Humor: Space Maidens

[Mr Toast]

This came to me in a dream... so I had to share!

Episode 662: Space Maidens

Usual SG Coast To Coast music plays at beginning

SG: Greetings! I am Space Ghost. Our guests are anxiously waiting in the studio, so lets get right to it!
(Space Ghost vanishes and reappears behind the desk)
Our first guest is Bruce Chickinson of The Iron Maidens. Welcome to the show!

(Brucie appears on monitor above guest chair)

Brucie: Thank you! It is a pleasure to be here!

SG: So, you are a male impersonator in an all female band. Doesn't this get a little confusing for the audience?

Brucie: Not any more confusing than, say, a tight-wearing superhero!

SG: I've been told I look good in tights. Shall I flex my muscles for you?
(Space Ghost strikes a muscular pose)

Brucie: *sigh*

SG: So, I see you also wear armbands. Do they contain special powers?

Brucie: Among other things, they allow me to influence our male fans in various ways!
(presses one of the studs on her armband)

SG: Hmmm, it seems to be getting hot in here...

SG: So you are a singer with superpowers then?

Brucie: Yes

SG: Do you sing songs about dogs?

Brucie: Not usually...

SG: I like dogs. I had a dog once. We used to go to the park every Saturday. I miss that dog...

Brucie: What happened to him?

SG: Zorak ate him. I hate Zorak.

Zorak (over at keyboards): Mmmmmmm.

SG: (looks to left)
Don't make me come over there!

Zorak: Like I want you to come over here.

SG: I will deal with you later.
(Looks back at Brucie)
I also see you have a skull on your belt.

Brucie: Thats my spirit totem. He helps me get out of bad spots.

SG: So, there's a spirit imprisoned in that skull? Sounds rather supervillainny to me...

Brucie: He likes hanging around with me.

SG: What if he wants to go see his mother?

Camera pans over to Zorak and his nephew, and another monitor lowers into view

JoJo: Pssst. Zorak! How's it going?

Zorak: My evil knows no bounds! How is your day?

JoJo: Not bad. Just killing time until Brucie gets done talking to Ghostie there... so did you enjoy touring with Boston?

Zorak: They weren't evil enough.

JoJo: So, who's the little one?

Zorak: He's my great nephew. You know, he's a seventh son of a seventh son...

JoJo: Really? So that makes you?

Zorak: I'm the sixth son of a sixth son... or evil incarnate!
(Glares ominously at Space Ghost) Assuming I can ever get out of this gig that is...

JoJo: I have an idea about that...
(Whispers into Zorak's ear)

Zorak: Interesting. Wanna hear my Crystal Method?

To Be Continued...

 

[Mr Toast]

(Camera view changes to Moltar's work station)

Moltar: (talking to the Sorceror) I have another call coming in. I'll talk to you later!
(viewscreen changes)

MiniMurray: Hey Moltar, how's it going?

Moltar: Just another day at the grind. You?

MiniMurray: Life is good. Just hanging around waiting for Brucie.

Moltar: So that Maidens thing is working out pretty well then?

MiniMurray: Very awesomely!

Moltar: (Sighs and slouches a bit) That's good...

MiniMurray: Hey, what's on your mind?

Moltar: Well, you know the Maiden mascot?

MiniMurray: Eddie?

Moltar: Yeah... well, that's my younger brother. He hasn't spoken to me in many years.

MiniMurray: Bad blood between you? What happened?

Moltar: Well, it's my fault he looks the way he does...

MiniMurray: Do tell!

Moltar: Well, when we were young lads on the lava planet, we were strolling
through the caverns in our lava suits one day when a big green meteorite crashed through the ceiling and rebounded off the wall below our ledge and fell into the lava and exploded. Eddie lost his balance and I tried to grab him before he fell. but instead I grabbed his zipper and his suit came undone. He fell right into the green lava pool, and by the time I pulled him out he was horribly scarred... Whatever that meteorite was, the fluid it released infused itself into Eddie and allowed him to survive despite the heat.

MiniMurray: Wow, that's an incredible story!

Moltar: Well, Eddie blamed me, saying I pushed him deliberately and tore open his suit. He then refused to talk to me any more. After he arrived at the hospital, the doctors told us that they could do some plastic surgery to help restore his looks, but that it would take a lot of money.
So I embarked on my career as a supervillain to raise the cash. The only thing was, by the time I was able to send mom the money, Eddie had already found a job as the Iron Maiden mascot and was not interested in restoring his looks. But to this day he has never spoken to me. It just tears me up inside thinking about it...

MiniMurray: Hmmm. Hang on a sec (grabs cell phone and makes a phone call)


(Camera view changes back to Space Ghost and Brucie)

SG: Well, that was a fascinating story! I bet the kids just love that one!

Brucie: Thanks!

(Synthesizers and turntable heard in background)

SG: What is that racket? Zorak, you are interrupting my interview!

(Camera view changes to Zorak and JoJo)

(Zorak plays): Squee-mwop de mop de mop

Zorak & Jojo: (singing in unison) The name of the game!

(Zorak plays): Squee-mwop de mop de mop

Zorak & Jojo: (singing in unison) The name of the game!

SG: Zorak, stop that infernal noise right now!

Zorak (stops playing): Or, what?

SG: Or else I will blast you into next week!

Zorak: (resumes playing)

SG: That's it! You asked for it!

Zorak: (Pulls up mirror from behind desk)

(Bolt ricochets back at Space Ghost)
KABOOM!

Blackened SG: (Blinks a few times) Pardon me, Brucie... I will be back shortly to tend to this matter...

Brucie: Take your time...

