I can understand why you can't sit down and face the memories, yet. It was so hard when Vern died, but to me the most horrible thought was that he would truly die, so I sat down and I wrote. Eventually, I organized and made the site, but to start, I just wrote. I've heard it suggested that you forget proper grammar, and just sit and write as though it were simply yesterday. Take something like 20 minutes a day with pen and paper (or, for me, the computer was easier) and do a "stream of consciousness" thing. Start with the words "I remember" and just let it out. There's a lot more I need to get down, and I'm surprised as I write at what I'd forgotten I knew already. But knowing that I did get what I've got now is helpful. Oh, and the song is "Angel" by Judas Priest off Angel of Retribution. ((((Gina)))) I'm so sorry you lost your baby -- it is so hard to loose them under any circumstances, but when they're young and seem healthy is the worst.