today we had a "team building" brunch at Bob Evans.
they were doing an all you can eat breakfast.
as the team lead and some people were droning on and on about DMZs and firewall issues, I allowed my attentions to wander, as I am prone to do, when I saw two enormous women moving in the direction of the breakfast bar. Clearly, for these behemoths, an all you can eat offer is heaven-sent.
I watched in wrapt fascination as (and excuse me because I must use this term again because it is appropo) they approached the bar in an enveloping pincers movement, much as the nazi tank divisions employed at Kursk. Unlike german panzers, however, these women quickly enveloped the breakfast items like enormous amoebas. They stacked plates and bowls of tasty items on trays and quickly scuttled, crablike, to a table where they could covet their booty undisturbed.
One woman had an entire bowl filled with sausage links. She devoured them with lip-smacking efficiency and gusto, like a hound dining on fingers. the other woman had a stack of pancakes, poured syrup on them, and then covered the entire pile with powdered sugar! She carved into the stack like Paul Bunyan.
suddenly, my attention must have penetrated the deepest sectors of her cerebral cortex, and her head shot up, lasering in on me with dull, porcine eyes, which resembled chocolate morsels in a mound of cookie dough.
I was unable to tear my gaze away. oh, the horror.
she obviously, and mistakenly, thought I was a threat to her larder. One beefy arm curled protectively around her tray, as she glared threateningly at me.
the meeting then broke up, and I was quick to scamper away, secure in the fact that surely, nature had blessed me with more speed than the objects of my fascination.
that is all. but I may need to rebegin my regular visits to my psychiatrist.
they were doing an all you can eat breakfast.
as the team lead and some people were droning on and on about DMZs and firewall issues, I allowed my attentions to wander, as I am prone to do, when I saw two enormous women moving in the direction of the breakfast bar. Clearly, for these behemoths, an all you can eat offer is heaven-sent.
I watched in wrapt fascination as (and excuse me because I must use this term again because it is appropo) they approached the bar in an enveloping pincers movement, much as the nazi tank divisions employed at Kursk. Unlike german panzers, however, these women quickly enveloped the breakfast items like enormous amoebas. They stacked plates and bowls of tasty items on trays and quickly scuttled, crablike, to a table where they could covet their booty undisturbed.
One woman had an entire bowl filled with sausage links. She devoured them with lip-smacking efficiency and gusto, like a hound dining on fingers. the other woman had a stack of pancakes, poured syrup on them, and then covered the entire pile with powdered sugar! She carved into the stack like Paul Bunyan.
suddenly, my attention must have penetrated the deepest sectors of her cerebral cortex, and her head shot up, lasering in on me with dull, porcine eyes, which resembled chocolate morsels in a mound of cookie dough.
I was unable to tear my gaze away. oh, the horror.
she obviously, and mistakenly, thought I was a threat to her larder. One beefy arm curled protectively around her tray, as she glared threateningly at me.
the meeting then broke up, and I was quick to scamper away, secure in the fact that surely, nature had blessed me with more speed than the objects of my fascination.
that is all. but I may need to rebegin my regular visits to my psychiatrist.
