Some of this stuff has been weighing on my mind ever since last week's rather animated discussion about it. Maybe I just got up on the wrong side of the planet this morning, but I'd like to talk again about a few things that really struck a chord.
I said in reply to one of Todd's earlier posts that "it's never long before the lifestyle you're stuck with becomes the one you choose because anything else seems like too much trouble". I was kidding at the time, but there's many a true word spoken in jest. The life I lead is in some ways a product of my own laziness and that's okay by me.
I'd now like to raise some of the points that Trent and Koich brought up.
1. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS
There seems to be an unspoken idea that living with your parents past the age of twenty is the vilest sin imaginable. Look no further than Seinfeld or Everybody Loves Raymond to see how deeply this concept is entrenched in Western popular culture. George and Robert were often portrayed as losers who couldn't cope with the big bad world just because of where and with whom they lived. So what? They had free room and board with none of the hassles of rent or a mortgage. As do I, for a whole host of very good reasons. There are a lot of things I can't do for myself because of poor co-ordination and mobility, which my mother has to help me out with. She's done a damn fine job with all that for nigh on three decades and I'd rather she did it than some brainless, inexperienced twit from a carer's agency. If things were different I'd like to live by myself (preferably somewhere in Canada or the UK), but what kind of a son would I be if I just took off and left her on her own after everything she's had to put up with?
2. GOING OUT
It takes a lot of planning and organisation to get me out of the house, which is why I prefer to stay there most of the time- concerts notwithstanding. I know where everything is and I'm in complete control. Once I step outside the safe haven (or "comfort zone" if you will) of my front door, I have to surrender that control and more often than not wind up with people I don't know or care about who don't interest me in the slightest. On the rare occasions I go to parties, I spend the entire time looking at my watch every two minutes, trying to melt into the wall, complaining about the choice of music or bitching about what I'm missing on TV. This is *not* because I'm nervous around people or social phobic. It's just because I'm bored out of my skull and would rather be somewhere else.
3. "REAL" FRIENDS
Just in case the above paragraph gives you the impression that I'm a total hermit, that's not the case. I have a solid network of friends who I trust, know well and catch up with whenever possible. The rest of the world I prefer to keep at arm's length because the more people and situations I get mixed up with, the less time I have for myself and the things I most like to do. Expanding your social circle is all well and good, but not if it comes at a price.
4. ALCOHOL
A lot of folk have told me over the years that I might be able to loosen up and enjoy unfamiliar social situations a bit more if I had a drink. Well quite frankly- FUCK OFF! If I don't want to be there in the first place I'm not going to change my mind no matter how much booze gets poured down my throat. I've been called immature and unsophisticated because I've never tried the stuff but that's fine. It's a drug like any other, that (at least to me) smells disgusting and can be just as dangerous or destructive as heroin if misused.
5. THE OPPOSITE SEX
Another unexplored horizon as far as I'm concerned. This isn't going to change in the forseeable future and that's okay with me. Even if I had the opportunity, I doubt I'd take it because in my eyes it's just not worth everything you have to compromise or give up altogether for the sake of a relationship. Even when things are going well, it still looks like damn hard work trying to keep it all together. Like I said before, I'm lazy. I simply don't *want* to work that hard. Even if I did, there's still a very good chance that any hypothetical partner of mine will decide to take off one day and leave me hanging. Not because she's a bad person, but just because she's human.
A lot of you will no doubt think I'm typing out of my arse after you've waded through all this. You might think I'm wrong and I'm not going to argue with you. I just thought I'd share what some of my experience has taught me, and maybe point out that someone else's idea of "life experience" is not all it's cracked up to be.
Okay. Spleen vented
. Move along...
W
I said in reply to one of Todd's earlier posts that "it's never long before the lifestyle you're stuck with becomes the one you choose because anything else seems like too much trouble". I was kidding at the time, but there's many a true word spoken in jest. The life I lead is in some ways a product of my own laziness and that's okay by me.
I'd now like to raise some of the points that Trent and Koich brought up.
1. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS
There seems to be an unspoken idea that living with your parents past the age of twenty is the vilest sin imaginable. Look no further than Seinfeld or Everybody Loves Raymond to see how deeply this concept is entrenched in Western popular culture. George and Robert were often portrayed as losers who couldn't cope with the big bad world just because of where and with whom they lived. So what? They had free room and board with none of the hassles of rent or a mortgage. As do I, for a whole host of very good reasons. There are a lot of things I can't do for myself because of poor co-ordination and mobility, which my mother has to help me out with. She's done a damn fine job with all that for nigh on three decades and I'd rather she did it than some brainless, inexperienced twit from a carer's agency. If things were different I'd like to live by myself (preferably somewhere in Canada or the UK), but what kind of a son would I be if I just took off and left her on her own after everything she's had to put up with?
2. GOING OUT
It takes a lot of planning and organisation to get me out of the house, which is why I prefer to stay there most of the time- concerts notwithstanding. I know where everything is and I'm in complete control. Once I step outside the safe haven (or "comfort zone" if you will) of my front door, I have to surrender that control and more often than not wind up with people I don't know or care about who don't interest me in the slightest. On the rare occasions I go to parties, I spend the entire time looking at my watch every two minutes, trying to melt into the wall, complaining about the choice of music or bitching about what I'm missing on TV. This is *not* because I'm nervous around people or social phobic. It's just because I'm bored out of my skull and would rather be somewhere else.
3. "REAL" FRIENDS
Just in case the above paragraph gives you the impression that I'm a total hermit, that's not the case. I have a solid network of friends who I trust, know well and catch up with whenever possible. The rest of the world I prefer to keep at arm's length because the more people and situations I get mixed up with, the less time I have for myself and the things I most like to do. Expanding your social circle is all well and good, but not if it comes at a price.
4. ALCOHOL
A lot of folk have told me over the years that I might be able to loosen up and enjoy unfamiliar social situations a bit more if I had a drink. Well quite frankly- FUCK OFF! If I don't want to be there in the first place I'm not going to change my mind no matter how much booze gets poured down my throat. I've been called immature and unsophisticated because I've never tried the stuff but that's fine. It's a drug like any other, that (at least to me) smells disgusting and can be just as dangerous or destructive as heroin if misused.
5. THE OPPOSITE SEX
Another unexplored horizon as far as I'm concerned. This isn't going to change in the forseeable future and that's okay with me. Even if I had the opportunity, I doubt I'd take it because in my eyes it's just not worth everything you have to compromise or give up altogether for the sake of a relationship. Even when things are going well, it still looks like damn hard work trying to keep it all together. Like I said before, I'm lazy. I simply don't *want* to work that hard. Even if I did, there's still a very good chance that any hypothetical partner of mine will decide to take off one day and leave me hanging. Not because she's a bad person, but just because she's human.
A lot of you will no doubt think I'm typing out of my arse after you've waded through all this. You might think I'm wrong and I'm not going to argue with you. I just thought I'd share what some of my experience has taught me, and maybe point out that someone else's idea of "life experience" is not all it's cracked up to be.
Okay. Spleen vented
. Move along...W
