Hey America: Stop Naming your kids stupid shit!

Saparmurat_Niyazov

Saparmurat_Niyazov

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Nov 30, 2005
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I think American names are becoming the worst on the planet. First of all, you have the yuppie, trying to be clever but failing style names of Chance, Dakota, Madison, McKenzie, and Guage. Then you have the idiotic made-up ghetto bullshit like Shaniqua, LaTrell, LaQuanda, Jamarcus, etc. Worst of all the half-wits who decide it's cool to name their kids are cars they can't afford: Porsche, Mercedes, and Lexus. I seriously think that everyone of child-bearing age must be required to take an IQ test, and if they score double digits, they are mandatorily sterilized.
Another thing that irks me is that I named my daughter Eva (pronounced ay - vuh), which is the correct spelling (it's a Latin name, and anyone who has ever read a book knows that in Latin the letter "E" is pronounced as a long "A" in English), but all these inbred fucktards are naming their daughters Ava. Now people see my daughter's name and insist it's pronounced EE-VUH, not AY-VUH.
End rant.

Anyway, what kind of names bug you? Do you like any names? Or should everyone be given a number like in George Orwell's 1984?
 
I actually rather enjoy offbeat names. My best friend's name is Mychal, which I think is pretty cool. But boring names that you just hear everywhere start to get to me.

Of the things you mentioned, only the car names sound idiotic. I prefer names based in mythology, nature, or literature, or ones with a distinguishing ring to it. My favorite male names are probably Griffin and Dashiell; female, Alexis and Luna.

I'd never have a kid named John, Joe, David, etc.. Fine names, but a bit pallid for me.

For the record, I'm Darren, and my sister is Kyla, so my parents went a bit, but only a bit, off the beaten path.
 
A coworker of mine told me about this girl at a retail store or something that was wearing a nametag with the name "T-A"...it was pronounced "Tuhdashuh".

Another girl was wearing a nametag (may have been a different place...I hope) with the name "Orangejello" pronounced "Or-on-juh-low". It's orange jello goddammit

My friend got knocked up in January. She and the baby's daddy/her boyfriend decided to name the kid Aiden, which is fine with me.
 
I don't have a problem with unique names, just trendy lame-ass names. Madison really gets me, for example. So many girls have been named Madison when it is a) a surname and b) it has "son" at the end, which would mean that the name is defined as "son of Madi". My best friend named his daugher Asha and his son Cerick, and I have no problem with those. Unique, but not laughable.
 
Madison is not a good name.

I love "black guy" names, need to mate with a black man so it's acceptable to name our kids Deshaun and Laquan.

I also tend to like versions of "acceptable white person" names that are spelled the "ethnic" way of another country, for example "Steffen" instead of "Steven."

"New age" spellings of classic names are kind of gay, I knew a girl named Sayre but it was pronounced the same as "Sarah." She was a fat bitch and bought thongs while I was cashiering at Target and I almost barfed on her receipt.
 
This is more of a British thing but I can't understand why anyone would call their daughter Shelley. Maybe it's because the only Shelley I know is a fat, ignorant, obnoxious chav.
 
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Seven.
 
I tend to like plain ol' white people names. My name is Rick, which is pretty whiteboyish. My dad's name is Jay, uncles are Roger, Mike, David, and Rick. I like those names because they're strong, manly names.

I can't stand names like Evan, Alex, fucking Max :erk:, Chad, Cody, or any name like that. This is mostly based off of personal experience, but any guy I've ever met with those names is a twat.

Guys named Ashley, or any other female name, is fucking stupid. I wish I knew the parents of the guys named Ashley because I think they need punched in the face. Why would you name your boy with a girl's name knowing that he's going to be given shit for it when he's younger? What makes it even more disturbing is the fact that my girlfriend's name is Ashley, which completely suits her. You can't go wrong with Rick (or Richard technically in my case).

I also don't like the name John. Mainly because I work with three John's, and they're all dbags to the nth degree.

edit: If any poster here happens to have a name I despise and I hurt your feelings then too bad.
 
Unique names are cool. There's some site where you can check naming statistics for Sweden, and apparently there are 7 men in Sweden named Batman. I envy them.

...and three men and one woman named Chewbacca.
 
King Drunkard said:
I can't stand names like Evan, Alex, fucking Max :erk:, Chad, Cody, or any name like that. This is mostly based off of personal experience, but any guy I've ever met with those names is a twat.
Click to expand...

Clearly you haven't met Alex aka sadistik necrofiend who came to MDF last year. He was sikk as fukk.
 
Nothing King Drunkard has said surprises me. Not surprisingly I tend to avoid those kinds of names and the people who have them.

Most of the people I've dated or been involved with have had boring names. My favorite male name of all time is Wesley.
 
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