I just heard the final product (no pun intended) of my band's cd

[Dead Winter]

It's the first time I've ever actually loved listening to music created by me.

Well, it was created by my drummer, but I'm the guitarist so I guess it's the same. I can't wait to let you guys hear it.

Hopefully you'll feel blown away as I do, but if not, critique is always welcome.

I'll post it as soon as he gives the go-ahead.

 

[Chromatose]

lol final product

 

[Captain Beard]

Yuk yuk.

 

[Malergion]

Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly
by Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz

Oh freddled gruntbuggly
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.
Groop I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don't!

 

[Captain Beard]

*strangles himself*


More!

 

[Dead Winter]

Twas brillig and the slithy tove...

 

[Malergion]

Attempted Assassination of the Queen
William McGonagall

God prosper long our noble Queen,
And long may she reign!
Maclean he tried to shoot her,
But it was all in vain.

For God He turned the ball aside
Maclean aimed at her head;
And he felt very angry
Because he didn't shoot her dead.

There's a divinity that hedges a king,
And so it does seem,
And my opinion is, it has hedged
Our most gracious Queen.

Maclean must be a madman,
Which is obvious to be seen,
Or else he wouldn't have tried to shoot
Our most beloved Queen.

Victoria is a good Queen,
Which all her subjects know,
And for that God has protected her
From all her deadly foes.

She is noble and generous,
Her subjects must confess;
There hasn't been her equal
Since the days of good Queen Bess.

Long may she be spared to roam
Among the bonnie Highland floral,
And spend many a happy day
In the palace of Balmoral.

Because she is very kind
To the old women there,
And allows them bread, tea, and sugar,
And each one get a share.

And when they know of her coming,
Their hearts feel overjoy'd,
Because, in general, she finds work
For men that's unemploy'd.

And she also gives the gipsies money
While at Balmoral, I've been told,
And, mind ye, seldom silver,
But very often gold.

I hope God will protect her
By night and by day,
At home and abroad,
When she's far away.

May He be as a hedge around her,
As he's been all along,
And let her live and die in peace
Is the end of my song.

 

[Chromatose]

riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend
of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to
Howth Castle and Environs.
Sir Tristram, violer d'amores, fr'over the short sea, had passen-
core rearrived from North Armorica on this side the scraggy
isthmus of Europe Minor to wielderfight his penisolate war: nor
had topsawyer's rocks by the stream Oconee exaggerated themselse
to Laurens County's gorgios while they went doublin their mumper
all the time: nor avoice from afire bellowsed mishe mishe to
tauftauf thuartpeatrick: not yet, though venissoon after, had a
kidscad buttended a bland old isaac: not yet, though all's fair in
vanessy, were sosie sesthers wroth with twone nathandjoe. Rot a
peck of pa's malt had Jhem or Shen brewed by arclight and rory
end to the regginbrow was to be seen ringsome on the aquaface.
The fall (bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonner-
ronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthur-
nuk!) of a once wallstrait oldparr is retaled early in bed and later
on life down through all christian minstrelsy. The great fall of the
offwall entailed at such short notice the pftjschute of Finnegan,
erse solid man, that the humptyhillhead of humself prumptly sends
an unquiring one well to the west in quest of his tumptytumtoes:
and their upturnpikepointandplace is at the knock out in the park
where oranges have been laid to rust upon the green since dev-
linsfirst loved livvy.

 

[Malergion]

Finnegans for the win!

Walk this Plank to the Sea, but I am Taking You Down, Too
Wings are shot with lighting,
Feathers fly away.
As skin starts to bleed,
And this book called love,
Is torn in two.

No harm is abandoned,
Souls are tortured.
Arrogance takes these vicous and sultry thoughts,
And engergizes them to size.

Falling into the blue,
No way to survive,
My legs are chained,
I cannot run.

I am sleeping,
And never waking up,
They did this,
And dont even regret.

Forgotten i am left alone,
Singing away in my new land,
As my lungs wash away,
And my body thrusts down.

I am on the seabed,
With my legs chained.
I cannot run.

 

[Dead Winter]

Time has painted rubble upon the land
Lowering a dirty veil on everything
Buildings, now mausoleums
hide a far image of flourishing life

time has painted sadness in my soul
wiping out the present, only the past is shown
memories of eons, of people now deceased
are clear like the first day, but everything is grey, here…

(The bitter beauty of the grey)

Nobody stands on this dust
That once gave shelter to life
Nobody can hear my steps
There’s only the sand, and the sky…
watch the earth and feel the past
And daydream an epoch that shined
The resounding glory of an age
Only remains.

