OSA FanFic: Bugs Bunny in "The Tarja and the Hare"

[Stingray11214]

Friends;

This piece of Fan Fiction is done in the spirit of good fun. Any persons, if real, are used to honor those persons. So, without further ado:


BUGS BUNNY IN

"The Tarja and the Hare"

SCENE ONE:

(We go to an office-type room, out from under the walls comes the track of a burrowing creature. The burrowing takes a curve, and out pops Bugs Bunny, with arms raised.)

BB: (Smiling) Ah, tea time in jolly ol' England! Well, now its on to...(Looking perplexed) Hey, this don't look like London. Eep, (takes bite of carrot) lemme look at my map. (Opens up map) Oh, drat it! I KNEW I should have made that left turn at Albuquerque. Oh, well, now that I am here, lemme check this place out.

(Bugs walks out of hole, and follows the corridor, where he sees many posters of musicians along the walls)
BB: (Nibbles on carrot) Eep, this must be some type of music hall. I wonder when the next show is?

(Bugs continues down the corridor, and he sees a man talking on a telephone in the office. On the man's desk is a plate that reads "Sr. M. Cabuli, Presidente". Bugs proceeds to go to that office to see if he is going right to England.)

Marcelo: (into phone) Si. Si. Correct, $250,000 Euros is the price. Si. No.
(Gets interrupted by Bugs)
BB: Eep, (nibbles on carrot) Pardon me, Doc. (Marcelo puts down phone)But could you give me the most direct route to Buckingham Palace in jolly ol' England?
Marcelo: (Stunned) Buckingham Palace?!? (Runs from his desk off screen. Comes back on with a shotgun pointed at Bugs chest) There IS no Buckingham Palace in Arhentina!
BB: (Shocked) ARGENTINA?!? Yikes!
(Marcelo fires a blast that goes between BB's ears. BB starts running, with bullets flying above him. Marcelo stops and looks around.)
MARCELO: (Head turning) OK, you rabbit, where are you?
BB: (Up on a framed poster) YOOHOO! Don Joowon!
MARCELO: (Looking up) Come down here this minute, so I can shoot you!
BB: OK. Here I come.
(Bugs proceed to drop an anvil on Marcelo's head. Anvil flattens Marcelo. Marcelo then extends arm, and moves arm up and down and re-raises his body like a jack.)
MARCELO: (red faced) Why you crazy rabbit! I am going to...(gets phone call on cell) Come estas? (Starts sweating) Yes, dear. (wipes sweat from brow) Yes, dear. (Plays with Yo-yo) Yes, dear. (Gulps) But, sweetie pie, where am I going to get a.. (gulps) Yes, dear. Right away dear. (Puts away phone and faces camera) Now, where does my wife expect me to get a rabbit now? I cannot....Oh..Wait!
(Bugs is trying for the exit, but Marcelo calls for him.) Oh, Mr. Bunny. Senor Bunny Rabbit. (Bugs stops and looks back) Oh, please don't be frightened, Senor Rabbit. I am so sorry for how I acted (Camera to full facial of Bugs) I would like to make it up to you. (Marcelo bends down and kisses Bugs' feet. Full camera shot to Bugs raising a cardboard picture of a screw and a baseball and pointing another finger at Marcelo.)
BB: (sniffs and points to Marcelo) Get him. A regular maroon.
MARCELO: You see, my wife is the World's most famous singer, Tarja Turunen. She would like to have you for, er, invite you to dinner.
BB: OK. Why not?
(Bugs goes off screen, and come back on wearing a top hat and tails)
BB: Shall we go? (Takes Marcelo's arm, and they both walk off screen)

SCENE TWO Tomorrow.

 

[Stingray11214]

SCENE TWO:

(Bugs Bunny and Marcelo enter the house. Marcelo takes Bugs' jakcet and brings him in.)

MARCELO: (Grinning) Senor Rabbit, in our country, we have special tub for guests to wash for dinner.
(Shows BB black pot as the "tub")
BUGS: Aww, for me Doc? (grinning, and slaps Marcelo on back) You shouldn't have. (Bugs climbs in.)

(Meanwhile, Tarja is practicing with a singing coach in the other room. Scene shifts to the other room.)
TARJA: (Singing) Me, Me, Me, Meeeeeeeee. (piano note plays) Me, Me, Me, Meeeeeeeeee. (She turns to hear the commotion in the other room.) (Shouts) Marcelo! Marcelo! Where is my rabbit?
MARCELO: (Sweating) Coming, dear. (Bugs is washing in the pot, and Marcelo puts top of pot on. He then carries pot and put it on table in front of a sitting Tarja) Your rabbit, my sweet.
TARJA: (Grinning with knife and fork in hand) Oh, good. (Moves hand to pot top handle) Now, for my rabbit.
(Tarja lifts pot top, and a cream pie hits her square in the face. Tarja wipes the cream from her eyes, and looks into camera. Scowls, and turns to Marcelo)
TARJA: (Angrily) Marcelo, what is this? Some kind of joke?
MARCELO: (GRINNING, with teeth showing, and sweating) n-n-no, my sweet.
TARJA: (Angrily) Well, then go get me my rabbit! (Takes pot top, and smashes it over Marcelo's head, with an Asian gong going off on impact, turning the top into an Asain farmer's coned hat. Marcelo puts hand together afterwards)
MARCELO: Oh, so sorry. Most regrettable incident. Will get rabbit right away.

(Bugs runs into corridor. He is being chased by Marcelo)
BUGS: I gota get out of this place.
MARCELO: (Angrily) Come back here, you rabbit!
(Bugs dives into another corridor. Marcelo runs past, and Bugs sticks foot out and trips Marcelo over. Marcelo spins and crashes into wall. Bugs then runs the other way. Bugs runs into Marcelo, who puts him in a bag. Marcelo brings the bag into the kitchen, when he hears Tarja.)
TARJA: (Calling) Marcelo! Marclo!. Where is my rabbit?
(Marcelo looks in the direction of Tarja's voice. Runs to the stove, and throws the bag in)
MARCELO: The rabbit is in the stove, my dear.
TARJA: (Smiles) Good! Let me see.
(Tarja walks over to the stove and opens the stove door. A cannon pushes out, and fires a shot at Tarja. Tarja comes out from the cloud of smoke dirty and with scratches on her face.)

TBC