Instructions on how to annoy people . . .

Wolff

New Metal Member
May 9, 2001
2,794
1
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Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip..."

If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

Speak only in a "robot" voice.

Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announcing its your property.

Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

Name your dog "Dog".

Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up".

Reply to everything someone says with "That's what YOU think!"

Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot".

Practice making fax and modem noises.

Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and copy them to your boss.

Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid looking ignorant.

Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person".

Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

To really annoy people, stand on a street corner, pointing a hair drier at passing traffic, and watch it slow down.

Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

Take a sock puppet to dinner with you. When the waiter comes to ask you what you want, consult the sock. When the check comes argue with the sock loud enough so everyone can hear you about who will pay the bill, throw him down and say "Fine you pay!" then leave.
 
Tell people they're ugly when they smile.

Get a religion, and preach about it all the time.

Repeat yourself.

Leave in the middle of a conversation.

Answer all questions with a question.

Ask blondes why they're so stupid.

Say "you look really tired today" every time you meet someone.

Always flush the toilet three times. Count outloud.

Insist on you friends using both your first and last name when talking to you.

Tell jokes about terrorists at the airport.

etc etc etc
 
haha,

funny, all of them.

But the one about keeping the turn signal on-- shit! does that curdle my blood on the road! :mad: :mad:
 
I have my own formula worked out for that purpose. It consists of making statements that can pass for anything other than nauseatingly liberal. Mindless, angst-ridden, unholier-than-thou product of society happens by, hijinks ensue.
 
You mean something like this:

Useissa muissa abstraktioissa on oleellisinta, että solmu on osa suuremmasta kokonaisuudesta kuten Antrean solmu kalaverkosta. Kombinatoriikassa verkot muodostuvat solmuista ja niiden välisistä särmistä.

?

Bwhahahah! :lol: