Facts about Mikael Åkerfeldt (inspired by Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel etc)

I'm actually finding some of these posts quite funny! Especially wwallinga's minor essay!

Mikael would probably think it's a bit of a lame thread though.
 
I just want to clarify, I did not write it. I copied it from a fabled NYU entrance essay from 10 years ago. I just changed it to fit Mikael. Sorry if that ruins your opinion of it...
 
wwallinga said:
I just want to clarify, I did not write it. I copied it from a fabled NYU entrance essay from 10 years ago. I just changed it to fit Mikael. Sorry if that ruins your opinion of it...
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Doesn't make it less funny. Just makes you a plagiarist :Smug:lofl
 
opeth_353 said:
Doesn't make it less funny. Just makes you a plagiarist :Smug:lofl
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I order to be a plagiarist, I would have to claim the work to be my own. I did not do so. Therefore, I am not a plagiarist.

I am merely unimaginative.
 
In order not to be a plagiarist, you must give credit to the original creator. It's like, if you put a sentence or phrase taken directly from a source other than your own brain in an essay, you have to quote the material and credit the author even if your name doesn't appear on the essay. Unless I'm mistaken. Our English teacher gave us a huge lecture on plagiarism because some dumbasses copied half of their papers from the internet :erk:

Sorry to be argumentive and to have gone off topic...this stuff just happens :erkagain:

:backontopic: If you play the song Master's Apprentices backward, you can distinctly hear every diety of every religion say, "Mikael Åkerfeldt is the real God."
 
Mikael Akerfeldt's guitar tone is capable among other things of breaking 1,000,000 emo's hearts, raising the dead, curing leprosy, turning 1,000,000 slipnot fans into dust...

Mikael Akerfeldt was born on the day jesus died, has met Satan 666 times, has a robe made of twilight, and is also able to turn into a vampire at will:

p10100391editdg3.jpg
 
metal_wrath said:
Mikael Akerfeldt's guitar tone is capable among other things of breaking 1,000,000 emo's hearts, raising the dead, curing leprosy, turning 1,000,000 slipnot fans into dust...

Mikael Akerfeldt was born on the day jesus died, has met Satan 666 times, has a robe made of twilight, and is also able to turn into a vampire at will:

p10100391editdg3.jpg
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The only part I liked was that he was born on the day Jesus died.
 
The Kamasutra is made up of a tenth of the positions known and performed by Mikael that he was willing to demonstrate one afternoon. The lyrics from Ghost Reveries to Orchid, when read backwards, contain the recipe to his homemade aprhodisiac that has cured millions of men of impotency - Mikael has never needed to use it. Before marrying, he fathered a child in each nation of the world and pays five times the amount for child support, with a little something extra for a rainy day. Opeth was only formed to write songs to which he could dedicate to each of the aforementioned children. Needless to say, his mission is far from finished.


..That was written surprisingly fast.. And i seem to have an unhealthy obsession with Mikael, sex and his offspring!:erk: Meh.. :lol:

Edit: Slighty changed now.
 
opeth_353 said:
The Kamasutra is made up of a tenth of the positions known and performed by Mikael that he was willing to demonstrate one afternoon. The lyrics from Ghost Reveries to Orchid, when read backwards, contain the recipe to his homemade aprhodisiac. Mikael doesn't need to use it, instead providing it to the masses - a top selling product with next day delivery and a catchy slogan. His prices cannot be beaten.
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It was funny til the end of this part:lol:
 
According to ancient writings, playing Black Rose Immortal live would lead to destruction of the earth. Due to his infinite kindness, Mikael Åkerfeldt has let us live this far.
 
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