Mastered By Muppets

[Harvester]

I saw this bit of genius originally over at the Portnoy forum:





http://rapidshare.com/files/165747421/Masteredbymuppets.mp3

This was made by a bunch of people on the Andy Sneap forum.


MASTERED BY MUPPETS (lyrics by Dan Weapon)

End of session day, Rubin works away:
I'm your source of song-destruction
Tunes that hurt you ear, poor sound engineer
Leaving spikes on my instruction
Trust me you will see
Volume’s all you need
Dedicated to
How I'll limit you

Compressing faster
Limit your Master
Your albums sell faster
With a loud Master
Master

Mastered by muppets, brickwalling your dreams
Clipping, distorting and smashing extremes
Ruined by me, you can't hear a thing…
Just spiking snares, and auto-tuned screams
Mastered
Mastered
Rubin’s my name, and I'll hear you scream
Bastard
Bastard

Need to mix this way, never you dismay
”Loud” makes death magnetic clearer
Gain monopoly, ritual Waves L3
Squash your tracks til it’s severe
Gate and you will see
More and more dB
Dedicated to
How I’m killing you

Compressing faster
Limit your Master
Your albums sell faster
With a loud Master
Master

Mastered by muppets, brickwalling your dreams
Clipping, distorting and smashing extremes
Ruined by me, you can't hear a thing…
Just spiking snares, and auto-tuned screams
Mastered
Mastered
Rubin’s my name, and I'll hear you scream
Bastard
Bastard

Master, Master, where's the version I've been after?
Bearded, Bastard, you promised only lies
Blaster, Blaster, recorded on a ghetto blaster?
Laughter, laughter, laughing at those highs
Spike to me!

Lars ain’t worth all that – “natural” kick and hats
Kirk adds wah without a reason
Never ending phrase, Jaymz goes on for days
Rob, your shirt is out of season…
I’ll record til 5 (then)
I will help you buy
Sandals that suit you
Now you look cool too

 

[BlindPanzer]

Brilliant. The lyrics and the production are top notch.

 

[Azrael LenGraden]

HAAHAHAHA

 

[kellsco]

I saw that over there.....those guys did a great job.

"”Loud” makes death magnetic clearer"

 

[mel_progson]

lmao@ the last verse

"Kirk adds wah without a reason"

"I will help you buy
Sandals that suit you
Now you look cool too"

Love it.

 

[Kong]

Were my ears deceiving me or was there actually bass guitar in that mix?.....nah, couldn't be!

Hilarious!

 

[Glenn Fricker]

Were my ears deceiving me or was there actually bass guitar in that mix?.....nah, couldn't be!

Hilarious!

<takes a bow>
I tried very hard to make the bass audible.


Thanks for the kind words, guys!
If you're interested in how it was done & who was involved, you can check it out here: http://www.ultimatemetal.com/forum/andy-sneap/446520-mastered-muppets-final.html#post7813609

 

[J-Dubya 777]

Stellar! & fookin' hilarious too!

 

[Stingray11214]

You guys are sick!

 

[Metalmilitia2000]

Holy shit, that is hilarious!

 

[Pellaz]

hahahahahahha, that's great. And, sadly, so very true nowadays.

How hard is it for producers and mastering engineers to realize that the music has to have room to "breathe"?

 

[dan weapon]

www.myspace.com/clippingdeath

Here's the myspace site, feel free to go around and blab about this wherever you can.

Cheers!

 

[Iced Dog]

brilliant

 

[Felix Neumann]

Dan, you are the man ! Fuckin´great job, dude.

edit: I like it, how you´ve realized the Black Album artwork..loooool

 

[Diamond45]

Sadly that's why a lot of music that might have sounded good now sounds really really bad.

I'm glad that most independent labels don't use compression on their CDs - or am I just imagining a CD without compression?

That song and Myspace page gave me a laugh! I needed that after a rough day at work! That song was very well produced! Kudos to Dan!

Deaf Magnetic? Sounds about right!

 

[Chrisf]

MUST PLAY AT NEXT YEAR'S FEST (on the PA)!!!!!

 

[Felix Neumann]

Here we go:

 

[Pellaz]

Crud, I was all ready to play that on WREKage, except the "motherf***r" part came up.

Still awesome.

 

[Jibrille]

Crud, I was all ready to play that on WREKage, except the "motherf***r" part came up.

Still awesome.

It's a quick edit if you have any type of audio editing software. Even my ringtone maker would allow me to do it but I'm at work w/o the software.