do we hide our sexual desires?

I-TEND-TO-DIE

I-TEND-TO-DIE

leave this world behind
May 3, 2008
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well the Idea of this thread came yesterday as I was watching a movie about a woman who was "sex-addict" and had a relationship to a younger guy and lived her phantasies that she never got of her husband with him.. :lol:
And I think that we (men and women ;)) often hide our true desires for somebody else even if we don't like him or even hate them!
okay I know that sounds very strange but I believe "Love" and "sexual desires" are something very different anyhow..
 
Yes, we hide our sexual desires. We shouldn't have to, but we do.

I believe that sex and love have little to do with one another, but throughout history the commonly accepted truth is that they do. So much meaning and symbolism is placed in sex, when it really doesn't stand for love or commitment at all. I personally think that it's worse if people share their innermost secrets with someone who isn't their lover than if they have sex with someone who isn't their lover.
 
I'm glad that sex is starting to separate itself from love. Although some see it as bad, I don't.
 
This seems complex.

yes, I have been in relationships where I hid some of my more creative perversions because I knew they wouldnt fly. Sexually there is only one woman who truely knows me and we are not together.

I would say most woman that are in a relationship with a man with a strong sexual drive are most likely well aware that we want to screw every attractive woman we see... however its highly advisable to not discuss the subject. Same goes for the reverse and even if both people have strong sexual drive, more times than not jelousy will rear its ugly head.

As for doing it with someone you may not like, I dont have this issue, girls that turn me off, turn me off. I have walked from many a decent opportunity.
 
razoredge said:
This seems complex.

yes, I have been in relationships where I hid some of my more creative perversions because I knew they wouldnt fly. Sexually there is only one woman who truely knows me and we are not together.

I would say most woman that are in a relationship with a man with a strong sexual drive are most likely well aware that we want to screw every attractive woman we see... however its highly advisable to not discuss the subject. Same goes for the reverse and even if both people have strong sexual drive, more times than not jelousy will rear its ugly head.

As for doing it with someone you may not like, I dont have this issue, girls that turn me off, turn me off. I have walked from many a decent opportunity.
Click to expand...

I would say most woman that are in a relationship with a man with a strong sexual drive are most likely well aware that we want to screw every attractive woman we see..
Click to expand...
In many cases that's just fantasing though isn't it, since it's never realistically possible? Many women have similar fantasies. Often both men and women who feel like that, if told by their partner that they have permission to pursue anyone they wish, would totally NOT want to do it and would genuinely only want (fantasy aside) to have sex with their partner only. That fantasing about others thing could just be a healthy reaction that shows the libido is alive and that if they lost their partner they could still go for another.
It's presumably thought of by anyone as a compliment if your partner does appreciate others of the opposite sex, yet prefers to be with you, and should be better than them having no interest what so ever in anyone else.
A lot of men and especially women get ridiculously insecure when their partner is like that though.
 
Einherjar86 said:
Yes, we hide our sexual desires. We shouldn't have to, but we do.

I believe that sex and love have little to do with one another, but throughout history the commonly accepted truth is that they do. So much meaning and symbolism is placed in sex, when it really doesn't stand for love or commitment at all. I personally think that it's worse if people share their innermost secrets with someone who isn't their lover than if they have sex with someone who isn't their lover.
Click to expand...

yeah but society has to make sleeping around when in a relationship taboo for practical reasons.
 
JAGEagent said:
yeah but society has to make sleeping around when in a relationship taboo for practical reasons.
Click to expand...

Only if such a relationship is presumed to be monogamous. Who would enter into such a contract in their right mind? Even if some female happens to be majority shareholder, that is no reason to agree to be 'taken private' :heh:
 
Winter. said:
Originally Posted by Einherjar86
I personally think that it's worse if people share their innermost secrets with someone who isn't their lover than if they have sex with someone who isn't their lover.
Click to expand...

I agree.
Click to expand...

While I sorta understand what your trying to say here... at the same time it confuses me because what other inner most secrets are their that are not sexual ? "oh BTW every once in awhile I like to go out on a Friday night and kill random school teachers"

Also the personal intimacy between two lovers is one of the most precious things there is and is why its typically frowned upon by one or the other should they share their secret with another.

There is also some natural primitive breeding rights going on there too. It exists in animals but human have the intimacy factor added to it.

Norsemaiden - Thats what swingers clubs are for... :lol:

Over the years I have known of, heard of or seen couples in "open relationships" and they rarely last but then there are those that do. So it must have more to do with individual choice and personality types than an across the board rules and regulations that govern it. In other words I dont think society represses us in these regards.
 
And you can honestly say you never in you're life felt trapped by wanting to do so?
 
hard as it may be for some people to believe, sexual dispare only comes to most from being in a relationship with an incompatable lover, or none at all
 
Cipher said:
Only if such a relationship is presumed to be monogamous. Who would enter into such a contract in their right mind? Even if some female happens to be majority shareholder, that is no reason to agree to be 'taken private' :heh:
Click to expand...

I honestly prefer the idea of them knowing what to do (and vice versa). If the girl I was with was someone I had actually been feeling funny in the tummy (lol) and so on over in the first place (jaw droppingly hot) I really wouldn't be upset by the idea of monogamy if they were actually good at sex and enjoyed doing it often.

Back to the real world maybe but still, that's why I could be happy to be in a monogamous relationship. I could simply not have a need for anyone else.
 
most people have some sort of sexual fetish that they do not reveal to the lover that they're afraid of loosing, if you go in thinking that it's just going to be a one night stand, then you're more likely to indulge in your sexual fantasies, but when you're in a "relationship" you don't wanna loose your partner, so you hide from them those fetishes that you think would freak them out, this is the reason that married males are a prostitute/hooker/call girl's best repeat clients, the married men go to the hookers to indulge those specific sexual fantasies that that their wives know nothing about
 
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