hey man, that poem was awesome, and i do the same whenever i write anything - add in metal references \m/ if your willing to post more id be happy to read em. rock on
I scarred the hell out of a bunch of ppl w/a poem I wrote...
- Thread starter dreaming neon darkspot
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Lord of Metal-Understand,the people that were scared by my poem are used to poems about sanity/insanity,love,etc.And not most of the poems they go over are that *extreme*in either imagery or subject matter because the stuff has to be school appropriate.And plus there are several devoute Catholic/Christian ppl there,so...yeah.
neal
wizard in black
Lies and Perfidy
Gentleman of the Road
...more poems. This one's from an assignment to write thirteen lines each about love and war (I won't subject you to anything I've written about love.)
We Are the Warriors
Fury dreams and napalm screams set the world alight
Predestined fate of processed hate driven down into nght
Living demons from an earthly hell
Here at last, their shadows cast to block out your sight
Tides of blood, this mines a dud, cast it into the sea
The prophecys true, I weep for you and what will never be
Tears touch the crimson, the tide begins to swell
The fight for peace will never cease but the bomb will set us free
Going mad, youve been had, theres nothing left to save
Embers smolder, heroes molder in an unmarked mass grave
Called again to march at the tolling of the bell
The heavy tread of the dead as the madmen rave...
Says We are the warriors.
And this one, was inspired by "The Crucible," a movie about the Salem witch trials...actually a play first, but I haven't seen it on stage. It's untitled because I'm lazy.
Out of the forgefire they came
With their holy men dreaming as their sanity died screaming
Hunting for someone to blame
As their gods crown of thorns hides his devilish horns
The children wished only to feel
Just one dance, one escape from imprisoning fate
Suspicion made them into steel
But blackened and scarred, madness iron-hard
Driven by hate to accuse
One idle boast leads to the hangmans post
Childish rage tightens the noose
And draws innocents farther like lambs to the slaughter
Divine chaos swells and grows
A good man falls dead, jealous lust claims his head
And the flock are reaped in rows
Marching forth to the bleeding with their martyred god leading
When the storms over nineteen have passed
Guilty of no crime but wrong place, wrong time
The town is left silent at last
Praying to the Son, weeping what have we done?
I'd like to hear what you all think, and more importantly, some of your own writings...what've you all got lurking in your twisted minds?
We Are the Warriors
Fury dreams and napalm screams set the world alight
Predestined fate of processed hate driven down into nght
Living demons from an earthly hell
Here at last, their shadows cast to block out your sight
Tides of blood, this mines a dud, cast it into the sea
The prophecys true, I weep for you and what will never be
Tears touch the crimson, the tide begins to swell
The fight for peace will never cease but the bomb will set us free
Going mad, youve been had, theres nothing left to save
Embers smolder, heroes molder in an unmarked mass grave
Called again to march at the tolling of the bell
The heavy tread of the dead as the madmen rave...
Says We are the warriors.
And this one, was inspired by "The Crucible," a movie about the Salem witch trials...actually a play first, but I haven't seen it on stage. It's untitled because I'm lazy.
Out of the forgefire they came
With their holy men dreaming as their sanity died screaming
Hunting for someone to blame
As their gods crown of thorns hides his devilish horns
The children wished only to feel
Just one dance, one escape from imprisoning fate
Suspicion made them into steel
But blackened and scarred, madness iron-hard
Driven by hate to accuse
One idle boast leads to the hangmans post
Childish rage tightens the noose
And draws innocents farther like lambs to the slaughter
Divine chaos swells and grows
A good man falls dead, jealous lust claims his head
And the flock are reaped in rows
Marching forth to the bleeding with their martyred god leading
When the storms over nineteen have passed
Guilty of no crime but wrong place, wrong time
The town is left silent at last
Praying to the Son, weeping what have we done?
I'd like to hear what you all think, and more importantly, some of your own writings...what've you all got lurking in your twisted minds?
Well...I have a bunch of long,drawn-out gothic horror stories lurking in my twisted mind...not nearly as good as what's been posted here.I am no poet.
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TrueBeliever
michael
Lies and Perfidy
Gentleman of the Road
The difference is, I don't take my insecurities seriously. There are two or three people in my class who do...I'M so fucking sick of them. Post the horror stories if you get the chance, DND...I'm not a big fan of poetry anyway; I just had to do it for class. More of a fiction writer myself.
Oh yeah, what the fuck is a nu-metal teen? Apparently, it's not someone who listens to nu-metal (since I sure as hell don't, and DND doesn't appear to either.) Enlighten us.
Oh yeah, what the fuck is a nu-metal teen? Apparently, it's not someone who listens to nu-metal (since I sure as hell don't, and DND doesn't appear to either.) Enlighten us.
TrueBeliever
michael
Although I did not make the original statement, I do think I can help answer this. The other term I have heard (here) is mallcore.
1. Wear black to be wearing black.
2. Often wear the black shirts with "disturbing" messages written in white on them.
3. Think Slipknot is death metal.
4. Thinks they have a terrible life
5. Call themselves freaks
6. Writes "dark, and disturbing" poetry/stories
And there a ton more signs, but I will let others add to the list...
Lies and Perfidy
Gentleman of the Road
Ohhhhh...those wankers. Don't run into many of them...mostly pop-punks, trendies, and gangstas at the old HS, and the new one's full of *gasp* INDIVIDUALISTS.
Yeah, I do that. Personal style thing, and also my way of telling people to leave me alone.
Nah...usually just band shirts, or the occasional out-of-left-field thing like a Shakespeare quotation shirt.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Nah...it was never worse than "kinda shitty," and it generally goes pretty well.
Perhaps a freak among freaks...more like loser, and damn proud of it.
I tend to write depressign stuff because it's my niche...I can't write poetry half as well as most of my class, so I just cover up for it by doing stuff no one else in the class does. My stories tend to be more like epic/heroic fantasy stuff.
Now that I know who you're talking about...
7. Desperately attempt to piss people off so their existence will be justified.
8. Call any non-hardcore bands "pussies," "sellouts," etc.
9. Take any and all drugs available, just to prove how badass they are.
10. Are homophobic, racist, and occasionally anti-Semitic/-Islamic.
11. Think the height of coolness is flunking all your classes to show that "the just don't care."
12. Do the best they can to make their parents hate them.
13. Take offense at constructive criticism of their writing, to the point of punching critics in the face (personal experience with a certain fuckwad sophomore.)
Lies and Perfidy
Gentleman of the Road
good poem, i thought it was rather "nice" as opposed to "scary"....kinda tugs at you a bit, though i thought the blood offering coulda been avoided....it made it seem too "ritual" like...i mean as someone said before, if they were tears it coulda worked, and to me would've seemed like the ghost appearing would be like some sort of retribution for her pain (mental) and sorrows, but its still good, i enjoyed the read.
Yes,it seems that the idea of tears as opposed to blood would've worked better.I realized that a bit late,though.I'd like to use that somewhere else,and I thank Iris for the idea