Fluxor is destroyed, dusted, deserted
My ancient home, is now just a tomb
Through time, through centuries…
I have buried them all
I have lost them all

Time has flown away so fast
On this desolate world I am the last
The sound of the strand reminds me when
here, youth brought me the pleasure of living

This Sun that weakly shines, silently
Standing with seeming immutability
Is the same Sun that once smiled to life…
it points out the end of human being.

I have fought,
I have seen other worlds
I have savoured victories
But I have lost everyone.
Through time, through centuries…
I have buried them all
I have lost them all

 

[Chromatose]

What clashes here of wills gen wonts, oystrygods gaggin fishy-
gods! Brékkek Kékkek Kékkek Kékkek! Kóax Kóax Kóax! Ualu
Ualu Ualu! Quaouauh! Where the Baddelaries partisans are still
out to mathmaster Malachus Micgranes and the Verdons cata-
pelting the camibalistics out of the Whoyteboyce of Hoodie
Head. Assiegates and boomeringstroms. Sod's brood, be me fear!
Sanglorians, save! Arms apeal with larms, appalling. Killykill-
killy: a toll, a toll. What chance cuddleys, what cashels aired
and ventilated! What bidimetoloves sinduced by what tegotetab-
solvers! What true feeling for their's hayair with what strawng
voice of false jiccup! O here here how hoth sprowled met the
duskt the father of fornicationists but, (O my shining stars and
body!) how hath fanespanned most high heaven the skysign of
soft advertisement! But was iz? Iseut? Ere were sewers? The oaks
of ald now they lie in peat yet elms leap where askes lay. Phall if
you but will, rise you must: and none so soon either shall the
pharce for the nunce come to a setdown secular phoenish.
Bygmester Finnegan, of the Stuttering Hand, freemen's mau-
rer, lived in the broadest way immarginable in his rushlit toofar-
back for messuages before joshuan judges had given us numbers
or Helviticus committed deuteronomy (one yeastyday he sternely
struxk his tete in a tub for to watsch the future of his fates but ere
he swiftly stook it out again, by the might of moses, the very wat-
er was eviparated and all the guenneses had met their exodus so
that ought to show you what a pentschanjeuchy chap he was!)
and during mighty odd years this man of hod, cement and edi-
fices in Toper's Thorp piled buildung supra buildung pon the
banks for the livers by the Soangso. He addle liddle phifie Annie
ugged the little craythur. Wither hayre in honds tuck up your part
inher. Oftwhile balbulous, mithre ahead, with goodly trowel in
grasp and ivoroiled overalls which he habitacularly fondseed, like
Haroun Childeric Eggeberth he would caligulate by multiplicab-
les the alltitude and malltitude until he seesaw by neatlight of the
liquor wheretwin 'twas born, his roundhead staple of other days
to rise in undress maisonry upstanded (joygrantit!), a waalworth
of a skyerscape of most eyeful hoyth entowerly, erigenating from
next to nothing and celescalating the himals and all, hierarchitec-
titiptitoploftical, with a burning bush abob off its baubletop and
with larrons o'toolers clittering up and tombles a'buckets clotter-
ing down.

 

[Malergion]

a rose so dark its to easy to see the blood
as i sit and look into the garden,
the roses are blooming,
as the day darkens,
its get so dark killing all light,
soon as we no all this will be night,
i see this one rose,
it is as black as the night,
i grab it so hard,
i grip it so tight,
i feel all this pain,
i look as my hands,
the blood is so red,
i dont understand,
on the dark rose the one i held tight,
i can see the red blood,
as day truns to night,
i rush to my house,
and grab a old cloth,
to stop all the bleeding,
but its all to late,
i still hav the cloth as i run to the gate,
i trip over stones,
and fall with a crash,
i grab the gate handel,
but still fall with a smash,
i see you just walk by,
dont stop and dont cear,
i might as well be dying if i think that you cear.

 

[Chromatose]

ONE summer afternoon Mrs Oedipa Maas came home from a Tupperware party whose hostess had put perhaps too much kirsch in the fondue to find that she, Oedipa, had been named executor, or she supposed executrix, of the estate of one Pierce Inverarity, a California real estate mogul who had once lost two million collars in his spare time but still had assets numerous and tangled enough to make the job of sorting it all out more than honorary. Oedipa stood in the living room, stared at by the greenish dead eye of the TV tube, spoke the name of God, tried to feel as drunk as possible. But this did not work. She thought of a hotel room in Mazatlan whose door had just been slammed, it seemed forever, waking up two hundred birds down in the lobby; a sunrise over the library slope at Cornell University that nobody out on it had seen because the slope faces west; a dry, disconsolate tune from the fourth movement of the Bartok Concerto for Orchestra; a whitewashed bust of Jay Gould that Pierce kept over the bed on a shelf so narrow for it she'd always had the hovering fear it would someday topple on them. Was that how he'd died, she wondered, among dreams, crushed by the only ikon in the house? That only made her laugh, out loud and helpless: You're so sick, Oedipa, she told herself, or the room, which knew.

