Got this in an email, an entertaining read

prime666

Member
Feb 4, 2002
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>Request for Clarification of Leviticus


>


> Dear President Bush:


>


> Thank you for doing so much to educate people


> regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from


> you, and try to share that knowledge with as many


> people as I can. When someone tries to defend the


> homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind


> them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an


> abomination... End of debate.


>


> I do need some advice from you, however, regarding


> some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow


> them...


>


> 1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves,


> both male and female, provided they are purchased


>from


> neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that


>this


> applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you


> clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?


>


> 2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as


> sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what


> do you think would be a fair price for her?


>


> 3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman


> while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness


> Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have


> tried asking, but most women take offense.


>


> 4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I


> know it creates apleasing odor for the Lord -


>Lev.1:9.


> The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is


> not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?


>


> 5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on


> the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be


> put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him


> myself, or should I ask the police to do it?


>


> 6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating


> shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a


> lesser abomination than homosexuality, I don't agree.


> Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of


> abomination?


>


> 7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the


>altar


> of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to


>admit


> that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to


>be


> 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?


>


> 8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed,


> including the hair around their temples, even though


> this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should


> they die?


>


> 9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of


>a


> dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play


> football if I wear gloves?


>


> 10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by


> planting two different crops in the same field, as


> does his wife by wearing garments made of two


> different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend).


>He


> also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really


> necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting


>the


> whole town together to stone them? - Lev. 24:10-16.


> Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private


> family


> affair, as we do with people who sleep with their


> in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)


>


> I know you have studied these things extensively and


> thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so


> I am confident you can help. Thank you again for


> reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
 
that was brilliant. I ought to show it to my stepmother who claims being gay is a choice. Yeah, I'm sure men choose to be gay because there's no better feeling than being ridiculed and harassed. Fucking religion, what a crock.
 
I love when people take things written years ago and change the name at the top making it instantly topical!