Oz beat me to the welcome part.
All the same problems you described I started with.
First off, I would way abuse the EQ on everything.
I thought I had to make the guitars and drums sound god like and extremely boosted the highs and lows.
Basically the over EQing of certain frequencys like high and low will eat up the headroom real quick causing your mix to peak like its loud but as a whole its terribly quiet.
Basically your boomy noisy scratchy parts of your mix are probably as loud as a professional cd but the actual riffs and beats of the song are quiet.
I recorded Mic'd guitars and direct through a POD Pro and they would both sound like shit. mainly from EQ and too much gain. Eventually you will get to the point where you mic things right from the start and you barely use any EQ to shape the tone.
First things I would do if I were you.
If you are really serious about it, look into a college class.
My Colleges around me offer Recording Studio Techniques and Pro Tools classes and they are only $60 per semester.
They will teach you more in 16 weeks than you will probably gain in the first 2 to 4 years of trying to figure it out on your own.
I have tryed some books too like Home Recording for Musicians for Dummies, Mixing Engineers Handbook, Modern Recording Techniques, and gained little from them, mostly because I am impatient and there is nothing better than being able to just ask someone a question and have them answer.
Theres alot of elements to recording and mixing.
The room you record in can make your drums, vocals, guitars etc, sound like shit.
The mic you use and where you place it can make them sound like shit.
The speakers you are using, room accoustics or where your listening position is placed according to rooms, walls etc can misrepresent what is being played back to you.
Go to Aurlex.com and check out sections of the site that demonstrate a dry room with vocals, guitar, bass etc. Then the same recording setup in the same room but with a Roominators foam kit. Or a Max Wall kit.
Recording in a treated room will clean up your tracks. Mixing in a treated room will help you properly hear what is coming from your tracks.
It seems like you have some decent gear to work with.
If you have trouble with drums, try drumagog and as long as your cymbols sound ok you will get better sounding drums right away and you can always practice making the micd drums sound good with time.
Read about what amps work well for recording and what settings are used on them.
Most people will tell you a 5150, Mesa Dual Rectifier with a Marshall or Mesa Cab and an SM57 will do the job.
Dont give up if you really want it.
We have all been there and in someways are still stuck trying to get to the next level. Im sure everyone has thought about selling all their recording shit and giving up.
You are on a great site for gaining knowledge and assistance.
You might want to check out something like Charles Dyes Mix it Like a Record DVD.
It includes Pro Tools sessions and walks you through the start and finish of mixing a song with all of the standard Pro Tools LE Plugins as well as options for others that have Waves and so forth.
That would be a good hands on way to see how levels, eq and plugins are used.
But its about $134. But I hear they are beginning to use that DVD at some of the Music Colleges.
And from what I have seen on the net, even people who have been recording for 10 to 20 years have learned new approaches or reconfirmed their exsisting techniques and already get better mixes after watching it.
Im pretty sold on checking it out.
Good luck man.
But honestly i have felt the same exact way you do and its very easy to listen to a commercial Cd or come here and listen to peoples mixes and get jealous and beat yourself up that you suck. But hey look on the bright side all these people here are willing to help and share knowledge on how they achieve those great mixes!!
