OT: I thought this was funny.

Silmarillion*

Yes... awesome.

Not to provoke a horrible religious showdown but I'd sooner worship Illuvatar than god.
 
Thraxz said:
Tess of the D'Urbervilles (A literary wankfest of pinky in the air vocabulary masturbation).
that book bored the hell out of me until the ending.

not all men love war. personally i think it's a waste of time. i think the dude's parts are just as bad as the girls, as neither one really tells a story. she's on about choosing tea (how superfluous) and he starts throwing around terminology unexplained, undetailed, and generally pointless to giving the character any depth. i'd fail them both, but the bit at the end is laughable enough, that's for sure.
 
I would've passed them both just for the bit at the end. Then again, I'm an idiot. Gary's parts were awesome. It sounded like something that Master Shake would've writ.
 
Silent Song said:
not all men love war. personally i think it's a waste of time.

I never said all men love war...

Thinking it's a waste of time is ok, so long as you cool with yourself and have come to terms with it.
 
But still. You'd rarely expect a part like that to come from a chick, especially one who writes about tea and people named Carl. No offense to any Carls out there, who I may have offended. Especially the Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. (Assemble!)
 
Gary was equally retarded. I was waiting for him to write a paragraph about how the Ninja Turtles sprang out from the gutter to go fight the Transformers.
 
From reading it I could tell that he was (I hope) intentionally writing that stuff just to piss off Rebecca, but his ideas weren't much better.

As for the sig, it's the artwork from Blood On Ice. Thanks :)
 
This is just pure awesomeness, copy and pasted for your convenience, taken from http://tofslie.com/files/dearbrad.html:


-----Original Message-----
From: [mailto:*******
Sent: Monday, October 24, 2005 9:50 AM
To: ******
Subject: ugh

Brad,

It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I
feel like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I
am truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the
people in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person
that I would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all
for anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to say all
of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can
handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even
handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us, what I can't
handle is thinking that you see me as a different person. It is weird,
I feel like I just went through a horrible break up or something. The
world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid me,
there are songs I can't listen to, and I just ! feel beyond crushed. I
don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping
that you didn't. I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also
hoping that this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds
totally crazy and stupid, but you have come to play such a significant
role in my life, I can't imagine my days without you. It is totally
strange and weird to say that, and you could say that my behavior
didn't reflect that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you
hate me, and I hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a
terrible person, because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say
or do to take back what happened, but I just want you to know that
fighting with you was just about the worst thing I could have ever
imagined. It was right up there with one of the ugliest nights of my
life, and I would give anything in the world to rewind and fix it.

I am not sure if you will respond to this, part of me thinks that you
won't. If not today, then maybe some other time. Also, thanks for
getting my stuff together, although I think my sunglasses are still at
your house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them that would be
great. I can't even focus or work today, I can't eat, I seriously feel
like it was an ugly break up, and I am hoping against hopes that it
was not that and you are not done with me. Please don't cut me off, I
really don't think I can handle that.

I am so sorry.

Elizabeth

The Reply:
-----Original Message-----
Sent: Monday, October 24, 2005 12:02 PM
Subject: Re: Ugh....enjoy.

Dear Elizabeth,

Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L"
for "Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less
about".

You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting
to carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a load
of whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45
minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long
because you ate too much bran that morning isn't as much a "Stupid
thing" as it is grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar.

To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went and
degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 hour
span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't Fuck
him" somehow gave you a clean slate.

So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world "looked funny" to
you yesterday. Since your world revolves around blow dryers, golden
retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been
most unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings
for 24 hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don't
think you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run
of the mill cum-guzzling blond who commands about as much respect as
your average child porn collector. I could be wrong but, it's pretty
hard to respect some B&T chick who comes out to spend the night at my
place even though she's seeing someone else in New jersey and winds up
tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who decides 30 minutes of droning
commentary on Colin Farrell's new haircut is worth putting up with for
a hand job in the men's room. The good thing about being a guy is that
when I eventually bump into the young lad who finger-blasted you on
top of a towel dispenser last saturday, we'll have a shot and laugh
our heads off about the time it happened.

By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class
you really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs
you do. Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little
like watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.

PS. I BCC'd about 100 people on this email.

Talk to you never,
Brad
 
YARGH... look at that run-on.. my eyes... MY EYES!

Very funny.

BTW I know it's Blood on Ice... that's why it's so awesome Hail Quorthon (the poor dead bastard) \m/
 
Both articles are fantastic. As for the first one, i laughed to the extreme when Gary wrote "Little did she know but she had less than 10 seconds to live". Its just the perfect way to start the paragraph. I'm just a little confused as to why this post is with the Symphony X ones.
 
That was amazing. Very well played out, also, having the chick never actually say what she did, leaving the reader in suspense to see what the guy has to say. All the sudden, it's the guy's turn, and he says every 2 seconds that she was blowing a stranger in the bathroom!!! I really didn't see it coming!
 
Nyahaha that has to go into the my "things I wish I had thought to say" folder. Shit that's wicked. Why are so many girls such retarded self-important whores?

@ Silent Song, I think it's really cool that you are out of the closet ... are you sure you read my post properly?