Dark Tranquillity finishes shaving their balls

EvilVince

Satan Christ
Dec 16, 2001
514
2
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Morristown, Arizona
myspace.com
Vocalist Mikael Stanne of the Swedish melodic death metallers DARK TRANQUILLITY has issued the following update:

"I can't believe it... We made it! It's done and there is nothing I can do about it. We have NO MORE pubic hair!

"Just got back from the barber where all pubes are now shipped off to Denmark where Tue Madsen will perform his magicky magic on the things we've been working on these last 7 weeks. I just finished shaving my balls a couple of days ago and it feels sweet.

"As always with shavings, there is alot of stress and self-doubt, but being in a more than familiar environment in Martin's [Henriksson, guitar] barber shop has helped tremendously. The shavings have not only been smooth and focused but the overall feeling that we are creating something amazing has really driven us through this. It turned out so different and diverse that the hardest thing for me now is to find a suitable title for the whole thing. How can I sum up in a title something that is everything and nothing, grounded and out there, intorvert and extra-terrestial all at the same time? I know, we're going to just call it "Shaving Our Balls".

"Welll, keep watching this space and I will let you know soon enough. I feel so clean and fresh down there!

"Right now I am just so glad it's done. Anders [Jivarp, drums] did a fantastic job shaving our balls in the barber shop, Micke [Michael Nicklasson] has delivered some really fine pubic hair, Martin and Niklas [Sundin, guitar] have really outdone themselves with scissors and shaving cream and Martin B [Brändström, electronics] has poured a lot of pubic hair into his endeavor. Now all we do is wait for the wigs, and this being our first time weaving out of house so to speak we are really excited to see what the hell we've been up to!"


-Vince
 
:lol:

Sounds like they replaced everything related to a studio update with something about shaving their balls. Still hilarious. :lol:
 
Hhaha. I read it over at the DT forum too and realized that there are too many stuck up whiny idiots on that forum.
 
Haha too true it would seem.

Wonder why he's decided to post it here too though? I mean, it's amusing but it's not as amusing as this joke I actually made up...

What became of the guy who couldn't tell jokes?

I'm sorry, I always forget the punchlines...


Now that's humour! I beg, tell the joke to your freinds, but credit me with it. I want to be remembered for that simple yet clever joke!

Btw, I don't swing by this forum ever at all, and this is off topic... but saw Amon Amarth live the other day with wintersun and shit the bed! Was really beyond supreme! Hails to all ye viking fuckers! :kickass:
 
I must apologize to all Dark Tranquillity fans. I wasn't trying to make fun of them. I like Dark Tranquillity a lot too. The thing is, I'm BIPOLAR, and I read a lot of news reports everyday, and it drives me crazy. So when I came across "Dark Tranquillity finishes their new album", I thought, "Wouldn't it be funny if the story read 'Dark Tranquillity finishes shaving their balls'"? And I got a little laugh out of myself and decided to share it with everyone. I'm sorry, I'm bipolar, and crazy, so there you go.

-Vince

N.P. The Hellacopters - Like No Other Man
 
I must apologize to all Dark Tranquillity fans. I wasn't trying to make fun of them. I like Dark Tranquillity a lot too. The thing is, I'm BIPOLAR, and I read a lot of news reports everyday, and it drives me crazy. So when I came across "Dark Tranquillity finishes their new album", I thought, "Wouldn't it be funny if the story read 'Dark Tranquillity finishes shaving their balls'"? And I got a little laugh out of myself and decided to share it with everyone. I'm sorry, I'm bipolar, and crazy, so there you go.

-Vince

N.P. The Hellacopters - Like No Other Man

Fuck that they should be apologizing to you for being such whiny bitches.