joke of the day

[mrthrax]

everyone enjoys a good laugh so lets get busy people


A very attractive lady goes into a bar in a quiet rural pub.She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immdiately.When he arrives she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers.
When he does she begins to gently caress his full beard."are you the manager?"she asks,softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually no"the man replied."Can u get him for me i need to speak to him"she says,running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid i can't"breathes the bartender,"is there anything i can do?"
"Yes there is ,i need you to give him a message,"she continues running her forefinger across the bartenders lips and slyly popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should i tell him?"the bartender manages to say.
"Tell him"she whispers,"there is no toilet paper ,hand soap or paper towels in the ladies room."

 

[beermonster]

......... TAXI!!!

 

[johnnieCzech]

Here is mine:

A guy comes up to a bar and sit next to a very attractive lady. He orders two drinks and then takes a FROG out of his pocket and put it on the table. The lady wonders, what the guy has the frog for. "Well," the guy says. "This frog is trained to lick pussy. In fact, he even likes it."
The lady, of course, doesn't believe. The guy says he can prove it to her, if she wants. She's so curious that she leads the guy with the frog to her place. There she lays upon a bed, legs wide open. He puts his frog right into the place and whispers: "Come on."
The frog does nothing.
The guy starts to be impatient. "Come on, you know how."
The frog apparently does nothing.
"Dammit," says the guy. "Sorry but I guess I'll have to show him, again."

 

[beermonster]

...And the winner is.....johnnieCzech!!
Have a beer dude! :BEER:

 

[Armored Thrax]

The extremely hot girl walks into the bar I was at last night and after ordering a drink, she walks over to me. I say hello. She says, "Hi my name is Carmen". I say, "well thats a beautiful name."

Carmen replies, "I love it, it represents the two things I love the most. Cars and Men"

I go....."nice to meet you Carmen.......my name is.......



BEERFUCK"

 

[Ragamuffin]

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?"
The father thought of it for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and ask your brother if he would sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learned from that."
So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars?"
The mother replied, "Of course I would! I wouldn't pass up an opportunity like that!"
Then the boy went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
The girl replied "Oh my God! I would just love to do that! I would be nuts to pass up an opportunity like that!"
The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars?"
"Of course!" the brother replied. "Do you know how much stuff a million dollars could buy?"
The boy pondered that for a few days then went back to his dad.
His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?"
The boy replied, "Yes sir. Potentially, we are sitting on three million dollars, but realistically, we are living with two sluts and a fag."

 

[mrthrax]

hahahaha cool joke ragamuffin

 

[johnnieCzech]

An European tourist just has flown to Jamaica and he goes to take a leak to an airport loo. There, a big black Jamaican stands next to him and pisses. The European takes his cock out and he's got the letters WY tattooed on it. The Jamaican spots it and asks why does he have it for. "I've got a girlfriend named Wendy," the European explains, "and when I get a hard-on, the whole name reveals." Suddenly the European sees that the Jamaican has the letters WY tattooed on his dick as well. "So you got the same idea, huh?" asks him, "Is your girlfriend's name Wendy as well?" "No," the Jamaican replies. "What I've got tattoed there is Welcome To Jamaica And Have A Nice Holiday"