My white trash neighbors

[Ominous Luminous]

So today my mom informed me that when I leave that I need to be careful where I back up, because my neighbor has decided to put a 4x4 with spikes in it in his bark garden. I've backed up onto his bark garden a few times on accident, but I see no reason for him to do this shit. First of all he has shit strewn all about his yard already ie broken boards, several delapitated cars, and various other unsightly objects. He has also done various retarted things to my house. Once his son was backing his delivery truck up our road and knocked out the power. Another time he had a van of his up on blocks so that he could fix it, and it rolled down their slanted driveway and toppled our chimney.
What should I do to him?

 

[FalseTodd]

Move.

 

[chupe666]

What's a bark garden?

(seriously)

 

[Ominous Luminous]

A bark garden is a garden filled with bark. I don't think there are any plants in this thing. But he considers it his garden.

 

[chupe666]

So, it's basically a plot of land, measured off, and covered with mulch?

 

[BigFakeSmile]

yes, and protected by spikes, dont forget

 

[Ominous Luminous]

What's a mulch?

 

[xfer]

Obviously, take the spikes one night. When he replaces them, repeat. Do it until he stops.

Some dickhead neighbours on my street "save" street parking spots with orange cones, which leads to situations where you see nine or ten open (but saved) spots and have nowhere to park your own car. One of them tried squatting on the spot in front of my house, and we stole the cone 3 times before he got the picture.

 

[chupe666]

Originally posted by xfer
Obviously, take the spikes one night. When he replaces them, repeat. Do it until he stops.

Some dickhead neighbours on my street "save" street parking spots with orange cones, which leads to situations where you see nine or ten open (but saved) spots and have nowhere to park your own car. One of them tried squatting on the spot in front of my house, and we stole the cone 3 times before he got the picture.

Oh, that totally happens in Chicago, but only when it snows. you shovel out a spot, you better put something in it when you leave it, or it's gone. not that that really helps to put something in the spot- that's how my deck chairs got stolen (along with my spot).


and the taking of the spikes: genius.

 

[The Dope]

Originally posted by Ominous Luminous
What's a mulch?

Mulch is....well....bark. So the stuff that you call a bark garden is mulch. See, everyone's correct here.

 

[avi]

I think the muderous intent of this thread has been played down too much.

 

[azal]

mulch is for lazy people who don't want to mow their lawn....and an appalling notion to any respectful suburbanite.

 

[The Dope]

Mulch is also for.....yes that's right.....people who can't grow grass in their yard.

 

[The Dope]

It's like the comb-over of the lawn care world.

 

[azal]

more like a wig.....a comb over would be like letting one half of your lawn grow so the blades are all 20 feet long and then using some kind of adhesive to cover your entire yard with the long grassy part....which if you think about it...is awful silly.

 

[The Dope]

I was thinking a lawn wig would be like getting sod put down in the bare patches. So maybe mulch is like an ever-present hat on a balding guy? I'm not sure anymore.

 

[The Dope]

Oh wait I know, maybe it's the spray-on shit that supposedly fills in the thinning areas.

 

[The Dope]

Or maybe just the hat.

 

[azal]

yes this has become far to confusing.....bringing sod into the equation is blowing my mind...because, sod looks far to real and good to be a wig...so it would be more like a hair transplant.

 

[The Dope]

Good point.