Marriage?
- Thread starter jauernis
- Start date
Skyweaver
Shred or Die !
Been married over 15 years (with 3 daughters).....first couple of years is a real cunt, after that you sorta settle down and get over the fact that your stuck together.....right now its the best decision I've ever made and wouldn't have it any other way, I've got a best friend and life partner and fuck buddy all in one - BUT we had to work at it.
In Australia she takes 50% (often more) of everything and the kids and you get to live in shared accommodation, because the maintenance is really high - divorce in any country would be fucked to go through....out of all my mates I went to school with, I'm the only one still married, and I've witnessed what they went through - seriously fuck that !
So if your going to do it, then do it - commit and don't stick your dick in anyone else
In Australia she takes 50% (often more) of everything and the kids and you get to live in shared accommodation, because the maintenance is really high - divorce in any country would be fucked to go through....out of all my mates I went to school with, I'm the only one still married, and I've witnessed what they went through - seriously fuck that !
So if your going to do it, then do it - commit and don't stick your dick in anyone else
I, personally, don't think I'm marriage material at all, so I get what you're saying. However, if you found someone you think you can stick it out with, don't let it go. Just make sure that you guys talk about shit and don't let it build up, and that both of you let your true feelings be shown before you build up a resentment that cant be reversed.
I feel gay now, I'm gonna go drink a beer.
I feel gay now, I'm gonna go drink a beer.
Ermz
¯\(°_o)/¯
^ Thanks mate, that's sold me on life-long bachelorhood!
Marriage feels like an artificial construct, which is probably why it doesn't hold too well down the track. There is nothing wrong with long-term relationships and monogamy, but putting a 'stamp' or label on it, you immediately make it into something more, which it really doesn't need to be. Everything gets tangled up into a mess, and if you gotta go and untangle it down the track you're a tad fucked.
Marriage feels like an artificial construct, which is probably why it doesn't hold too well down the track. There is nothing wrong with long-term relationships and monogamy, but putting a 'stamp' or label on it, you immediately make it into something more, which it really doesn't need to be. Everything gets tangled up into a mess, and if you gotta go and untangle it down the track you're a tad fucked.
aberration
Black/Doom/Crust/Hardcore
Why do you think the idea of marriage causes such anxiety? Is it a fear of missing out on something else? Cliche commitment issue?
I'm getting ready to celebrate my 8th anniversary, and though it does take a lot of work as Skyweaver said, it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm getting ready to celebrate my 8th anniversary, and though it does take a lot of work as Skyweaver said, it's the best decision I've ever made.
Morgan C
MAX LOUD PRESETS¯\(°_o)/¯
I started my new job about 3 weeks ago, and there's a 22 year old chick there who's already married, and a 21 year old guy who's about to propose. They're both Indian, so maybe the values are different, but I can't see any marriage starting in your early 20's being on that will last, or be happy. I feel really sorry for the 21 year old guy, to be honest his girlfriend sounds like a total bitch (he's only "allowed" to play 2 hours of video games a day, and she "expects" AT LEAST a fucking $8k ring and he's still at Uni).
Add to that that two families that I've known for almost my entire life just went through divorces last year (one family I think was just over it, the other the guy had been cheating).. I dunno. My parents are still married and I do think it can work, but you have to choose the right person, and then stick at it. Especially if you end up having kids, a nasty divorce will just fuck them up.
Add to that that two families that I've known for almost my entire life just went through divorces last year (one family I think was just over it, the other the guy had been cheating).. I dunno. My parents are still married and I do think it can work, but you have to choose the right person, and then stick at it. Especially if you end up having kids, a nasty divorce will just fuck them up.
Skyweaver
Shred or Die !
I was 29, my wife was 25 and we had 3 kids, couldn't afford, anything except food and rent (just)....for 2 years I had to work 2 jobs just get ahead and sell everything I had car, scuba gear, guitars etc, no bands, no music - around 7 years later it started to turn the corner, and things got better and better - now things are fuckn awesome, so it really depends on how you want to tackle it.
2 guys I know have just had twins at 40 ! ...fuck I couldn't stand having a baby in the house at 40 ! but thats me
the longer you leave it the harder it gets.....
2 guys I know have just had twins at 40 ! ...fuck I couldn't stand having a baby in the house at 40 ! but thats me
the longer you leave it the harder it gets.....
