joke of the day

[mrthrax]

i had this huge argument with my girlfriend last night,i called her a bitch and a whore and she yelled back you peadophile














i said thats a big word for a 10 year old!!!!

 

[timmyc]

Not bad Mr Thrax but you've come up with many much better!!!

 

[mrthrax]

Not bad Mr Thrax but you've come up with many much better!!!

thx mate i did cut the cut off a little,i was pissing myself for about half hour after someone at work told me.

i will try and top it i promise.

 

[PJ175]

i had this huge argument with my girlfriend last night,i called her a bitch and a whore and she yelled back you peadophile














i said thats a big word for a 10 year old!!!!

I Went to the butchers the other day.

I said to him "I bet You Fifty Pounds you cant reach the meat on the top shelf without ladders"

He declined the bet saying "Sorry , The Steaks are too high"

Booooooooooooooooo!!! Get Offfff!!!!

 

[PJ175]

I took My dog to the Vets the other day because its become "crosseyed"

The Vet Picked him Up and Looked closely into my dogs eyes...

He said "Im going to have to put him down"

I said " WHAT!!! Because hes Crosseyed"

He Said "No! Cos Hes Heavy"

Ive got more and they get worse!!!!

 

[GregadetH]

Shamus goes into the confessional and says to his priest "I had an affair with a woman. . . almost."
Puzzled, he Priest asks, "What do you mean, almost?"
Shamus explains, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped"
The Priest says, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say 5 Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."
Shamus leaves the confessional, says his prayers, then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave.
The Priest, who was watching, quickly runs over to him saying, "SHAMUS!!! I saw that you didn't put any money in the poor box!"
Shamus replies, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in.

 

[PJ175]

I went to the doctors the other day.

I said "Doctor, I cant stop singing Delila by Tom Jones"

He Said " Thats cos you have Tom Jones Syndrome"

I Said "Is It Common"

The Doc Said "Its Not Unusual"

Bum Bum!!!!

 

[GregadetH]

I could hear the Doc breakin' into song on that one.

 

[Gibba]

What's the difference between apple pie and pusssy?
















You can eat your mothers' apple pie.

 

[PJ175]

I was driving the other day when my boss called me . He said "Youve been promoted" .

In shock I nearly ran off the road....I swerved and just managed to keep control.

5 mins later he phones me again!!!

This time he said "Youve been promoted again cos im so pleased with your work that one promotion wasnt enough"

This time , The Car wobbled all over the place as I struggled but managed to keep control of the car from the surprising news I had just heard.

5 mins later..He Calls Me again and says "Im sorry ive made a mistake...2 promotions isnt good enough for you...........We want you to be a director!!!."

Well i couldnt keep control this time and I spun off and crashed into a tree.

A Few mins later the Police arrive. The Officer asks "What Happend"

And I told him....."I just Careered of the road!!!"

 

[PJ175]

They say 1 in 5 people are chinese!!!

Well!!! Theres 5 in my family.........so 1 of them must be...

Its not me ...So it must be either My Mum, My Dad, My older Brother Colin or My younger brother Ho-Cha-Choo-Chang......

I think its Colin!!!

 

[Bass Fellow]

With all the testimonials accusing Michael Jackson of child molestation he has decided to take the stand............it's the only way to make his nose grow!

 

[GregadetH]

What do Micheal Jackson, Target, Wal-Mart and K-Mart all have in common?














They're all known to have little boys pants half off.

 

[Bass Fellow]

What did the priest say to Michael Jackson........









"I saw him first!".

 

[augdawg2]

Shamus goes into the confessional and says to his priest "I had an affair with a woman. . . almost."
Puzzled, he Priest asks, "What do you mean, almost?"
Shamus explains, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped" The Priest says, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say 5 Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box." Shamus leaves the confessional, says his prayers, then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave.
The Priest, who was watching, quickly runs over to him saying, "SHAMUS!!! I saw that you didn't put any money in the poor box!"
Shamus replies, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in.

RUTHLESS!

Gregadeth rules!

AugDawg

 

[Mickenglanduk]

2 monkeys in a bathroom and one jumps in the bath and says " aw-ah-ah-ah-ah"

The other one says "well put some cold water in then!"



Stop throwing rotten tomatoes at me...

 

[GODOFMETAL]

JOKE - Michael Jackson:

Once a young boy was visiting Neverland Ranch,
coincidentally it was his 9th Birthday.
While the boy waited in line to meet Michael Jackson,
he mentioned it to the boy in front of him.


Finally his turn to meet Michael came and he decided
that he would see if he could guess his age.
The boy said to Michael, "I bet you a snow cone
that you can't guess my age".


"Let me see", Michael says and sticks his hand down
the boy's pants and plays with his testicles for about
15 minutes (squeezing them; moving them back and forth)
Michael remove his hand, and says, "You're 9 years old".

"How did you know?" the boy asked.

Michael replied, "The boy that was before you told me".

ANTHRAX - Music Of Mass Destruction! A Look Back. REUNION - Full Speed Ahead!