FAIRFIELD, Ill. Doris Thompson wants her baby Jesus back.
The elderly Fairfield woman says someone stole the 15-inch long plastic Jesus right out of its manger sometime Sunday night or Monday morning.
The plastic, lighted infant Jesus had been part of her front yard Nativity scene every year since sometime back in the 1960s.
"My late husband, Elmer, and I bought the set from Sears and Roebuck for about $130. We had been married for 47 years and put it up every Christmas," she said.
"What kind of dirty, lowdown varmint would steal the baby Jesus?"
Every morning since the figure was taken, Thompson has gone to the front yard to see if the thieves have been overcome with guilt and returned the figure.
"They pulled the light right out of his body, but left the cord and light bulb behind. They left the swaddling behind, too, but the manger is empty."
The Fairfield Police Department issued an appeal for a safe return of the Nativity figure through the county's CrimeStopper's program, with no results.
Then on Friday, Police Chief Brad Winter, as well as local news outlets, received a letter that contained a seemingly fake hostage demand. It was addressed as an "Open Letter to the People of Fairfield."
"We are the Local Reactionary Group called Townsfolk Are-a Reuniting them Damned Southerners or TARDS. We are responsible for the liberation of Doris Thompson's plastic baby Jesus this week. Our demands are simple, and if followed, no harm will come to baby Jesus."
In the letter, the pranksters demand that the local newspaper and radio station publish and broadcast a single word three times that some folks would find marginally offensive.
"If our demands are not met, we will be forced to issue orders to the rest of our cadre to apprehend other popular seasonal plastic icons such as Santa, the Easter Bunny and that green Irish Leprechaun guy from Saint Patrick's Day. When our demands are met, we will contact you with how and when you may retake possession of the plastic baby Jesus in question."
Winter said he is certain the letter is a prank, but nonetheless retained the document for "evidentiary purposes."
"It is our policy not to deal with terrorists or extremists of any kind. I appeal to all parties involved not to capitulate to the captors of the baby Jesus," Winter said.
Meanwhile, Thompson just wants her baby Jesus back.
"It sure would be nice to have baby Jesus back home in time for Christmas," she said.
Anyone with knowledge of who stole Thompson's Nativity figure or where it can be found is encouraged to phone the Wayne County CrimeStoppers hot line at (618) 842-9777.
