Please help me out with English grammar.

[pitoga]

Greetings.

I'm not that fluent in English, and need to verify if this sentence is grammatically correct. Thanks in advance.


"The insane artist maintains an internal monologue
in which only speaks to himself; as a genuine artist maintains a dialogue with the world"

 

[DanLights]

You need a pronoun in that second line, depending on the place it could have a slightly different meaning:

"In which he only speaks to himself" means the only person he speaks to is to himself, probably what you mean.
"In which only he speaks to himself" means the only person who speaks to him is himself, nobody else speaks to him, probably not what you meant, I would use the first one even if it´s not exactly the meaning, it´s more common.

on the next part, I would put "and as a genuine artist..." cause that way it links to the first part and doesn´t need a pronoun, or you could put "as a genuine artist he maintains a..." which means the same, personally I would use the first option but I´m pretty sure both are fine

 

[roy22341]

It really depends what you're trying to get across.

"The insane artist maintains an internal monologue in which he speaks to himself the way the genuine artist maintains a dialogue with the world"
If you're trying to imply a similarity between the monologue of the insane artist and the dialogue of the genuine artist. If you're trying to compare the two like this, the use of a semicolon is incorrect. I don't think this is quite what you're trying to get across though.

"The insane artist maintains an internal monologue in which he only speaks to himself; the genuine artist maintains a dialogue with the world"
Here you've got two separate clauses, each could stand alone, therefore, you can use a semicolon if you want. The meaning is a bit different here: you're now contrasting the differences between insane and genuine artists rather than drawing attention to the similarity. This is more like what you were trying to get across, I believe.

"The insane artist maintains an internal monologue in which he only speaks to himself, while the genuine artist maintains a dialogue with the world"
Another way of contrasting the two. You can never go wrong substituting a contraction for a semicolon - it makes it far easier for people to understand exactly what you mean.

 

[pitoga]

Thank you! I'll go with the "The insane artist maintains an internal monologue in which he only speaks to himself, while the genuine artist maintains a dialogue with the world" option. Thanks a lot to both of you!

 

[Adari]

Thank you! I'll go with the "The insane artist maintains an internal monologue in which he only speaks to himself, while the genuine artist maintains a dialogue with the world" option. Thanks a lot to both of you!

Yes, that sounds much better than in the OP. I would definitely say it like that.

 

[ShredVicious]

Quick comment... isn't the first half of the sentence redundant? I mean, an internal monologue already implies that he is speaking to himself. You could simplify the sentence to: "The insane artist maintains an internal monologue, while the genuine artist maintains a dialogue with the world"

 

[Skinny Viking]

^ hmmmmmmmm

 

[DanLights]

Quick comment... isn't the first half of the sentence redundant? I mean, an internal monologue already implies that he is speaking to himself. You could simplify the sentence to: "The insane artist maintains an internal monologue, while the genuine artist maintains a dialogue with the world"

I´m assuming it´s a song lyric, they can be redundant for the sake of rhythm, or whatever, don´t overanalyze it

 

[ShredVicious]

I´m assuming it´s a song lyric, they can be redundant for the sake of rhythm, or whatever, don´t overanalyze it

Haha! My wife is currently a high school English teacher with a master's degree in literature. Over-analyzing has become an unfortunate norm for me.

 

[pitoga]

hahahah, I still can change it. It's actually a quote of some psychologist. And this client of mine translated it into English (it's originally in french). To use it in the first page of his booklet.

 

[NoSoup4you22]

Sounds good, though the statement itself sounds UNTRUE to me lol.