car was stolen.



More stories later/tomorrow.
 
this thread...these stories....hilarious

I'm too lazy to post anything specific but I'm somewhat notorious for *calling* the cops. I know I mentioned somewhere around here about the time last summer when the guy got out of his car in the middle of the street to threaten me. There's lots of other examples. More so if you count my mere suggestions to other people to notify the police.
 
9/11 watched with the 2nd tower get hit on TV with a couple of them.
was actually in a minor fender bender that morning before the chaos started and they were doing my paperwork in the street.
next thing I am in someone's house with them watching TV and them turning white.

other numerous times pulled over for spot checks in the middle of the night, of course me with booze on my breath. miraculously bullshited my way pas them every time.
 
Got really drunk a few years back, was drinking on the curb of my friends apartment complex. I really had to take a piss and I didn't think I could make it upstairs so I unloaded in an air conditioning unit. 6 or so 17-18 year old nignogs accosted me, having seen the act. They got off of their little thugged-out bicycles and approached me. I assume because I look quite young they thought they could best me or maybe get some money out of me. At this point I was absolutely hammered so I start screaming maniacally at these kids and they are absolutely puzzled as to my actions. I then took the bottle of Blue Moon in my hand and try to break it on the ground. Well, that glass is quite a bit thicker than most other cheap beer, so on my second attempt I bust it open and it shatters and destroys my hand. Well at that point I'm probably looking pretty crazy. My right side is covered in blood and I throw the broken pieces of bottle in my hand at one of the kids and try to rush him down. They start running for their lives at this point (probably think I'm a crackhead, as there are plenty of those in this town.) After putting my dick back in my pants, I decide to call it a night and walk home. On my way I see them coming back with one of the biggest dudes I've ever seen. He's obviously an ex-con or does a great impersonation of one. Dude comes up to me screaming nonsense. I think, okay I can do one of two things: I can get my ass beat trying to get out of this, or I can try to hurt this dude as much as I can and as quickly (you know, go for the throat, etc.) Right as I'm about to do my best to get at this guy about 6 cops pull up and surround us. I was surprised at the fact that they drew their guns immediately. I'm immediately cuffed but treated quite well. The cops see a bloodied up 5'6, 120lb white dude and they see about 5-6 black teenagers and a hulk-sized monster. After getting the stories from both of us, they're pretty sure I'm well beyond the limit and they haul me off. On the way to jail I talk it up with the cop, pretty awesome guy. He knocked my charge down to a PI (it could have been 10x worse.) and put me in my own tank to sober up. Luckily the morning jailer works for my father, so I got let out at around 5am only to see my father laughing his ass off. I then worked a 7-6 shift at the fundraising office I used to administer. Worst. Hangover. Ever. That was also the last time I started the night out with four-loko. Caffeine and beer are dangerous, obviously.
 
Here's a dealing with an off duty copper. About 10 years ago (I'm getting old), I went with my mother and my little brother to a local haunted house shindig. We had parked the jalopy across the street at a mini-mart area. As we were about to cross I saw a Mexican lad who bore a resemblance to a good pal of mine, so I shouted out to him. My greeting had fallen on deaf ears, but was answered in mockery by a piss ant who was rolling with two "cool guy" compadres. What I believed I heard was a reiteration of the name I had uttered dressed up with a snide inflection. I still wasn't quite certain what I had heard, all I knew was that I didn't like it, and I wasn't in the most mirthful of moods. We crossed the street and I wrote off this perceived slight as another lesson on why humanity needs to be shackled to the bottom of the Pacific. As we headed to the back of the line, I see these three arseholes at the very front, (obviously they had cut), and took it upon myself to get to the bottom of the perceived affrontation. I approached the lad who echoed my call, and kindly asked him if he was mocking me. "Were you mocking me?" He retorts, "Was I mocking you? I come back, "Yes, were you mocking me?" He snidely replies, "What if I was?" It was at this point where I clock him in the face ala Bob Probert, grab the hood of his sweater, pull it over his face, and deliver repeated shots to his cranium. A good 12 seconds in I feel a tug from behind. A rather larger off duty cop working security for the haunted house, tells me to get the fuck out of Dodge and don't return.
 
i have not really had any encounters with police worth mentioning

i have been chased by police on foot and gotten away, once when i was like 14 years old and were caught red handed haxxing a payphone

i was pulled over by police on the first day i had my driver's license and was told it's okay to drive 90 on 90 roads even if there's a cop car behind you (i had been driving too slowly because i was nervous as hell)

one of them poured my beer out once because i was drinking beer in a park where you can't drink beer

otherwise, nothing


Hell Mike said:
Swedish cops are nice and good people judging from my experience, out to help and keep the streets safe and not there to boost their crappy confidence by fucking with law-abiding citizens.!
Click to expand...

i think the niceness and goodness is inversely proportional to the number of assholes they have to deal with on a daily basis so i (would) have a pronounced mistrust in police in stockholm, malmö etc, but in nordmaling -- sure
 
I've been pulled over once for speeding. Random breath tested a couple of times. The speeding was the only fine I've received. Apart from that, never had anything to do with the cops. I was lucky, 'cause I was a fair cunt of a kid back in the day myself.
 
pretty much one or two times, other than a couple of speeding tickets and the like

Once I almost got busted for smoking weed by a cop but I denied it and he didn't bug me any further.

Other time I was walking home, kinda drunk, from a friend's apartment and two young cops stopped me and claimed someone in the area had reported a suspicious person. I told them I was just walking home from a friend's apartment and that I hadn't done anything to warrant suspicion but they insisted on forcing me into their squad car and trying to get me to rat out friends who dealt drugs or some similar thing. I bullshitted them for a while and eventually they gave me a ride home, took my open container of vodka for which they gave me a $60 ticket. Total bullshit, but in the end, fuck all :lol:
 
Matt you just reminded me of a positive dealing with the Five-O. In '03 I was minding my own business on a bus on my way home from work. I was sitting near the front ala Rosa Parks, listening to Nevermore on my discman. A couple blocks in to my travels, I peer up, and some white trash faggot is staring a hole through me. I remove my headphones, and kindly ask the piss ant, "Can I help you?" This milksop retorts, "Yea, why you staring at my friend?" To such violation of his pal's person, I sat oblivious. I stood up, and kindly told him, "I wasn't looking at your faggot boyfriend, this is a bus, and I'm not going to divert my eyes for anybody's sake." Though, I'm sure more expletives were uttered. So we're at a stand off, nose to nose & nose on a heavily packed bus during rush hour. Within moments, the bus pulls to the side. I'm thinking we're going to all get kicked off and settle this asinine ordeal on the street. Lo, a PD unit has arrived to the scene. The trouble makers exit the bus first, as I receive words of encouragement from neighboring passengers. "Yea, those guys are idiots", "You were in the right." Yadda yadda. As I exit the bus, the coppers go through our belongings. To make a mediocre story short, they found a little sack of weed on the pot smoking poufs, told them to hit the bricks, and kindly gave me a ride home in the back of their squad car.
 
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