 

[Malergion]

My Friend, The Carrot
by Ron Lunde

Look,
Pink's for noses, like my cat's,
Green's for leaves, or maybe parrots,
Brown's for cocoa or fruit bats,
And Orange's just the thing for carrots.
Bite,
A clean snap, molars chew,
Vegetable of hearty satisfaction.
Not like okra, ooh what goo,
Where teeth don't get no traction.
Chew,
Sometimes though, a bit of grit
Hit's filling, and you'll hurt
You'll grimace then, and out you'll spit,
A bit of carrot dirt.

 

[Captain Beard]

My key fits but the door seems so far.
I wage a war, yet no volunteers. Caused so
much pain, my vessel became callous. Love's
blood is sweet so I binge. Its voice cries
out, I ignored the echoes. My drink got
thicker. I dilute it with warm honeyed
water, yet it got dark, cold and bitter. My
thirst now relies on sorrow. My eyes has an
affair with tears, but makes love to shadows
once glimpsed opposite the door. Where's the
door, is there another path? I wouldn't
know where to begin this journey. In
desperation I hold the key, and in insanity
I cling-on. My path is obscured, haunted by
ghosts with familiar cries. Cries so loud
they can't be ignored. The words would rip
the very flesh, which is engorged with
undeserved kindness. Here, please, take my
key. Do not mind the bloodstained grooves,
for they taste sweet.

 

[Malergion]

Lord of the Vampyres
by Jellicus Mintae

My Lord, O how thy teeth sparkle
I shall be thy Mistress!
O My Lord! How quickly your darkness consumes my breasts
How the Pitch Black of thy love
Ignites the Fires of my Heart!!

I shall be thy waiting slave
I wait for thou!! O Lord!
With Open arms and Open neck
Bleeding freely for thee!

 

[Chromatose]

When the sound of my doorbell woke me up Saturday, I was still wearing nothing but my paper-thin summer pajama pants even though it was already past noon because I didn’t have anywhere to be that particular Saturday and I was still a little hung over from Friday night. When I opened the door, I was surprised to see Kristi, the one person that I knew that wasn’t at my house the night before. She’d told me the night before that she was going to come by but I was just a little too hung over to remember. Her straight hair was parted down the middle, hanging down to her shoulders the same as always, but now it was dyed to match her beautiful blue eyes. Her perfectly pale skin sharply contrasted against the glossy black paper-thin plastic knee length trench coat that was opened up just enough for me to see that she was topless underneath it. Her freakishly short micro miniskirt was pulled down enough past her hips that although I couldn’t see her pussy lips I could still clearly see that she’d waxed her pubic hair when she waxed her legs. I could see her gorgeous feet because she was wearing shiny black spaghetti strapped heels with her pedicured toenails covered in polish matching her hair. Her jewel blue eyes lit up like Christmas lights when she looked down at my hard dick that was making a tent out of the front of my paper-thin summer pajama pants. “Would you like a drink?” I asked because I was too flustered to think of anything else to say. She surprised me by saying “Dr. Pepper, if you have it”. I’d totally expected her to ask for some type of alcohol because she knew about the party I’d had the night before. When I turned around to walk to my fridge I heard her gasp loudly at the sight of the vibrant red welts that were on my back from the whip of the dominatrix. Her high-heeled spaghetti straps click clacked across the black and white checkerboard tiled linoleum floor as she followed me inside. When I placed two cans of Dr. Pepper on the clear glass coffee table she pushed me onto the still pulled out sofa bed just before she pulled of her trench coat and threw it onto my blood red pool table. Her cotton candy pink nipples were as hard as my dick when she pressed her soft gooey natural D-Cup boobs into my leg as she used her freakishly long tongue to lick my waxed chest. She moved her tongue down my stomach toying with my silver bellybutton ring as she pulled at the elastic of my paper-thin pajama pants using her long fingernails to gently scratch my waxed ball sack. Her freakishly long tongue seemed to be magic as she gave me a blowjob that was a million times better than it could have ever felt fucking a pussy. I’d heard stories about how sluttish this girl was but now I knew for sure that there was no way in hell this girl was a virgin because she obviously knew what she was doing when she swallowed every single molecule of my cum as if it was the most delicious thing in the world while pulling her skirt down past her spaghetti strapped shoes. “My turn” she purred as she slithered up my body until he palms were pressed up against my Batman poster with her spiked heels rhythmically digging into my upper thighs. When she pressed her glistening waxed pussy into my face the smell was so intoxicating that when I began licking up her pussy juice I began to get hard all over again. I knew she was enjoying it because I could feel her freakishly large clit throbbing as she gushed more and more of her delicious pussy juice past my quivering lips. As I was probing her pussy with my tongue I was gripping her ass because despite her extremely tiny waist her ass was still big enough that it was as soft and gooey as a second pair of boobs. She insisted that I slide my fingers inside her ass and when I could feel her sphincter spasm her moaning changed in that way that told me that she was enjoying the sensation of my manicured fingers wiggling inside her colon. When her sexual moaning turned into orgasmic screaming she gushed a geyser and I thought I was going to drown in the fluid that was not only going in my mouth and nose but also in my eyes and ears as well. I popped again and after we used wiped ourselves off with the leopard print sheets we passed out and slept for the rest of the day wrapped in each other’s arms

