ok, so....i've had a compulsion to eat weird things since i can remember. see, i need to try things AT LEAST once. if i don't eat it, then i spend years and years regretting it, and wondering what it tasted like. plus, it expands your experience of the wonderful sense called TASTE. for example, if i taste eat a rotting pickle then i can safely say "dude, this tastes exactly like a flap of formaldehyded fetal pig skin!" and know it's true. guessing is for pussies.
during my childhood, i was one of those bug-eater girls. i would shove worms and crickets and baby bees into my mouth without hesitation. i no longer eat insects now, because to tell you the truth, they all sort of taste the same - spicy. the highlight of this era was the consumption of a spider egg sac. i was trying to chew really really fast to kill them because having millions of arachnids crawling around your mouth is disturbing. that was some really fucking frantic chewing. ok hi! spicy!
then there was high school, where the best experimentation took place due to biology class. i had sworn to my classmates that i would eat every single experiment that was conducted. this ranged from lima beans, fruit fly larvae (it pops! and then is spicy.), ten year old liver extract... and that's right!!! FETAL PIG SKIN FLAP!
for demonstrative purposes here is my bio 2 end of the year report. yes, i only happened to sign up for this course because of the fetal pig dissection. i attempted to create a bipedal pig-creature thing by fusing it's head to it's hind legs. also, i cut off it's jaw, so it hung all slack. it looked pretty neat, actually. and i made it walk. but i did puke a lot, and i probably melted away part of my esophagus.
notice the "i have never seen anyone derive so much enjoyment from dissecting a fetal pig." mister raccioppi was a good trooper. he had a great mustache that somehow looked like it was fused to his upper teeth though.
ok anyhow. highschool, right? i drank a cannister consisting of pasta leftovers, water, batteries, and perfume. that was a disgusting concoction, but it came in useful when i happened to eat this weird fruit in japan that tasted exactly like said concoction.
french trip, highschool. sometimes my compulsion gets me sick, as you can imagine. we were touring an ancient castle on the outskirts of paris. the tourguide made a comment, "eef you breathe in zis castle deeply, some people are known to get sick. the bacteria on ze walls is so old here." gah, i made him sound like dracula, but imagine that in a french accent, please.
so what do i do? i am stupid. i licked the fucking wall.
bedridden for two days. plus, i missed the tour of the eiffel tower. i visited the eiffel tower last year again with my mother, and we woke up with hangovers, completley naked on the bed together, covered in salmon fish puke bits, but that's a story for another day.
earlier in japan this year, i ate the following:
1. a bowl of chicken hearts
2. a fish face. a giant one.
3. sea cucumber intestines
4. crab brains
5. eel livers. another bowl of them.
6. baby bees
see, it's interesting trying these foods out. and it's not especially a 'japanese' thing to eat these dishes.
it's because my aunt and uncle and crazy.
they made this half-schizophrenic decision to begin eating the internal organs of various animals because they believe that
a. since most other animals, for example whales, eat fish whole (intestines, face, gall bladder, etc.) or lions who eat most of their kill, then this is what seems to be 'natural.'
b. humans one of the few animals who actually select which parts they would like to consume. and put the organs to waste.
so
this leads to:
we should eat SEA CUCUMBER INTESTINES?!
they were disgusting. they were like day-glo orange watery boogers.
anyway, so there. i now have an expansive taste lexicon.
during my childhood, i was one of those bug-eater girls. i would shove worms and crickets and baby bees into my mouth without hesitation. i no longer eat insects now, because to tell you the truth, they all sort of taste the same - spicy. the highlight of this era was the consumption of a spider egg sac. i was trying to chew really really fast to kill them because having millions of arachnids crawling around your mouth is disturbing. that was some really fucking frantic chewing. ok hi! spicy!
then there was high school, where the best experimentation took place due to biology class. i had sworn to my classmates that i would eat every single experiment that was conducted. this ranged from lima beans, fruit fly larvae (it pops! and then is spicy.), ten year old liver extract... and that's right!!! FETAL PIG SKIN FLAP!
for demonstrative purposes here is my bio 2 end of the year report. yes, i only happened to sign up for this course because of the fetal pig dissection. i attempted to create a bipedal pig-creature thing by fusing it's head to it's hind legs. also, i cut off it's jaw, so it hung all slack. it looked pretty neat, actually. and i made it walk. but i did puke a lot, and i probably melted away part of my esophagus.
notice the "i have never seen anyone derive so much enjoyment from dissecting a fetal pig." mister raccioppi was a good trooper. he had a great mustache that somehow looked like it was fused to his upper teeth though.
ok anyhow. highschool, right? i drank a cannister consisting of pasta leftovers, water, batteries, and perfume. that was a disgusting concoction, but it came in useful when i happened to eat this weird fruit in japan that tasted exactly like said concoction.
french trip, highschool. sometimes my compulsion gets me sick, as you can imagine. we were touring an ancient castle on the outskirts of paris. the tourguide made a comment, "eef you breathe in zis castle deeply, some people are known to get sick. the bacteria on ze walls is so old here." gah, i made him sound like dracula, but imagine that in a french accent, please.
so what do i do? i am stupid. i licked the fucking wall.
bedridden for two days. plus, i missed the tour of the eiffel tower. i visited the eiffel tower last year again with my mother, and we woke up with hangovers, completley naked on the bed together, covered in salmon fish puke bits, but that's a story for another day.
earlier in japan this year, i ate the following:
1. a bowl of chicken hearts
2. a fish face. a giant one.
3. sea cucumber intestines
4. crab brains
5. eel livers. another bowl of them.
6. baby bees
see, it's interesting trying these foods out. and it's not especially a 'japanese' thing to eat these dishes.
it's because my aunt and uncle and crazy.
they made this half-schizophrenic decision to begin eating the internal organs of various animals because they believe that
a. since most other animals, for example whales, eat fish whole (intestines, face, gall bladder, etc.) or lions who eat most of their kill, then this is what seems to be 'natural.'
b. humans one of the few animals who actually select which parts they would like to consume. and put the organs to waste.
so
this leads to:
we should eat SEA CUCUMBER INTESTINES?!
they were disgusting. they were like day-glo orange watery boogers.
anyway, so there. i now have an expansive taste lexicon.
