huge fat man taking shit, not washing hands, in staff bathroom

[xfer]

oh ew please!

 

[lizard]

we had a 450 lber here who would go to the handicap stalls to take naps. he would take a dump and then snooze for half an hour but nobody ever heard a rattle of the toilet paper dispenser because he was so big he could not wipe:Smug:

finally he quit after getting busted spending all day IMing chicks on the internet. his handle was "snugglecat" - let these cautionary words warn you if you are contacted by amorous internet persons by that name. he was also known as "cherokee warrior," although it was hard to picture him loping down a forest trail...

 

[goatschool]

oh, xfer

 

[deadair]

that's "oh kellyxfer" to you pal

 

[xfer]

wait so the reason morbidly obese people sometimes smell like raw butt is because they don't wipe?? because they can't reach?!?

 

[lizard]

some of his coworkers said he always smelled, but that it was "directional," depending upon how his body was angled toward them.

when counseled by management about maintaining a certain level of hygiene, he claimed the odor was a result of open sores.

one day a coworker offered me a snack, in particular a box of Bugles. he was thirty feet away, but I swear when I started opening the inner bag, his ears swiveled like radar dishes toward the sound, followed by the ponderous turning of his body. instantly, his porcine eyes lasered in on the salty treats. I felt violated.

 

[xfer]

sigh lizard has an animated signature again!

 

[lizard]

okay someone tell me, is an animated sig bad, or was it just a technical mixupwith someone who couldn't view them...I'm not trying to be a shithead, it just comes so easily

 

[xfer]

heh, it's a funny picture, but animated signatures make the page really jerky and weird and difficult to read/scroll/type on!

 

[lizard]

hmmm I have no such strange happenings but in deference to the jerky wierd difficult afflicted, I will now change my sig.

 

[BigFakeSmile]

dude, this week in the ladies room this fat dikey security guard was in the stall next to me... when i got out she was in front of the sink washing her hands, only with her belt and pants still undone.

 

[lizard]

maybe she was advertising!

there was some psycho woman in our satellite office in san antonio who would go in the stalls and smear feces all over everything. broad brushstrokes, it spoke to the viewer as dramatic, bold, artistic statements. and during her period, she would use a bit of menstrual flow for accenting. somewhat heinous. guys just piss all over the seat.

 

[minxnim]

one time i was in the bathroom at work and the person in the next stall was like, GROANING in agony and moaning and crapping like crazy and i was like 'i can go get the doctor' and she was like 'no, i'm fine' in a real casual voice.

SCARRED.

 

[lizard]

as long as that voice didn't come from the turd.

 

[minxnim]

YIKES

x

 

[lizard]

remember the brotha in Total Recall, who had the other being growing out of his body? maybe this woman's turd possessed sentient qualities.

woman: "ohhhhhhh.......ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

the preppy: "are you okay? do you want the doctor?"

turd: "oh no I'm okay!"

 

[Lethe78]

People are sooooo weird.