Ideas for my book. Don't expect many people to read, very long.

[Det Som Engang Var]

Thought about posting in gaming thread, they'll know what I'm talking about.

I have ideas together for a trilogy. I want to combine the humanism, first person thinking, and brutality of Game of Thrones/ASOFAI.

A Morrowind style to Poetry and Lore.

Only humans in book one. Book two will be Elves similar to Elder Scrolls but much more alien and in come cases bizzare.

Book One:

My version of Rome is called Vatilya. To the north is the Vaticas (Play on Vatican), to the south is something similar to a Roman Pagan rebellion.

Caius (might change name later), or make it a hidden reference to Morrowind, is a man in his late fifties, a large amount of muscle mass for his age. Bald on top and grey hair around head.

The Holy Vatilyian Empire is ruled by "Priest of Yahweh." My version of the ass-hole old Testament God. No Cross since no Jesus, but I call it The Five Priest of Yahweh, once of each saw a vision of Yahweh similar to The Burning Bush. Afterward their eyes turned White.

Since there's no cross, and five visions, it is said the sixth vision will bring Yahweh to earth in his true form. So on their white crusader tabbards, they wear a hexagram missing the bottom part. Almost like a house with no floor.

In the south, or "Apollo Empire", there is a council at bitter conflicet he was the equivalent of a Roman Prince (What do you call those rankings?) He chose to be the highest ranking remember of a Roman army (What is that title?) His father having claimed to be Apollo incarnate but being assassinated by Yahweh Assassins, regardless. Think of "The Son of Mars" young blonde Ceasar from Spartacas. He has won many wars against The Holy Vatilyian Empire. Serves council, yet is loved by his red legions.

In Chapter one, I want Caius, from the south, to be in on a plot with The Holy Vatilia, via the "High Priest" (Pope).

Some of the priest of Yahweh will be assassinated, but I want it subliminal. All in the first chapter. I want you to reread the chapter and go "OH, I see how he did it now."

I was thinking a gladitorial event since this will be in the south, five highest ranking Empire of Apollo soldiers in disguise as Gladiators. After killing them all in battle royal with spears, they throw them at The High Priest of Yahweh, giving the Blind High Priest total control of the north.

But that's not very subliminal is it? Perhaps a feast or banquet? I don't know.

By the way, the Roman Gods will never appear. The Son of Mars will die as a false martyr. The next chapter will be set in Brithania (England), and a small island to the west inhabited by Woad tribes. (Irish/Scottish)

Any ideas are welcome. If enough people respond I'll post about chapter two which is more about the Woads and Brethons, Game of Thrones type kingdom plots and shit.

Thanks to whoever took time to read this. I know most of you are much smarter and educated than I am.

 

[WhiteBeastofWotan]

I'd read it. One suggestion is to change the name of Yahweh, since having the actual name of the God of Israel makes the symbolism a bit too obvious. Otherwise, its very derivative, but thats not necessarily a bad thing if its well executed.

 

[Det Som Engang Var]

I recently played a game called Shin Megami Tensei 4. They called him YHWH, should I do that? I want it known this is the real God, (who will be defeated utterly, though will never appear in person)

The Norse gods will appear at some point. As well the Elven gods, perhaps living ones if that isn't ripping of Morrowind too much.

Book Three will be about the twin headed Ogre mage living god and the "Temple of Green Blood", but I haven't thought that far ahead.

Dark Elves in book two will be a combination of House Telvanni, and the evil ones from Everquest. Think Shadowknights with the helmet from Enemies of Reality. Plus some rebellion warrior sect who still worship the Moon Elf God. Who all Dark Elves were transformed from for a reason I can't think of yet and have been thinking of for many, many years.

 

[El Stormo]

I read it too. Like Max said, it's all very derivative, and lacking in originality a bit, with a lot of fantasy tropes being played concerningly straight, though you can probably add originality by writing it well. And definitely don't call your god YHVH, it's too obvious a rip-off.

So far all you have is some incoherent elements of a setting. I've only got one bit of advice: no book was ever written by "having ideas". Don't sit there thinking what you'll write in book 3, just start your story and see how it goes. Planning shit out in advance doesn't have much of a point since your story will change when you write anyway. You need characters, a vague idea of a setting, and the start of a good plot. That's all you need, the rest is just 'having ideas' to postpone the actual work. Don't have ideas, write.