Fat attack!

[Kvlt Wench]

http://www.local6.com/news/5527928/detail.html

 

[Lies and Perfidy]

How the fuck does a 500-pound man burglarize anything?

 

[Det Som Engang Var]

 

[Kvlt Wench]

How did he fit in the police car?

 

[Shpongled]

How the fuck does a 500-pound man burglarize anything?

"Jolicoeur would then call or visit the restaurants posing as a police officer or a firefighter and ask for a refund because there was a hair in his food."

That's how.

 

[Lies and Perfidy]

That's not burglary.

Local 6 News reported that Jolicoeur has been arrested more than 24 times on charges of burglary, drugs and domestic problems, Local 6 News reported.
"Jolicoeur's rap sheet is as thick as a book," Local 6 reporter Chris Trenkmann said. "When he was first checked into the jail in 1991, he weighed 360 pounds. This morning, the jail weighed him at 500 pounds."

360 pounds earlier, I suppose. Still.

 

[Bacchante]

"And, in an interesting turn of events, the victimized restaurants ground the assailant into 500 lbs of taco meat."

 

[Captain Beard]

Beef rain!

 

[ScientistOfDarkness]

I should have thought of this. *plucks hair and places it in enchilada*

 

[Lunar Still]

These cashiers are idiots. Who the fuck has heard of a 500 pound firefighter?

 

[Captain Beard]

The south?

 

[alphacorvus]

These cashiers are idiots. Who the fuck has heard of a 500 pound firefighter?

HA!

I picture a fat man getting stuck in a doorway and burning to death.

"WE'RE HERE TO SAVE YOU MA'AM"

*bites taco in half, tosses wrapper while valiantly charging into the house*

"OH SHI-"

*fireball of fat*

 

[dreaming neon darkspot]

"fireball of fat" ... that is officially the funniest thing i've heard all week.

 

[Dead_Lioness]

EEEW!!!!
Obese people disgust me to no end....

This man is a useless piece of meat.

 

[ScientistOfDarkness]

EEEW!!!!
Obese people disgust me to no end....

This man is a useless piece of meat.

Unfortunately, too many people think like this. If you're overweight (and 65% of the population is) you should just go die. You can't say shit about black people, mexicans, or jews without getting in trouble in this country, but fat people are everyone's punching bags.

This story just makes me sad. He's obviously an idiot for doing the things he did, but he'd be just as much of an idiot if he weighed 150 pounds.

 

[Captain Beard]

I'm trying to lose weight anyway. Damn greasy southern food and lack of getting off my ass.

 

[Ryan VH]

I'm trying to lose weight anyway. Damn greasy southern food and lack of getting off my ass.

at least your trying unlike the fast food dumbass. my football coach is really fat and when he shows us how to do something he runs out of breath within 5 seconds. pretty sad...

 

[Captain Beard]

I saw those photos of me in SF and shuddered. I need to lose at least 50 pounds.

 

[ScientistOfDarkness]

I'm trying to lose weight anyway. Damn greasy southern food and lack of getting off my ass.

It's hard. If you're overweight you're automatically labeled "lazy" and people get the impression that you sit on your ass eating twinkies all day. Oh, to have the luxury. It's a struggle and a million times harder to drop 50+ pounds than it is to "diet" to lose 5. I damn well know, I've been 130 pounds and I've been 230 pounds in my adult life. And there's a huge difference in the way I get treated along the scale.

 

[Captain Beard]

Yeah, I know what you mean. No one cared I've got a belly on the trip, but I still feel I have a lot to gain from dropping some weight, y'know? I walked a lot there due to lack of car and public transportation being certain distances from where you want to go. Maybe that's what I need.