SG: (vanishes)

Brucie: I'd thought he'd never leave!
(vanishes from screen and reappears on set)

TO BE CONTINUED

 

[Mr Toast]

(Opening music heard again, this time played by the Iron Maidens)

Brucie: Welcome! Today we have in the studio Bruce Dickinson!
(vanishes and reappears behind desk)

Brucie: Hi Bruce! Welcome to the show!

Bruce: Hello! Ummm, where's Space Ghost?

Brucie: He had some business to take care of. I'm filling in in the meantime. So, what's going on with your career these days...

(camera view changes to Moltar's work station)

Moltar: So, no hard feelings then?

Eddie: (Shakes head)

Moltar: Good. So, how's the career going?

SG: (appears) Moltar! Zorak has went too far this time!

Moltar: And your point is?

SG: I need you to make him go away for a while, so I can finish my interview in peace!

Moltar: Can't help you.

SG: Why not?!?

Moltar: Union rules. No beating up on fellow supervillains without good reason!

SG: I'll give you a reason! (raises arm)

Eddie: (Appears in background)

SG: Hey! Where did these strings come from?!? Cant... move... arms!

Moltar: Thanks Eddie!

Sara: Hey Eddie, that's really cool!

Eddie: (starts making Space Ghost dance)

SG: This is NOT funny!

Moltar: Ahh, this brings back memories(Puts on Stayin' Alive in CD player)

Moltar & Sara: (singing in unison)Stayin' Alive, Stayin Alive!

(Camera changes to Studio)

Brucie: Thanks Bruce! And now, for your listening enjoyment... Iron Brak and the Maidens!!!

(Clapping and cheering in background)

_________

Opening riffs (to the tune of The Trooper)

Brak:
You hate my dog
And I hate yours too
You run her off
while I chase yours phew!
So while you're waiting
for her next attack
Your dog is running
and is not turning back

So now they run
and chase each other
and under the sun
they love one another
We see them play
oh, oh so far away
we run and pray
but its too late today

Oh, Oh, Oooh Oh-Oh, puppy love
Oh, Oh, Ohh no, not puppy love!

So now my dog
has had some pups.
They are so cute
as they run and jump.
Yet we still run
and chase our dogs
not just for fun
For eight is enough!

(as closing riffs close)

Brak: Hey! You want a cute puppy?
I housetrained him myself!

Puppy: (tinkles as Brak is holding him)

Brak: Oh, man!

_________

SG: (Appears) What's going on!?!

Brucie: Just having some fun... (presses stud on armbands)

SG: (suddenly feels attracted to Brucie) I... see. Soooo, is there anything else I can do for you?

(Entire studio shakes)

SG: What now?!?

(Closing music and credits)

 

[Snausages]

Dude, you have too much time on your hands, I know a good therapist... Fonny sheet!

 

[Steph Harris]

Very imaginative Mr Toast. Have you ever thought about doing something like this as a job (like comic books,etc)?. BTW, since you mentioned Y&T in one of your last posts... I saw them on Fri w/Montrose - great show!

 

[smylex]

I haven't seen Y&T since their Farewell Tour back in 1989. Farewell my ass...

Wanda, how was the show?

 

[Mr Toast]

It gets busy, but then I have all this down time to do things like post silly threads!

Originally posted by Steph Harris
Very imaginative Mr Toast. Have you ever thought about doing something like this as a job (like comic books,etc)?. BTW, since you mentioned Y&T in one of your last posts... I saw them on Fri w/Montrose - great show!

Yeah, I really enjoyed seeing Dave & the gang onstage again! And it was really cool seeing Ronnie up there too. Just shows that you are never too old to rock!

BTW, I added the Brak song... (see third post above)

 

[Bruce Chickinson]

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH TOAST!!! I LMAO! Too funny!!! We need to talk to the board of directors at the next meeting about putting you on salary as the new VP of comedic comics.

 

[Steph Harris]

Hey Smylex,
The show was great. I saw Y&T back in '85 or '86 (something like that) - they sound just as good as they did then. Still going strong after all these years. What a great show!

 

[MiniMurray]

Thanks for the killer gig Toast! Gotta love jammin' with Brak~ I've been a fan for years. His lyrics remind me of The Melvins. Space Ghost really got his ass kicked :hotjump: I smell a sequel.....

 

[Mr Toast]

Blame my hour or so at the laundromat for the lyrics...

I have pretty vivid dreams sometimes. That was pretty much all I could remember on Sunday (while the two tornadoes growled through the city here - see CNN or www.theleafchronicle.com for details). I have since recalled a few more minor details from that dream, but I will leave well enough alone...

 

[Red Shirt]

Funny stuff! Hope your putting that talent to use and making $$$ of it!

 

[Mr Toast]

I was browsing the front page (just curious about the video contest) and noticed the plug for this thread.

I shouldn't be, but I was very pleasantly suprised. All I can say is-

Thanx!
<*-*>

 

[MiniMurray]

n\p!!!

There is also info on our webpage about the video contest now, Toast.

 

[Mr Toast]

I felt the need to fix the broken pic URL's on this thread and bump it for those that may have missed it the first time (i.e. Dustin, Luna, the rest of the Utah crowd, and everyone else). Enjoy!

 

[HobbesDawg]

I think it's high time that Toasty found..oh.. something to take him away from the computer. I donno what, just anything Dear lord! *ROFL* you cwazy-funny man

-Hobbesdawg

 

[HobbesDawg]

n\p!!!

There is also info on our webpage about the video contest now, Toast.

Video contest? Wot video contest? (looks at page...)

 

[Mr Toast]

Video contest? Wot video contest? (looks at page...)

This thread was started last November (I just felt the need to make some new people groan in agony). So the video contest was over months ago...

Maybe it is time for a new one?