Now for Something Completely Different

[Wyvern]

Several jokes about musicians...guess that people in bands will find them amusing

1.-
what's the similarities between a storm and a drum solo?
that you never really know when they are coming

2.-
how many guitarrists do you need to unscrew a light bulb?
8! 1 doing the job and the other 7 looking and saying "yeah, I know how to do that too"

3.-
how many bassists do you need to unscrew a light bulb?
who cares...nobody notices them anyway

4.-
A drummer decides to become a guitarrist. He enters a shop and says
drummer: hi, I want an Ibanez guitar with floyd rose, a 100Watt marshall amplifier and a distortion pedal.
Clerk: you are a drummer, aren't you?
drummer: yeah, why?
clerk: because this is a bakery

 

[USMC0341]

Why are the streets in France lined with trees?

So invading armies can march in the shade!!!!!

 

[RideForVengance]

The new French Tanks have 6 gears... 5 in reverse, and one forwards incase the enemy attacks from behind.

 

[Mxgonzo]

Q. How can you tell when the drum riser is level?


A. When Drool is coming out both sides of the drummer's mouth.

 

[Wyvern]

How many old school metal fans does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change it, and all the rest to talk about how they liked the old bulb better.

 

[Hawk]

Very good one Wyv!!

 

[USMC0341]

The new French Tanks have 6 gears... 5 in reverse, and one forwards incase the enemy attacks from behind.

Classic...

 

[USMC0341]

How many old school metal fans does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change it, and all the rest to talk about how they liked the old bulb better.

That's a good one...very clever.

JB

 

[JonnyD]

Heres something Stupid ... Would you send this Jackass money?

http://savetoby.com/

 

[#1_Droogie]

wow.... either that guy is really smart or the rest of the country is really fuckin stupid

 

[Igor_Cavalera]

How many singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One to stand and hold it while the world revolves around them.

 

[Igor_Cavalera]

A drummer decides to become a guitarrist. He enters a shop and says
drummer: hi, I want an Ibanez guitar with floyd rose, a 100Watt marshall amplifier and a distortion pedal.
Clerk: you are a drummer, aren't you?
drummer: yeah, why?
clerk: because this is a bakery

That's brilliant!
Although, being a drummer, I should be beating you with a baseball bat

 

[Hawk]

Beat on the brat, beat on the brat...

 

[Mxgonzo]

Beat on the brat, beat on the brat...

With a Baseball bat! Oh Yeah! Oh Yeah!

Sorry! Just had to sing-a-long. Love The Ramones!

 

[Hawk]

With a Baseball bat! Oh Yeah! Oh Yeah!

Sorry! Just had to sing-a-long. Love The Ramones!

Me too! They ruled! Saw them twice, last time during their farewell tour. Man they were really great.

 

[Mxgonzo]

For some reason I never did. Every time they came around I had something to do so I just told myself "I see them next time they come". Now I'm sorry I didn't make the time for them.

 

[Hawk]

For some reason I never did. Every time they came around I had something to do so I just told myself "I see them next time they come". Now I'm sorry I didn't make the time for them.

I know the feeling. Believe me

 

[Wyvern]

That's brilliant!
Although, being a drummer, I should be beating you with a baseball bat

Would you beat your poor old dad?
**********************************************************

A Scotsman is on holiday in New York City.


It's a balmy spring day and he is wearing a kilt.

A young woman comes up to him and boldly asks him if anything is worn beneath the kilt. "No lassie" he replies, "everything is in fine working order."

 

[zeppelin]

 

[Igor_Cavalera]

Would you beat your poor old dad?

Not with a base ball bat, a cricket bat's the Aussie way!
Just kidding Wyv!

Beat on the brat, beat on the brat...

Hey Hawk! I haven't asked you yet, are you enjoying being moderator?