i live in america now, fml

[arg]

lost my job in europe. been living/working in this shithole called los angeles for some months now.

need help getting quality pussy.

no legal whorehouses like i'm used to. just shitty strip clubs with stupidly expensive and unfulfilling lapdances. (ok A FEW have hot-ish white bitches but i can't fuck them there). NOT EVEN CLOSE, DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH to the russians/czechs/frenchs/etc that are worthy of my penis though.

i tried backpage once but HOO BOY was that a fucking mistake. classic bait and switch; bitch (who of course looked hot on the website) turned out to be a fatass whose asshole stank. got naked but my dick was (fucking understandably) shriveled up in disgust so i walked out.

PLEASE HELP.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

Loiter around UCLA and pick up nubile Asian girls.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

Otherwise, you actually have to get girls to like you. Which can be nearly impossible here.

I hope the "you" is the critical word in determining said impossibility.

 

[MasterOLightning]

I hope the "you" is the critical word in determining said impossibility.

Eh, if you live in a massive city like NYC, LA, or Chicago, the perception is that there are nearly limitless options for dating. That tends to make people really picky, figuring that with 10,000+ choices, there's bound to be someone better out there. I wasn't being completely snarky.

 

[UltimateApathy]

If you think the U.S. is a shithole, you should try Africa or South America out for size.

 

[damnromulans]

Or Saudi or UAE hahahahahahaha.

Why are you in America now? I thought for some reason you were a UK citizen

 

[Eligos]

If you can't at least pretend to respect anyone but yourself, you won't last long here, bub.

 

[Zephyrus]

Suffer like the rest of us in this backwards society!

 

[Yelloweyedemon]

How about a good headbang?

Against a strong wall.

 

[Krow]

Oh no aug has to find a personality.

 

[Onder]

Did you really have to move to USA??? Sounds extreme.

 

[Onder]

Are you on facebook bro? I wish to hear more lamentations about USA. Or stay here and complain publicly. Have you seen a shooting yet? Those are famous. Better hang out near schools or at the mall.

 

[unknown]

the SoCal group just got more interesting for better or worse

 

[sevag00]

We missed you, man. Welcome back.

 

[Onder]

^ +1

 

[TechnicalBarbarity]

Yea, outside of the weather, the Los Angeles area is just pure shit. I can't wait till i get the fuck out of here.

 

[Onder]

On another note, are there any positives in moving to Amruca? I don't know, something specific to do in your free time that's a novelty for an European? I would probably go see a hockey game and eat a hot dog there just for the sake of it. You will probably have to find an alternative to sex if all American women are fat or ugly (I've suspected that tbh, no "hate speech" intended ).

EDIT: Also, Augusto, how fucking specific is your position that you had to move so far? Is there no job for you on this continent?

 

[UltimateApathy]

You can't ban someone for saying that he hates living in America, LOL.

 

[Krow]

If you think he was talking about him saying he hated living in America, you might actually be dumber than I thought.

 

[UltimateApathy]

Did somebody say "dumb"?