You should be in kuwait soon!!
Since I wasn't able to give you a birthday present, I'll ask for
some help from the good old Kuwait Govt.
I'll make sure the Kuwait officials, along with the customs
officers give you a birthday present that you won't soon
forget!!!
So, when you get back home you have to live for me! Do not waste
anytime sleeping or eating healthy foods! Before you know it you'll
be back in this dump. You have to be a 100% party animal! If you
want something go for it! Don't take no for an answer! LIVE!!!
Please find Jeff and shake his hand for me. He's a real cool guy.
Put my Eddie Van Halen strat in storage. I am not sure that I can
trust you with it since you have a renewed interest in guitar. I
don't want anymore fingerprints on it. It's bad enough that Ed burned
the headstock with a cigarette.... That still bugs me... Dave told me
that Ed burnt it just as he was giving it to him. What a great move!
Also, please find Deb and give her a hug for me!
Be a little
clingy if you can possibly get away with it? Maybe lose your
balance a little. You have to learn to walk on free-soil again!
Maybe pretend you're a little drunk perhaps. You will be forgiven!
Remember what it felt like and don't forget to tell me about it!
Spare me no details. I need to know everything!
And drink a beer for me...
And, get in a car and go `realy fast' for me...
And get to one of those IN-AND-OUT burger joints and eat a DOUBLE-DOUBLE for me!!!
And also go to Guitar Center and stress the sales guys out by only wanting
to play the guitars that are $4,000 and up. Also make sure you have an
envelope in your shirt pocket that has a couple hundred dollar bills showing
along with about 50 `ones' behind it!! - Making it look large!!! Tell him that
you're the lead singer for a band called The Pranksters. That was my band from years ago! I am sure he will have heard of it!!! Hasn't everyone?
Find something wrong with every expensive guitar you look at before you even begin to play it! Walk out just shaking your head..
OH!!! And go to a fancy attorney's office and get a couple business cards.
Go to the Dodge dealer and tell them you want a orange and a black Dodge Challenger. One for you and a girl you've just met on the internet. You must keep a straight face on this one! Tell him to call you when
they arrive! Don't ever go back!! Attorneys and car sales guys bother me. This will make me feel better!
So....
That's.....
Jeff, EVH Guitar, Deb, Beer, Burger, Driving Fast, Guitar Center, Challenger...
Gosh... I know I'm missing something here..
well..
DAMNIT!!
Just have a really great vacation!!!!!!
Oh yeah!!!
Did I mention beer??
OH
I did..
nevermind!
Bye everyone!!!
I will have a drink or 5 for everyone on the plane ride home!!
Wonder if they take cash bribes here like they do in Mexico? Might strap a few Franklins around the pecker for insurance. 
