Shamus goes into the confessional and says to his priest "I had an affair with a woman. . . almost."
Puzzled, he Priest asks, "What do you mean, almost?"
Shamus explains, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped" The Priest says, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say 5 Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box." Shamus leaves the confessional, says his prayers, then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave.
The Priest, who was watching, quickly runs over to him saying, "SHAMUS!!! I saw that you didn't put any money in the poor box!"
Shamus replies, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in.