 

[Malergion]

click click boom
starts out something perfect
just a normal little girl
but that all changes
turns something totally different
as all kids do
the girl wasnt so normal
she wasnt so perfect
now a dark emo lady
cant take anything
can barely stand on her own two feet
she cant hold in her feelings
each day is a nightmare
but that all changes
as all people go through stages
but shes stuck in a rut
unable to peel away what she had made herself into
she needs guidance
shes not what she looks like
but all judge her
she thinks
she just cant wake up one day and be something different
what would her friends think
totally different after one nights sleep
she cant take it
she wants to yell
this is who i am
deal with it
click click boom!

 

[Captain Beard]

Let's get things STRAIGHT
First of all, let's get things straight

I'm a homosexual male
Don't call me a 'gay'
it wasn't my choice,
it was the way I was made
boy or girl?
Either way I can be swayed
and you know what?
some days are okay
but most times
I wish I wasn't me.

Helpless,
like a fly in autumn wind
people make it hard for me
it's like I'll never win
I thought it'd be like that forever
I thought I was living in sin
And my life was uneventfully so
until the day I met him

A school dance, I wouldn't usually go
but my parents were making a fuss
you see, my mum's disappointed, my dad's outraged
they insist I should "adjust"
they insist I go meet some nice girl
even though my peers hate my guts
but that night turned out better than planned
though my parents have new reasons to distrust

He was from out of town visiting family
his cousins made him come
beautiful blue eyes, thick eye lashes
he left me simply stunned
he stood alone on the wall, abandoned my family
unnoticed in the background
but with looks like that how could I ignore
I think perfect beauty was found

I crept on over, trying not to look too direct
and I asked him of his name
"Adam," he said lightly, his smile not tame
we spoke for a while of ourselves and our lives
and found out we were very much the same
the fact that I'd found such an attractive boy
was very far from lame
and that this attractive boy was attracted to me
well, only fate's to blame

We talked and we danced and I was caught in it all
this boy was just too fun
and five minutes after the dance had started
my party had really begun
turns out he's into music the kind I like
and he was also bullied a ton
but he didn't care, as long as he was happy
he said that the bullies had never won
so lost in the moment, I stole a kiss
Well, okay, maybe more than one.

The next thing I knew, the lights were up
a brief ten minute break
some people were staring at up in shock
but I felt we'd made no mistake
we walked to the side trying to loose some attention
but we only found more in the wake
a large group of people, some violent by nature
blocked our way and asked for a retake

Adam stood strong, but I didn't know what to do
the whole school'd seen it for sure
they continued to jeer and started to shove
they got us all thrown right out the door
but outside the dance, they wouldn't retreat
Adam was tough and they wanted more
a first fight broke out; ten against two
and for their next action there was no cure

A taller guy, a football jock,
from hi pocket he brandished a knife
Adam was stabbed in the stomach and fell to the ground
letting out a gasp of strife
the crowd ran off in terror of ones actions
such luck typical of my life
I stumbled over to him and screamed for help
why can't anything ever go right

By the time the paramedics got there
Adam was already dead
his last words (I love you) intertwined with sirens
they still play over in my head
and if there's a certain number of tears
than anyone person can shed
I shed them all in the one night
before ever going to bed

The next day I awoke and my parents had heard
they hated me, I know they did
told me I was half the reason that Adam had died
they told me I was grounded
I was lost in my grief, what had I done
was I the reason he was gone?
I knew that for sure, it must be true
I guess my life was done.

How do you repay a life, I'd ask
what is there that I could do
and I found a solution, that seemed to fit
avenge and be with you
so fitting, you died of a stab wound and so should I
Hmmm... A gaping hole in the throat will do
a sharp, clean kitchen knife and the pain comes
and not a second too soon

Now it's up for your interpretation what happens next
but I say we live happily ever after
and all those bullies threats and jeering tones
that will all just be past hurt
I'd suffered enough for being who I was
and in the end took my own life
This is an ode against homophobia
This is a poem to save lives

----------------------
That sucked. A LOT.

 

[Lord Foul]

Did we really need to go to the LRD place, Chromatose?