@fireangel: i think that if you choose to discuss things in private with two people you should also avoid mentioning the private discussions in public. this way, i would not feel like i am not allowed to ask questions on the board, as a consequence of not being amongst said two people.
this said, i think that rahvin is perfectly right when he says that plans have a life of their own. sometimes you just need to adjust your aim a little bit, although it seems that you need to redesign everything, but normally a lifelong plan is conceived over an interval of time; you are the result of the whole interval and no matter how revolutionary you feel in a certain moment you're not going to be able to change the outcome of years of choices behind you. which also is a good thing, because it saves most of us from total rashness.
in other words, you can play a different melody, but you're not able to instantly change the tuning, which is what makes you you. all good.