DanLights
Santa Hat Forever
jangoux
Member
- May 9, 2006
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Well, I am married for two years, and together with my wife for 8 years (or 7? Well...the band begun 11 years ago, so we are kinda together for this time). Marriage is tough, man. It is hard to share a life, share space, share EVERYTHING. And when bills and anything unexpected come, the difficulty multiplies by 50. My wife has threatened to leave me like a dozen times, and I just can't imagine my life without her and the kids (well, I can, but it would feel like emptyness. I live my life for them - everything I do is for them, so not doing this would just...make my life hollow). It is very tough, but I wouldnt trade it for anything - I'd just feel like a loser, being almost 30 and well...being alone. But that's just me, as I always wanted to have a family and stuff, but never found anyone worth it before my wife. It is awesome to be married but you gotta know if it is for you.
DanLights
Santa Hat Forever
Loren Littlejohn
Lover of all boobage.
Arsenu,
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had a girlfriend for almost 4 years, we were togheter since hige school and lasted almost my entire service in the army.
fucking bitch she should burn in hell and i'll be dancing on her grave. now i'm alone for 6 monthes and torn between loving it and hating it.
eventually, tough, it's fucking awesome! just need a way to get girls not to stay over for the night haha.....
fucking bitch she should burn in hell and i'll be dancing on her grave. now i'm alone for 6 monthes and torn between loving it and hating it.
eventually, tough, it's fucking awesome! just need a way to get girls not to stay over for the night haha.....
JeffTD
Senhor Testiculo
jangoux
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I have two huge examples if how you really need to like and see yourself married or you'll screw up your life: my father and my wife (really..). My father was like most of you guys. He liked to travel a lot (he is a photographer), and in one of those trips, he knew my mother. To make a long story short, they made me, got together, and soon he had a family, and with it a lot of responsibilities. He hated it, his constant trips ended, now he had bills to pay, a son to feed, soon had a 'real' job, I grew seeing them both having a miserable relationship, and now they barely talk to each other, with him constantly blaming her for his shitty life. Ok, his fault too, but you got the idea. Bottom line, he wanted a free lifestyle and ended up stuck with a wife and kids. Wife and kids demand attention, so if you dont want to give that, forget marriage.
As for my wife, I just got lazy, and I am too tired to write atm ehhe
As for my wife, I just got lazy, and I am too tired to write atm ehhe
I tried it...married a girl that I had dated for 6 years, and lived with for 3 years prior. Didn't work out b/c I'm WAYYYY too independent for that and pretty much suck at being a husband. Never again.
Metal Overload
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- Sep 8, 2005
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I liking it so far, a lot! but it is hard, like skyweaver said, the first years, but let me tell you, once you got a child, all that change, being a father is the maximum joy, is the best thing in the universe.
Harry Hughes
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- Apr 25, 2009
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I've been single for ages now. out of choice.
The idea of married life, kinda scares me really. Being around a chick practically everyday when you're at home, would probably just get on my nerves.
I'd just like to be able to find someone that understands I enjoy solitude, to have the time to listen to the music I enjoy in peace, to be able to watch films by myself etc. I'm just a natural introvert really.
I've been with pretty needy/clingy girls in the past, and never ever again will I go down that road. If you're going to make me give up the time I enjoy playing guitar, watching films, listening to music etc, go take a hike.
I guess if the partner has their own passions and serious hobbies, they'll understand it a lot more, and hell they'll probably want their solitude too.
Until I find someone like that, I don't see myself getting into a serious committed relationship any time soon.
The idea of married life, kinda scares me really. Being around a chick practically everyday when you're at home, would probably just get on my nerves.
I'd just like to be able to find someone that understands I enjoy solitude, to have the time to listen to the music I enjoy in peace, to be able to watch films by myself etc. I'm just a natural introvert really.
I've been with pretty needy/clingy girls in the past, and never ever again will I go down that road. If you're going to make me give up the time I enjoy playing guitar, watching films, listening to music etc, go take a hike.
I guess if the partner has their own passions and serious hobbies, they'll understand it a lot more, and hell they'll probably want their solitude too.
Until I find someone like that, I don't see myself getting into a serious committed relationship any time soon.
sprack
Thread Killer
I'll have been married 14yrs on the 8th. Marriage didn't feel like work until we had kids. Before that we had a lot more time to do our own thing. One thing that's helped is keeping finances separate. We have a joint account that money goes into to pay the bills right away. She has her own money and I have mine and there's never a question of where it goes. That has dodged a lot of the arguments our friends have. We've also worked hard at being friends first. That means space and boundaries. That took a long time to build. We approach it like constantly dating each other, thought that's not always possible with time constraints.
I'd say if you don't want kids, don't get married. There's really no reason otherwise. If you do get married, elope and spend it on a lavish honeymoon. That'll be far more memorable and less painful. And if you do get married, get a pre-nup.
I'd say if you don't want kids, don't get married. There's really no reason otherwise. If you do get married, elope and spend it on a lavish honeymoon. That'll be far more memorable and less painful. And if you do get married, get a pre-nup.
